Write It Down

There are a few of the action plans under my Spiritual Goal : Pray with Purpose. One of them is to take a few minutes before I pray to think about things I need or want to pray for, or things that I am thankful for. Consider writing the things down to help me remember.

The other one is to set a goal to pray morning and night. Create a reminder such as a note or a picture, to help me remember to pray.

Eventually, I have combined this 2 action plans and make a small pocket notebook to remind me of the above 2 little goals of mine.

I noticed and remember that most of the prophets and apostles counsel us to keep to write it down whatever impressions or thoughts that come to us.

The very first time when I came across this counsel was from a talk from Elder Richard G. Scott (1928 – 2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come. Also, the knowledge you gain will available throughout your life.”

“Always, day or night, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, seek to recognize and respond to the direction of the Spirit. Express gratitude for the help received and obey it. This practice will reinforce your capacity to learn by the Spirit. It will permit the Lord to guide your life and to enrich the use of every other capacity latent in your being.”

I was touched by Elder Scott’s promise that the Lord will give us more direction when we write down what we receive. I was confused at the same time that I was not sure if I even knew how to receive personal revelation or the promptings of the Spirit.

That was the reason why I did not do anything and seriously find a pocket diary for that. But Elder’s Scott’s words stuck at the back of my mind whenever I was not so busy, and I still do not take action on it.

Ever since I have kicked start my Focus on Fitness Goal and Get Cooking Goal, it gives me more confidence and discipline to start to listen the counsel of the apostle and try on it.

I used a used small pocket notebook from the children that I can get at home, pasted a laminated prayer girl to make it as a cover. So that it would remind me to pray at morning and night at the same time whenever I look at the notebook.

I just started about few days. I jotted down whatever thoughts that came to me; I jotted down the things that happened on that particular day, so that remind me to give thanks to Heavenly Father at night.

Even though I just started for few days. I kind of, feel that, I think, I started to recognize the Spirit’s voice. First helping me feel His love, then testifying of truth whenever as I read the General Conference talks, and finally giving specific direction for me when I was troubled within my mind.

I feel joy even in the midst of my not so good condition, I think I am start learning how to recognize personal revelation. write it down in the small pocket notebook help me to start journal more often as I would have the desire to pen down my experiences.

Whenever I feel discouraged or struggling with my current circumstances, there is a source that I can go back and read about my own specific experiences where I received the divine help.

I feel grateful that at least I have start to take action and kick start this spiritual goal of mine, and it shows a little faith grows.

Be Still, and Know that I am God

This morning as usual it was just like another Saturday morning, I was doing the laundry and household chores till Alvin called and asked if the children able to bring Ally dog down for grooming.

After we went to Puchong IOI Mall to buy some stationeries and groceries at Aeon Supermarket, we went to Alvin’s office to scan Issac’s drawing for the Family History Fireside poster.

As Alvin was sitting down at his office desk, I noticed the power point on the wall behind the other work desk behind him. It looks so familiar that the wall background itself was the same wall when he did the video call on last Wednesday night. He claimed that he was in the Client’s office that evening. It looks like he was lying to us.

My heart felt as it had sunken to the bottomless hole. I really felt hurt and disappointed. It looks indeed that my instinct is correct. How I wish I was wrong to have such instinct.

The first thing I did is to cry out to Heavenly Father in my heart. Then, I remembered the talk I read about – ‘Peace, Be Still’. There was actually another BYU Hawaii Speech that caught my eyes yesterday that has the same title ‘Peace, Be Still’ but different speaker.

For that instance, I said my prayer in the heart and thank God for what He was trying to prepare me and calm me, as He is telling me, “Peace, Be Still, and Know that I am God.”

Peace, Be Still

by Sister Alison Whiting

Sister Alison Whiting pointed out 4 essentials that helped her found to help her better hear the Savior’s words, “Peace, be still.”

1. Set Apart Time for Stillness in Our Life

“… The Savior sets the example of taking time to be alone and apart, to commune with His Father. He shows us that it’s important to seek stillness regularly, but especially in times of stress or where much is required of us…”

“So, I ask you, where is your place apart? So you take time to nourish your soul? Let’s each follow the example of our Savior and find a place or activity to be “apart.”

“Create spaces where you can see beyond your classes or callings or responsibilities and where you can hear the Spirit, because it is, after all, a STILL small voice. If you invest that time, you will find that you are stronger and better able to accomplish what is ahead of you.”

2. Get to Know Your Heavenly Father and Your Savior

“President Uchtdorf said: “Our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father. He desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure.”

“To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’”⁶ There it is again, Be, still.”

“Are we sometimes like Peter? We can’t see the Savior in the dark of a storm and so maybe we forget what we already know; that He’s already there? Peter jumped in, walked, fell, cried out and the Savior caught him. That sounds about right. If the Father and Savior are with us all the way, they will be with us through all of those steps. And, at least in my life, the Savior is patient with that. The Savior told Peter, “Oh thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” but I take that to be the Savior saying: I’m right here. You can trust me to stay.”

“…While it reminds me of this experience with Peter, it really more makes me think of all of us. How often do I feel “under the water” because I got scared, overwhelmed, hurt, tired or whatever? The Savior is reaching out His hand and saying, “Come.”

3. Hold On

“…Do you hear yourself in Joseph’s honest plea in Section 121? “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yeah thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people?”⁹

“And, with a heart full of understanding, the Lord answered back, in verse seven, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.”¹⁰ Peace, he says, be still. In Section 122, the Lord continues by listing many, many more hard things that Joseph had yet to go through.”

Sister Whiting quoted Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s words in his October 2013 General Conference talk – ‘Like a Broken Vessel’.

“So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”⁴

“Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.⁵”

“Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait.⁶ Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.”

4. Simplify

“We have to take the time to listen. We have to make the space to hear His voice. Do you have expectations of yourself that are not the same as the Lord’s expectations for you? Consider the circumstances of your life right now, set priorities and then go to the Lord for guidance and confirmation. It is important for us to get really clear about what the Lord’s expectation is for us, personally. You know, I find that when I’m worked up and worried about all that I have to do, more often than not, it’s the Lord who says, “Peace, be still. Seek the Lord’s will and see what you both can do to calm the storm.”

“An easy and powerful way to find simplicity is with gratitude. Usually, I start with the smallest, most basic things: that I’m breathing in and out, that I have running water, the gospel is in my life, my daughter is safe, my family loves me, I have food to eat. These lead on and on until I am filled with a greater understanding of how blessed I am and how the arms of my Heavenly Father and Savior are wrapped around me every day. I become less stressed as I see the simple that I take for granted that are already taken care of. So, in this time of Thanksgiving, I recommend that we make an extra effort to increase our gratitude.”

My heart indeed was not really comfortable and I think was unable to hide my unhappiness or moody face. I think Alvin had noticed about it later and he behaved as very tired the whole day and I noticed it every time when he came back from his so called ‘outstation trip’ always like this.

Eventually, both of us still have the Branch Family History Fireside Rehearsal on Zoom to attend with the rest of the EQ and RS Presidency. Thus, I just put aside what was on my heart and tried to concentrate this Church activity.

My heart is grateful for the promptings and the voice that I heard and calm the storm in my heart, and it is just like what Sister Alison Whiting said,

“It is hard sometimes to endure or see the reasons why the things that we want have to wait. But, that’s life. Joseph never got to set foot in the physical Zion in the West that he saw so clearly in his visions.”

“In the end, sometimes we wait and the Lord whispers through the storm, “Peace, be still.” Trust that the God who calms the storms of the sea, will also calm the storms in our hearts.”

“We must hold on for the Lord’s timing, recognizing that, although our situation may not change, He loves us and knows the end from the beginning of our story.”

Faith is for the Future ~ Issac Reminds Me…

My mind was cluttered in the evening after the children and I came back from our dinner at the Medan Selera. It was going worse when I think of Alvin was not in the home as according to him, went for outstation.

All of the negative thoughts, all the doubts were flushing into my mind and heart like a brown rushing water. Where would he be? Is he really there as what he had told us? Is there another woman or the same woman again this time?…

After taking my bath, I could not stand but I talked to Issac what I felt inside my mind and heart when he was sitting at the study desk looking at his hand phone. He just looked at me with the puzzle and helpless impression, and keep quiet listening to his mum murmuring.

I sat down on the floor, taken both my small pocket notebook and my action book, browsing through the talk yesterday about Alma and Alma the younger. Suddenly Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk ‘Remember Lot’s Wife’ came to my mind. I just look it up in the YouTube Channel, thus just play the video.

“Remember Lot’s Wife”: Faith Is for the Future

by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I listened to the talk while trying to read through yesterday talk, but Elder Holland’s humour way indeed attracted me all the time and I started to put down the things I was doing and listened carefully to his address.

Issac was sitting next to me, and both of us were enjoying Elder Holland’s talk. When both of us listen till this point of the the talk,

“That happens in marriages, too, and in other relationships we have. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counselled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.”

Issac stopped the YouTube, he smiled and looked at me and said, “Mum, you know, every time when you tell me all these stuffs, my heart will thinking like… here we go again.”

He pointed his finger to my hand phone which he paused the YouTube, “Now, you should learned from this talk, it is already pass and it is ancient wound you know?” Issac winked at me.

I cannot help but laugh! It seems as this little child of mine already grown up become like a little man!

I can see clearly the happiness or rather the relief in his eyes, signally to me as his heart was jumping in joy as “Yes! This is what I needed the most and God had saved me from my crazy mum!”

Issac touched my hand phone's screen with his finger, then the talk continued,

“Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!”

“Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of your landfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?” Splat.”

We looked at each other and laugh again. I paused the video again, and wanted to share with Issac my thought.

“Issac, do you know that this talk I had already listened sometime ago and I listened so many times. I do not know why when I sat down just now just after talked to you, this talk came into my mind. It is just like the Lord knows you and wants to share with me. You know what I mean right?”

He just nodded his head and smiles. I guess both of us experience the same tender mercies moments from the Lord, but it was different things we learned or testimony that we gained for both of us.

We continued for the rest of the video:

“And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.”

“Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worse than Miniver Cheevy, and in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least there he and she were only destroying themselves. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighbourhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.”

“Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).”

“The proviso, of course, is that repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebasing someone with their earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!”

“Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.”

“You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbours. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get—and neither did Laman and Lemuel and a host of others in the scriptures.”

“This is an important matter to consider at the start of a new year—and every day ought to be the start of a new year and a new life. Such is the wonder of faith and repentance and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ…”

Just before I sat down on the floor, I looked at my pocket notebook as it was totally blank and I wonder if today there is not such or single spiritual moment for me to jot down or for me to feel grateful for?

And now, here it comes… reminds me that He is there with me all the time. This experience teaches me that, He is with my children all the time when they need His guidance too.

I love these final few quotes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

“To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”

“…When we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives…”

“…Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever…”

I am so grateful for the tender mercy experience that both Issac and me have this evening. It does filled and warmth my heart!

Remember Lot’s Wife

I can say I have been through quite a rough emotion mixture of doubts and insecure feelings for the past week. I accidentally found out that the earlier challenges which been through still haunting in our life… dishonesty and unkept promise…

I know that today is a Sabbath and is the day I should think of Jesus and Heavenly Father, and should not think of my own feelings upon this day. I just can’t help…

Eternal Family is my dream. There was once I felt that I have actually make it, in the grace and the mercies of the Lord. The love and the covenants that made in the temple is so precious to me.

Deep down I do really hope for may be an equally love which I have give and devoted all these years, but love does not work in this way…

The topic surrounded today during the Sacrament Meeting were Temple, Family History Works and Faith. Especially I like the talk by Sister Saffron son, Brother Kelvin.

He talked about his testimony of the gospel, his service as missionary, his studies in BYU Hawaii and his lovely wife and marriage challenges.

I could feel Sister Saffron happiness and the joy she have, and everyone spirit had been lifted up because of Brother Kelvin’s talk.

Suddenly I felt that there are bigger works for me to do, instead of dwelling in my own challenges: It is my responsibility to rear this two little precious that I have – Issac and Annabelle in love and righteousness, teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizen and contributing to the society. This is the work that the Lord entrusted me to do.

Some how in my heart, I still feel the pain inside… Tonight only 3 of us are in the house. It was a last minute decision that He left this evening to outstation due to work.

Still…need to thank to the Lord as he arrived at his destination safely after 3.5 hour drive from here. We had our family night prayer together through the phone during night time before we went to bed.

I can’t remember how I came to this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland during January 2009 BYU Devotional, “Remember Lot’s Wife”: Faith Is for the Future. It is a talk address to the young adults in the church.

“… I do want to talk to you about the past and the future, not so much in terms of New Year’s commitments per se, but more with an eye toward any time of transition and change in your lives—and those moments come virtually every day of our lives.”

“As a scriptural theme for this discussion... It is Luke 17:32, where the Savior cautions, “Remember Lot’s wife.”

“In the time we have this morning, I am not going to talk to you about the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah, nor of the comparison the Lord Himself has made to those days and our own time. I am not even going to talk about obedience and disobedience. I just want to talk to you for a few minutes about looking back and looking ahead.”

“One of the purposes of history is to teach us the lessons of life… So, if history is this important—and it surely is—what did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong?… Apparently what was wrong with Lot’s wife was that she wasn’t just looking back; in her heart she wanted to go back. It would appear that even before they were past the city limits, she was already missing what Sodom and Gomorrah had offered her.”

“It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind... So it isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin.”

“So, as a new year starts and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently she thought—fatally, as it turned out—that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind.”

“To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now; to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future; to miss the here-and-now-and-tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there-and-then-and-yesterday—these are some of the sins”

“One of my favorite books of the New Testament is Paul’s too-seldom-read letter to the Philippians. After reviewing the very privileged and rewarding life of his early years—his birthright, his education, his standing in the Jewish community—Paul says that all of that was nothing (“dung” he calls it) compared to his conversion to Christianity. He says, and I paraphrase: “I have stopped rhapsodizing about ‘the good old days’ and now eagerly look toward the future ‘that I may apprehend that for which Christ apprehended me.’” Then comes this verse:

This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 3:13–14]

No Lot’s wife here. No looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah here. Paul knows it is out there in the future, up ahead wherever heaven is taking us where we will win “the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

“At this point, let me pause and add a lesson that applies both in your own life and also in the lives of others. There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.”

“That happens in marriages, too, and in other relationships we have. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.”

“Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!”

“Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of your landfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?” Splat.”

“And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.”

“Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worse than Miniver Cheevy, and in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least there he and she were only destroying themselves. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighborhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.”

“Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).”

“The proviso, of course, is that repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebashing someone with their earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!”

“Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.”

“You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbors. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get—and neither did Laman and Lemuel and a host of others in the scriptures.”

“This is an important matter to consider at the start of a new year—and every day ought to be the start of a new year and a new life. Such is the wonder of faith and repentance and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

“…I knew something of what you were feeling. Some of you were having thoughts such as these: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester or a new major or a new romance hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to go home?”

“To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”

“…Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever…”

“Remember Lot’s Wife”: Faith Is for the Future

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

BYU Devotional January 2009

I was so overwhelmed with the messages in this talk.

May be I should not hurting myself and others over and over again. Have faith in Jesus Christ and know that He has great things install for me and my family, which ever the outcome is going to be.

How little faith I have and I have to work hard on it… I especially love the encouragement which Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said in his closing:

“Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there.”

“Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever…”

Let’s live my life to see it!