Perfect... Imperfection... Seeking A Balance...

Showing posts with label Humility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humility. Show all posts

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Looking Outside: Share Our Testimonies

Mosiah 28:1-3

1 Now it came to pass that after the sons of Mosiah had done all these things, they took a small number with them and returned to their father, the king, and desired of him that he would grant unto them that they might, with these whom they had selected, go up to the land of Nephi that they might preach the things which they had heard, and that they might impart the word of God to their brethren, the Lamanites—

2 That perhaps they might bring them to the knowledge of the Lord their God, and convince them of the iniquity of their fathers; and that perhaps they might cure them of their hatred towards the Nephites, that they might also be brought to rejoice in the Lord their God, that they might become friendly to one another, and that there should be no more contentions in all the land which the Lord their God had given them.

3 Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.

Having been converted, the sons of King Mosiah felt a strong desire to preach the gospel to the Lamanites. The desires of the sons of Mosiah changed because they had exercised faith in Jesus Christ, repented of all their sins, and become converted and how the Spirit of the Lord influenced them.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared a statement like this, "The intensity of our desire to share the gospel is a great indicator of the extent of our personal conversion" (Dallin H. Oaks, "Sharing the Gospel," Ensign, Nov. 2001, 7).

This quote by President Oaks indeed gives me time to ponder my conversion. It seems like the intensity of my desire to share the gospel or testimony is not as deep as I have the desire to share.

I still remember when I had just been called Relief Society president. I was always encouraged the sisters to pray and read the scriptures. I shared my conversion story to them to testify that God hears prayers and answers our prayers. I shared my experiences studying the scriptures that enlightened my mind and understanding of things around me.

That was quite a joyful thing to do. I am no longer to share like this as I was. It is quite a sad thing to think about, and as President Oaks said, it has to do with my conversion. I am just browsing through the "Come, Follow Me - For Individuals and Families" for the following year's manual, which Alvin took back from church last Sunday. We will be studying about Old Testament. I was drawn to the first page: Conversion Is Our Goal.

It wrote, all gospel learning and teaching aim to deepen our conversion to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and help us become more like Them. For this reason, we are not just looking for new information but to become a "new creature" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This means relying on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help us change our hearts, views, actions, and very natures.

Our conversion does not happen all at once, but it extends beyond our typical Sunday School. It requires consistent, daily efforts to understand and live the gospel. Gospel learning that leads to true conversion involves the influence of the Holy Ghost.

"The Holy Ghost guides us to the truth and bears witness of that truth (see John 16:13). He enlightens our minds, quickens our understandings, and touches our hearts with revelation from God, the source of all truth. The Holy Ghost purifies our hearts. He inspires in us a desire to live by truth, and He whispers to us ways to do this. Truly, "the Holy Ghost … shall teach [us] all things" (John 14:26)."

"... For we know that if we can be worthy of the presence of the Holy Ghost, we can also be worthy to live in the presence of Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ."

These sentences struck me! So, what does it mean?

It means that I need to be humble to rely on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help me to change. It means with that humility, and I would be able to invite the Holy Ghost to be my constant companion.

With the companionship and the influence of the Spirit, the Spirit would help guide me in my every thought and action and the choices I will n my life. Sharing what I believe is one of the ways I can humbly serve others.

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And, it was so co-incident that we learned about the parables of the Ten Virgins last week in the Institute class. Both the wise and the foolish virgins, who were invited to the feast. The oil in the parable represent spiritual preparation, testimony, faith, conversion, and experience.

We cannot borrow spiritual preparation from others. We prepare for the Second Coming by increasing our testimony and conversion through daily righteousness. To be ready for the Lord’s coming and be worthy to remain in His presence, we must come to know Him.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Looking Outside: Accept Church Calling Willingly… A Release

Our family went to church last Sunday. The Puchong chapel has opened to the members after being closed since last April due to Covid-19. I met with President Augustine regards to my calling before the sacrament meeting started.

Ever since that 'huge happening' in my job or work last month, I was so helpless with so many things around me. I texted President Augustine and asked if I could request a release of my calling as Relief Society President. I texted him that I had been through some challenges in my job, which knocked me down. I feel I could not serve the sisters in the branch. I feel that my burden is heavy. I know I should not think like that, but I feel overwhelmed with my work, study, family, and calling. I am like losing focus.

I frankly told him that I would have big trouble with my job because of my mistakes in calculating materials for the project that needed to be handed over soon. I let him know that I am currently studying PathwayConnect. And, I am still trying my best to juggle all those things and my relationship with Alvin. I feel I can not cope. I know that I have been blessing a lot by the Lord. I know that I need to do the calling, but I cannot do it and move forward. And I know that the sisters in the branch need ministering, and they deserved a better and more dedicated sister to serve them. I feel so sorry that I was disappointed with the calling that was given to me.

I talked to the President about my concerns and updated him about my job matters, my study, and things during MCO for the past few months. Finally, he told me that he had been inspired to call another sister in the branch for this calling. He thanked me for the service that I had rendered during my calling. It is about two years and nine months. I felt relieved for that instance.

I still feel a little guilty that I gave up serving in my calling, and my faith is not strong enough. And, I think I did not act in a manner consistent with the specific Christlike attribute that I chose, which is humility or humble. A question that follows that asked us to ponder: What might you have done differently?

This question brings my memory back to a few months back, during the first semester of PathwayConnect. There was a lesson about thinking errors. "Thinking errors are failures in judgment caused by stress, and they are incorrect ways of looking at the world. Because of your distorted view, you tend to act in ways that don't resolve the stress but instead make it worse or add new stress."

It was a struggling lesson for me when I realized that I have a weakness like this, and it occurred whenever I thought about my calling. I feel powerlessness in the academic definition. "Powerlessness" means you can't do this, and you can't do that. And you can't even try.

I know I should not have this thinking, but I can't help it. My mind would automatically shut off and blank whenever I thought of my calling as Relief Society President, and I felt overwhelmed. I am so afraid that I can't do it because there are so many sisters in the Relief Society, and so many of them are membership longer than me, and I couldn't take care of so many sisters in the branch. I realized that this had been 'haunting' me for almost two years nine months now. I could still handle it initially, but I felt I had gotten worse for the past few months.

Briefly, I was surprised and upset that this powerless thinking error of how it interrupted me so much. I did find out the when and how I addressed this weakness for that instance, and I guess I have found out and written down how I could overcome it. The problem is that I do not do it or act on it, and that is my negligence and idleness. I did not reach out to Heavenly Father. I know that I need to pray to Heavenly Father to seek His help for changing my heart.

I know I need to plan to guide myself towards little potential accomplishments that I know I have the best chances of favorable results in and have the courage to act on it. It can be started by just a call to one sister a week, talking to the sister for five minutes. Not like the earlier planned 30 minutes for every day. So by doing that, I can reduce the powerlessness thinking whenever I think of my calling and the burden I felt.

Living the gospel and service to the Lord is a joyful experience, but I think the opposite way if I continue to have such thinking errors. And those are the things that I did not do. I am not being humble enough to ask or plead for His help in doing my calling. Instead of being supposed to serve, I just let go and neglected the calling extended to me because of my weaknesses. I do not do much about it.

I felt glad after hearing the name of the sister that will be called after me. She is such a spiritual and dedicated sister, and I know the Lord indeed calls her.

Even though I still feel a bit of emptiness inside me, but I know that this release is for the betterment of the sisters in the branch, give me more time to strive to be a better spouse, parent, daughter, friend, or neighbor, and a more devoted ministering sister.

I hope I do learn something out of this that – Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always there for me to call upon Them… if I just learn how to be humble enough to ask…

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The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Looking Outside: Refrain from Boasting

Matthew 23:12

12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

Like the Pharisees, if we try to exalt ourselves above others, we will be abased. To be abased means to be lowered or humiliated or to become less respected. If we are humble and serve others, the Lord will exalt us.

The phrase "shall be exalted" implies that the Lord will lift us and help us become more like Him.

Alma 38:11

11 See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength.

Alma's counsel was intended to help Shiblon develop righteous attributes. Our efforts to develop righteous attributes prepare us to teach and serve others. One aspect of pride is putting greater trust in oneself than in God.

Pride is also evident when a person thinks they are superior to or more important than others. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride" (Robert D. Hales, "Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 73).

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I have truly experienced the grace and tender mercy of the Lord guiding me to resolve my recent mistakes in my work. It is indeed a humble experience for me. This past week's experience reminded the days when I tried to know God and Jesus Christ - when I went through the pains and heartache after my divorce. It is the same process.

What I can say is I am grateful and humbled for this experience, and I have been able to see the blessings and tender mercies that the Lord has given to me. It all started with those mistakes, and the challenges still keep coming for the last week and this week. I still need to on and off check the stocks and the completed work done at the site while doing office admin and some accounts works. All these are still manageable.

It was all started with my car. Throughout this week, I noticed something different and sounded whenever I turned my car's steering wheel. Due to it is time to service the vehicle. Thus I decided to drive into the service workshop last Saturday and have a check. I thought it would be minor, but it turned out the steering rack needed to change because it was wholly spoilt, and the mechanic advised that it is critical to change it straight away. I called Alvin, and he asked me to seek another opinion from the mechanic near my office area.

After the service workshop had serviced the car, I drove slowly towards Ara Damansara and safely reached the mechanic's workshop near my office. After getting the second round check, it finally confirmed that I needed to change the steering rack. The mechanic gave me a quotation shortly. I discussed with Alvin over the phone, and we concluded and proved to change, and I need to leave the car there over the weekend because the mechanic can only get the required parts on Monday. Alvin helped to pay the fees of RM1,665. It is cheaper than the earlier service workshop quotation. No choice, I took a GrabCar back home. It is such a tired Saturday for me.

Now, I reflect on the past week. I was always praying for safety and protection from Heavenly Father before I went out from home every day. I do not know why and it seems like I have a feeling of got to be extra careful this week, especially when I was driving. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father and my Savior for protecting my children and me during in our car journey for the past weeks. I know that it is not lucky nor fortunate, but because of Their love for us.

Sometimes, I thought I was strong enough to carry whatever had happened in my work on my own. I forgot to pray to the Father more often than I did after my work's more serious problems had been resolved. But still, there are always here a little, and they're a little hick-ups on the way.

I indeed had no idea that the load of the things that continued coming my way would become more extensive than I imagined, and I still need to rely on the Lord's help to carry it. I would need to put away my pride and be willing to humble myself and pray to Him to seek guidance, strength, and wisdom to go through each day to have peace of mind and go to bed every night.

I know it is still hard for me to develop the humility to serve others in my calling. Whenever I look for these past weeks, I am reminded of the tender mercies of the Lord when I needed them the most. It gives and increases and inspires me to look for small and simple ways to serve others every day.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Looking Outside: Accept Church Calling Willingly… to be Continued

Mosiah 2:16-17

16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.

17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

I listened to one of the Come Follow Me lessons on the Book of Mormon Central YouTube channel three weeks ago, and something caught my eyes and mind on what the presenter shared in the Doctrine and Covenants 124.

Brother Taylor shared his favorite scripture verse in this entire long section of 124 because it is so profoundly relevant and so applicable to our lives and, more specifically, to his life: "Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you, my servant Joseph Smith, I am well pleased with your offering and acknowledgments, which you have made..."

Brother Taylor reiterated this to the young lad that gave the apostles two fish and five loaves of bread which Jesus had multiplied and gave the food and fed the 5,000 people. The Lord asked us to provide him with what we had - it is our offering.

"God is not asking you to perform a level of Joseph Smith and Emma Smith. God is not asking you to have the capacity of an Enoch or an Abraham and Sarah. He is asking you to make an offering of what you have. Whatever your five loaves and your two fish are, it is that offering that you give to the Lord."

"And then notice the second thing, 'and acknowledgments.' I do not know precisely what the Lord meant by that, but I know what it means to me, at least today, at this level of my spiritual maturity, with plenty of room to continue to grow.”

“It is that idea that I acknowledge who God is. Who am I? Who other people are, and my complete need for His grace, my dependence upon the Savior for all that I have, for all that I hope to be and to become, it is that acknowledgment that softens the heart, that says, I need thee, oh I need thee.”

“That acknowledgment opens channels of revelation for me to be able to tell. It is not about me; it is about connecting as many people as possible with the God who gave them life and who wants to redeem them. It resonates with my soul. I want to be more like this, to be more willing to offer all that I have.”

“It seems that God often does his work with people who are not filled with time and energy, and even talent at times. I love the fact that if you look at the scriptures and if you look at the history of different dispensations of the gospel.”

“He takes the world's weak things, which may not feel like they are on top of their game, and he says, will you go to work in my vineyard today? And sometimes he calls at the most inconvenient times where you think, oh, this is the worst timing possible.”

“And yet, that is when some of the greatest miracles are performed. God is still performing miracles despite our weaknesses. Why? It comes back to the first part of verse 1. It is because of your offering and the acknowledgments that you have made.”

“Do not ever get discouraged with whatever your commerce or swampland may be in life. If you keep digging, you keep working, and you keep offering what you have got, even if it is just five loaves and two fish for a group of 5,000. The Lord multiplies the harvest.”

“It is the Lord who takes whatever our best is, even when we are feeling down, and he magnifies it and makes the kingdom grow despite our struggles. There is something beautiful about acknowledging his hand in that process.”

”You do not have to run faster than your strength; you don't have to compare yourself to anyone else in the world. Your life didn't begin at birth. You have so many experiences. You have so many talents, so much to offer, and much to acknowledge to the Load. As you move forward in faith, trust in him more than ever before.”

“Saying, I will give all that I have to thee, even though I acknowledge it is not much. However, I will offer it all, then be still and watch how amazing his power and capacity are to multiply your offering. In the process, you will discover the story of the life that's inside of you, and it is a beautiful story. You are the hero of that story, with the help of the Savior.”

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I still can remember this lesson I learned about three weeks ago. It relates to me and resonates with my thoughts about my Church calling to be a Relief Society president. I had WhatsApp to President Augustine about releasing my calling last two weeks during my work mistakes happened. It was too much to bear for me. I felt that too much was on my plate, and I could not eat it all and digest it all simultaneously.

This topic of accepting Church calling willingly - is not a new topic to me. Ever since I was called as Relief Society President, I think I was doing good in my calling and ok during the first year. I guess it is because there were not many trials and challenges that came to me at that time? After I started to feel the tension, pressures, and burdens on my shoulder, I could not take it anymore.

The thought of getting released is not new. I had asked for release before last year before MCO during February. Due to MCO and I have to stay at home, things became more relaxed, and with the help of both understanding counselors, we were able to minister with the sisters through WhatsApp video calls. It was an excellent experience for us.

After the MCO, I neglected my calling as Relief Society President again. The thought came again, and I thought that the sisters in the branch deserved a better sister to be their president who has time and is dedicated to serving them well. Then it subsided because I was thinking of wanting to try again.

These thoughts came and went, and it was just like a cycle. I am in that circle that it seems like I could not come out of it. It was quite a surprise to me when I was researching how I can develop humility, and this topic came out as one of those how can I humbly serve others.

One thought that came into my mind is: maybe the Lord wants me to learn how to rely on Him in helping His daughters in the branch. It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Lord never requests me to serve His fellow men alone by myself. This is His work. I have been given opportunities to serve His daughters of Zion, relying on Him humbly, and He will guide me through the Holy Ghost.

It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

Philippian 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

After the meeting with the client last week, I did remember that Yeap asked me to carefully calculate out the current stocks at the site and determine if he needed to order extra carpets from China. I remembered that he told me to come out with options for him. Then, I worked through the night, and I came out with three options and WhatsApp to him the following day. Eventually, he called me and told me that this was not what he wanted. He mentioned his final decision and asked me to make sure of it. I was speechless, and my mind was suddenly blank at that moment, thinking of how can I do it.

After putting down the phone, Jessie called a short while and mentioned her disappointment that I did not use my brain to think about how to solve it and asked me if I just wanted to be a despatch only. I kept quiet and listened to her dissatisfaction with me, and she said I just wanted to throw the problems back to Yeap only but did not want to face it. She finally hung up her call. I can feel her anger toward me.

I felt so sad, very down and helpless for that instance. After praying to Heavenly Father and thinking for a while, I called the installer to do a physical site measurement at the site the next day, Thursday, a Deepavali public holiday. I called Alvin and told him that I needed to work on the Deepavali holiday and could not accompany him and the children.

E Chin asked me to pray to Father before I do everything and seek His guidance to work the things out. I did it on Thursday when I was doing the site measurement, and everything went well after spending four hours at the site. I had peace of mind and felt the comfort that the Lord gives.

On Friday, I sat down in the office, calculated the available stocks and site measurements, and checked if we had sufficient to complete this project. I find that it is just enough, and I do hope that it is. I reported the outcome to Yeap, somehow our telephone conversation cut off, and he did not call back. I guess he was satisfied with the results of my findings. This week is indeed a long week for me.

Fortunately for my PathwayConnect study, we have started our team semester project, and I have very supportive sisters in the team. Thus, it is not so much pressure for me as I have to work alone on the weekly assignments.

I am grateful that the Lord's guidance helps me to go through this week. I am thankful for E Chin, who works in the Lord's hand in willing to talk to me and advise me to seek the Lord's help. I am grateful that Alvin understands my work situation and is willing to care for the children for that Deepavali holiday.

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These are the words of Paul in a letter to the people of Philippi, “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phillippians 4:11). To be content no matter what circumstances we are in is easier said than done. To my surprise, I learned that Apostle Paul wrote these words while he was imprison in Rome.

I read an author in her article wrote, Hannah Pirzadeh “We Can All Find Joy within Our Personal Prisons,” Liahona February 2021 issue:

“Unlike Paul, most of us do not spend our days locked up within prison walls. But so many of us can be locked in a prisonlike state of mind—trapped within a trial that appears to be closing in on us. Our prisons could be a lost job, the death of a loved one, loneliness, fear, financial turbulence, addiction, hurt, or anxiety. When we feel locked in our own personal prisons, do we, like Paul, fill our hearts and our speech with thankfulness, hope, faith, trust, and joy? Could we look back at our times in prison and refer to them as the happiest chapters of our lives? How is that even possible?”

“This becomes possible when we believe what Paul believed when he said, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). It is through Jesus Christ that we can be so full of joy even in our darkest places, “in whatsoever state I am” (Philippians 4:11).”

“When we are in our prisons and pray with everything we have got, thanking Heavenly Father for all He has done, we can truly rest assured that everything will be all right because of Jesus Christ.”

“Just remember, it was because of Christ that, when Paul was in prison, he wrote the happiest book of the Bible. Our own prisons can be our happiest chapters too. As President Russell M. Nelson taught, “When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation … and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives.”2 We can be happy and strengthened through Jesus Christ, in whatsoever state we are.”

I am thankful for the peace and comfort that the Lord has given me during these troubled times. I know I could not make it through this week without my Savior's help.

I have learned to rely on the Lord daily for the strength and knowledge I need to go through each day throughout these past two weeks.

And, today I learn that I can do all things through Christ who strengthened me,in whatsoever state or circumstances I am in.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Looking Inside: Savior’s Example of Completing His Atonement

Mosiah 18:8-10

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

When we are baptized, we enter into a covenant with God that we will serve Him and keep His commandments. One way we serve God is by serving His children. Things we are willing to do when we are baptized are “mourn with those that mourn”, “comfort those that stand in need of comfort”, “stand as witnesses of god at all times and in all things, and in all places”.

Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79

77 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen. 

79 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

When we partake of the sacrament, we witness that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ, that we will always remember Him, and that we will keep His commandments.

We can show our willingness to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ include standing for what is right, telling others that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sharing our belief in Him, and participating in His work.

When we are faithful to the promises we make during the sacrament, we can always have the Spirit to be with us.

“You receive great blessings when you keep the baptismal covenant. As you renew it, the Lord renews the promised remission of your sins. Cleansed from sin, you are able to ‘always have his Spirit to be with [you]’ (D&C 20:77). The Spirit’s constant companionship is one of the greatest gifts you can receive in mortality. The Spirit will guide you in the paths of righteousness and peace, leading you to eternal life with your Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ” (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 148).

And now, in my work, the mess that I have to clear stands in front of me. We had a meeting with the client this afternoon. I could not defend our company because I know all this happened partly due to my mistakes. My boss asked me to go back to find the solution again to solve these issues because the earlier resolution seems not to work after this afternoon's meeting.

After driving back to the office, my mind was cluttered, and cannot think anything else. I was trying to pray, and still, I could not have peace. I picked up my phone and called E Chin. She shared with me her similar working experiences similar to mines. She encouraged me to face it and solve it. And, that is the way Heavenly Father probably wants me to learn. I did ask E Chin to pray for me to go through this time patiently and humbly.

After listening to what she was trying to say, suddenly everything is so deeply relevant and applicable to me right now, especially after this week's Institute lesson studying Savior's example of completing His Atonement or mission on earth.

For this week's Institute lesson, we are studying about The Sacrament and Jesus Christ's Atonement. We are required to identify something in our life that is difficult to endure or that we are fear we may not be able to endure. Also, to identify ways in which the Savior's example of completing His Atonement can help us endure to the end.

There are something I learn from how the Savior's example of completing His atonement:

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Firstly, the Savior's unconditional love for Heavenly Father and devotion to Him. During His suffering in Gethsemane and the events after which would lead to His Crucifixion, He could have fled or defended Himself.

Instead of withdrawing from the painful events before Him, He went towards Judas and the multitude and took the disciples with Him. He could have destroyed His enemies but instead allowed them to arrest Him. He could confound His enemies verbally, but he supplied the evidence against Him they sought during the trials. He could have called upon legions of angels to defend Him, yet He chose not to do so.

Jesus Christ was willing to submit to His Father's will, and he willingly submitted to the betrayal, arrest, and trials leading to His Crucifixion. He knew that these events were part of Heavenly Father's plan for Him. Jesus Christ is humbly submissive to it.

Secondly, Jesus Christ endures well. He knew it was not easy at all for Him to go through His mission on earth. He is being obedient and still, served, healed, comforted to all during His ministry on earth with His Christlike Attributes - humility, diligence, obedience, patience, charity and love, virtue, knowledge, and hope. All these are Jesus Christ's characteristics, but I believe that He developed them throughout the years from young to adulthood. It is the same as I am. I can learn and grow to be more like Him.

Frankly, it is indeed challenging for me to go through this challenging time of mine. It is undoubtedly the most stupid, careless mistake that I have ever made in my working life. I have to face it and go through it. I will and need to pray to Heavenly Father to give me the strength and wisdom to turn this challenging time, hopefully not a painful learning experience for me and most seriously affect my company.

"Jesus chose not to be released from this world until He had endured to the end and completed the mission He had been sent to accomplish for mankind. Upon the cross of Calvary, Jesus commended His spirit to His Father with a simple statement, 'It is finished (John 19:30 (Links to an external site.)). Having endured to the end, He was released from mortality.

"We, too, must endure to the end" (Robert D. Hales, The Covenant of Baptism: To Be in the Kingdom and of the Kingdom (Links to an external site.), Ensign, Nov. 2000, 6).

And now I think this is that moment that it is so difficult for me to endure. Today I suddenly realized that ever since the start of the Christlike attribute journal project for the institute for this semester, I desired and wanted to learn more about humility.

For the past few weeks, the events that had happened seem to give me a real-life first-hand experience to learn to be humble. Especially for these mistakes which I made in my job, indeed requires me to learn to pray to Heavenly Father, be submissive to the Lord's will, and learn how to solve these issues and rely on His wisdom.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

Alma 26:12

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

This week, something happened within our family, and the event affected every one of us. I feel tired and helpless. I feel down and sad and wonder why all these happened. I feel helpless.

I know that only my prayer to Heavenly Father will ease my worries, and I could only get the comfort I need. Like the past few days, a simple prayer to the Father has to break so many times, and I got to remind myself not to stray away and come back to my devotion to Father. I feel useless. That was the feeling I felt on Sunday.

Today I indeed need and rely on the Lord to help me now. I had made huge mistakes in my work. I had missed out on so many quantities in the ongoing project. Some part of it was due to the site condition. Oh! I need the Lord's help on this one! All these mistakes might make me lose my job, and I feel so helpless!

Today, I was in the office doing the calculation and waiting for the final input, and then presented the carpets that I needed to order and talked to my boss over the phone. I know only Heavenly Father can make these vast mistakes pull through so that my company would not delay the overall project, get the penalty and affect the company reputation.

I burst out in tears when I called E Chin. It is like everything happened at the same time! Till I unable to handle it! All the family issues, my work, my study, and my calling. E Chin asked me to pray to Heavenly Father before I do everything and read the scriptures more because the words of God are the only thing that can pull me through this challenging time.

I do not have a choice but to face my own mistakes. I do not put enough attention into the things that had caused this. I just prayed now to seek Heavenly Father's help to smoothen everything from now to the process of opening up with my boss and praying that the purchasing of the needed additional carpets can get smoothen looking at the tight timeline and schedule.

My boss was indeed angry, and I was trembling when I talked to him. I still need to go to the site tomorrow morning to double-check the stock quantity to finalize the order quantity.

I never realized that the scriptures I wanted to focus on had given me a real personal lesson on how I need to rely on the Lord for help. I had slacked a lot on my daily prayers and scriptures study. E Chin reminded me that I had lost my focus on my ways, and it opened up for the adversaries to attack me.

My foundation of faith is not strong enough, and I keep on shaken whenever the trials come. My faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is not strong enough for me to stand on my own.

According to E Chin's advice, I prayed all day in everything I did today at the office. The amendment of my mistakes is not complete yet, and I still have tomorrow to work on and prayerfully to sort out by the end of tomorrow.

It had come to an end of a day for me to go home with peace of mind and comfort heart. I know it is the comfort and grace and mercy that the Lord gives me, even though I had made a colossal mistake. I know that only the Lord can pull me through in this whole mess that I made. I am grateful for the peace and comfort the Lord give. I am grateful for His love for me.

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The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Looking Inside: Recognize, Confess and Forsake Our Sins

Mosiah 26:29-30

29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

30 Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

Doctrine & Covenants 58:43

43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.

"Repentance is more than simply acknowledging wrongdoings. It is a change of mind and heart. It includes turning away from sin and turning to God for forgiveness. It is motivated by love for God and the sincere desire to obey His commandments" (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2011], 28).

To repent, we must confess and forsake our sins. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

"Confessing and forsaking are powerful concepts. They are much more than a casual 'I admit it; I'm sorry.' Confession is a deep, sometimes agonizing acknowledgment of error and offense to God and man" ("The Divine Gift of Repentance," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2011, 40).

If we confess our sins before the priesthood leader and the Lord, the two different people need to grant forgiveness. If we confess our sins and repent in the sincerity of our hearts, then we will be forgiven.

Bishops and branch presidents hold priesthood keys to help those who have sinned seek forgiveness. While only the Lord can forgive sins, priesthood leaders play a supporting role in assisting people to receive that forgiveness. They keep all confessions confidential and help those who confess throughout the process of repentance.

As often as we repent, the Lord will forgive us. This principle comforts someone who is struggling with a particular sin. It is wrong to use this truth to justify the attitude that says, "It doesn't matter if I sin because I can always repent." This attitude mocks the suffering and price paid by the Savior to atone for our sins.

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I feel as this week's scriptures relate to them and this week's lesson of forgiving someone, but this scripture is how I can recognize my sins and seek the Lord's forgiveness. It is about forgiving others.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Looking Inside: Choose Not to be Offended… to be continued

88 And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.

The Lord's instructions for us when someone has offended us is to reconcile with them privately. Reconcile means resolving differences and restore harmony.

I feel this week this scripture verse indeed suits me for what I had been through for the past week. I still not yet go to work officially. Our office is still working from the home method. It is not working from home for me because it requires me to go to job sites or deliver samples to my boss's client's office.

Physically, I can say that the nature of the job would make me exposed more to the Covid-19 viruses. My pay is still half-month of the original salary, and the company allows me to claim on a mileage basis on each trip or job site that requires me to go. The company still would not pay my EPF contributions, and I am classified as a contract worker if this goes on.

I feel this is unjust for me, and my heart is not satisfied with my current job conditions. I still have monthly commitments that I need to fulfil, such as home loan, vehicle hire purchase loan, monthly medical card insurance payments for myself and my kids, monthly allowance to my father and his insurance.

With the half-month pay that I am getting now, it is nice to cover all those monthly commitments but not enough for my daily expenses, such as extra food or staple that I will buy for the family. I had already withdrawn from my EPF accounts some of the monies I can draw, and it comes to an end soon, especially at the end of this year.

I feel insecure at all. I just wondered why my income has been getting lower and lower over the years?

This past week, my boss asked me to do this and that at the very last minute. I need to take Issac to Sri Emas International School to take his IGCSE ESL exam. The next day, I need to bring him to Management and Science University to take his second dose of Pfizer Covid-19 vaccination.

I felt so pressured because everything came in at one time, and I needed to attend to my boss's given assignments at the same time. I heard and looked at everyone already went to the office and worked like normal, but not my office. I feel being mistreated. I felt uneasy when talked to my boss over the phone listening to his inpatient voice tone, as I am not doing my job even with my work from home pays, and it made me feel hurt and uncomfortable at all.

Then, this week Christlike Attributes Journal's plan came into my mind about the one thing that I want to focus on this week - choose not to be offended.

Elder David A. Bednar 2006 General Conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them” came into my mind,

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected… However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

"As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

I never thought that chooses not to be offended part of being humble. We are humble when we acknowledge our weaknesses and decide not to be offended by someone's words or behaviour.

I love the story quoted by Elder Bednar in the Book of Mormon, about a time when both Captain Moroni and the chief judge Pahoran were corresponding amid warfare. Captain Moroni accused Pahoran of being thoughtless, lazy, and neglected for not supporting the armies in the frontline.

"Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, "Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart" (Alma 61:2, 9)."

The following words from Elder Bednar indeed woke me up and reminded me that I did not act in a manner consistent with my specific Christlike attribute, which is being humble.

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, "it mattereth not."

I can choose to say to myself, "It mattereth not." Most importantly, I should not take things grudges into my heart, but listen and do as what Elder Bednar counselled,

"If a person says or does something that we consider offensive, our first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly, and directly with that individual. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood."

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What a counsel! I am grateful for the inspirations that just came right in time!

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Looking Inside: Now is the time for me to… Grow in Humility

In this week, our weekly Institute application is to write and complete the following sentence: "Now is the time for me to…" with one way we will act on being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Our assignment is to pay particular attention to the first thing that comes to our mind since this may be a prompting from the Holy Ghost.

When I saw this assignment, I immediately thought of the Christlike Attribute Journal that I wanted to focus on humility, which is one of the Christlike attributes. Besides that, we have to be specific about what I need to do to increase my discipleship in this area: Humility.

I wrote about this earlier at the beginning weeks while starting my Christlike Attributes Journal, and I wrote down my planning and places to focus on and follow through for this entire semester. There are a lot of habits that I need to break and relationships that need to change, especially my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

"The first step on the path of discipleship begins, luckily enough, in the exact place where we stand! We do not have to prequalify to take that first step. It doesn’t matter if we are rich or poor. There is no requirement to be educated, eloquent, or intellectual. We do not have to be perfect or well-spoken or even well-mannered.

“You and I can walk in the path of discipleship today. Let us be humble; let us pray to our Father in Heaven with all our heart and express our desire to draw close to Him and learn of Him.

“Have faith. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened [see Matthew 7:7 (Links to an external site.)]. Serve the Lord by serving others. Become an active participant in your ward or branch. Strengthen your family by committing to live the principles of the gospel. Be of one heart and of one mind in your marriage and in your family.

“Now is the time to adjust your lives to be able to have a temple recommend and use it. Now is the time to have meaningful family home evenings, to read the word of God, and to speak to our Heavenly Father in earnest prayer. Now is the time to fill our hearts with gratitude for the Restoration of His Church, for living prophets, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood power that blesses our lives. Now is the time to embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, become His disciples, and walk in His way” (Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles The Way of the Disciple (Links to an external site.), Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 75–78.)

I was supposed to focus on this week: praying to Father to help me grow in humility. I realized that I have difficulties in praying to the Father. When I started to pray, my mind was constantly filled with so many 'To-Do Lists' reminding me I needed to do and follow-up.

Sometimes, thoughts would slip into my mind while praying, and my mind would begin to wander around. Most of the time, my prayer would not be complete in Jesus's name. This situation indeed disturbs me for quite some time, yet I do not find a better solution or determination to address this issue.

"Nets are generally defined as devices for capturing something. In a … more important sense, we might define a net as anything that entices or prevents us from following the call of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God.

“Nets in this context can be our work, our hobbies, our pleasures, and, above all else, our temptations and sins. In short, a net can be anything that pulls us away from our relationship with our Heavenly Father or from His restored Church. …

“It is impossible to list the many nets that can ensnare us and keep us from following the Savior. But if we are sincere in our desire to follow Him, we must straightway leave the world’s entangling nets and follow Him.

“… Our lives are so easily filled with appointments, meetings, and tasks. It is so easy to get caught in a multitude of nets that sometimes even a suggestion of breaking free of them can be threatening and even frightening to us.

“Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are—as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don’t matter.

“That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance—that is essential” (Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Follow Me (Links to an external site.), Ensign, May 2002, 15–16).

After learning and studying the truths I learned about discipleship this week from the scriptures, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It is time for me to address this so that I can increase my discipleship in this. Prayer is fundamental in getting to know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I expressed my concern to Issac and sought his opinion and advice. He paused and thought for a while. He suggested that I think of Jesus Christ or remember His face when I pray. That was preciously the thought that came into my mind when I pondered how can I improve this problem of mine.

The other thing that came into my mind is President Russell M. Nelson's counsel on the revelation.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith set a pattern for us to follow in resolving our questions. Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom, we may ask of God,8 the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. He sought personal revelation, and his seeking opened this last dispensation.

In like manner, what will your seek open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will "grow into the principle of revelation." 9

Another thought that came into my mind is that I need to write down before I pray. Think about the things I need or want to pray for or things that I am thankful for. Writing all these down to help me remember and focus on the concerns that I want to communicate with Father. I think I should practice to incorporate all these more fully in my prayer.

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  • My prayers are earnest and sincere (see Enos 1:4).

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Looking Inside: Grow in Humility… to be continued

Helaman 3:33-35

33 And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church—not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God—

34 And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.

35 Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

I feel as it is so coincident that I would say. I prepared and studied for Institute Lesson 3, which the lesson just uploaded the other day. Usually, I would start to do the reading assignments in MyInstitute App. We were learning about Jehovah's Premortal Life.

There is a conference talk by Elder Richard G. Scott (1928-2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles titled, "Jesus Christ, Our Redeemer." He was bearing his witness about Jesus Christ, and in the conclusion of the talk, he left with these phrases:

"Oh, how grateful we must be for the Atonement wrought by our Redeemer, Jesus Christ! It gives life richness and joy when we live the pattern described in this scripture:

They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

These scripture verses are precisely the same as the above that I wanted to focus on this week. I feel that I did not pray much as often as last time. Thus the first thing I want to focus on is to pray to help me grow humility.

As we fast and pray and yield our hearts to God, He will cause our faith in Jesus Christ to increase and sanctify our hearts despite the hurtful behavior of others.

When I am humble and have faith in Jesus Christ, He will make my weak things strong. These are the promised blessings that came when I learned to be humble, as last week, the scripture study regards the blessings that I would receive.

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I always have difficulties in finding the same time, same place, and pray to Heavenly Father. My heart and mind are so occupied with so many things in my daily life.

Setting a goal to pray is not new to me, but every time I could not keep the plan, I made and did it. The same as exercise goal, too, sadly.

Oh.., how I wish I have the determination and means to come closer to the Savior!

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand

Apart from our family conversation story, the first miracle story of looking for our home now is another testimony of recognizing the Lord's hand in my life too.

Can you imagine this home of ours? I bought it through 'auction'? And my girlfriend and I, with no experience at all, went to the auction and managed to auction it down?

I was seriously looking for a new house after learning that Alvin had already purchased a place of his own. It was kind of devastating news to know at that time. The reason being was we had been staying in our USJ1 home for quite some time. It is a low-cost flat. Its location, amenities, and accessibility to the highways and main roads are excellent. Just the environment itself is not so ideal.

Due to it is cheaper in rental, thus attracts most of the foreign workers stay here. The residents here mainly are from a little bit lower than the middle-income class. There are always motorbikes and cars racing in the middle of the night and considered the environment is a bit not so safe nor ideal to raise the children under such environment.

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I always dreamed of moving out of this place and getting a better place for the children's sack. This dream does not come true. I feel so hurt and determined that I should look for a better house with a better environment for both children and myself. Thus, the search and hunt for a new house started.

Firstly, I was looking at Subang Jaya and USJ areas as we lived here for quite some time. Sadly, the properties prices here were so high. I was unable to find something within my budget. One requirement that I was looking for is an apartment unit that comes with a swimming pool facility. Both Issac and Annabelle love swimming and play water.

One day I was sitting in front of the computer. I was surfing the internet, as usual, to look for a property. I expanded my search area to the Puchong area, which is just next to USJ. I felt prompted to type in some keywords such as "swimming pool condominium Puchong."

Surprisingly, the images amazed me as I could see a mini Sunway Lagoon swimming pool in one of the search results, and I quickly clicked in to check where the location of the apartment. It is Desa Idaman Residence at Puchong. It is love at first sight! I scrolled through the property website and immediately loved its resort's style and the feel of home it portrays.

Getting to buy a unit in Desa Idaman Puchong had immediately become my goal. I always checked the website if there was a sale from the owner that wanted to let go. After a week or two, I came across a proclamation of sale advertised on the iProperty.com.my website.

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After enquiring from the relevant property agent, I got the necessary documents and started doing my homework on the unit I wanted to bid. I went to the property management office to check the outstanding maintenance fees and utility bills, at least get to know how much total monies I need to take out and payout first before the bank reimburses back. Jessie helped me to check if the property had been caveat.

I checked and searched for the existing owner's lifestyle on his Facebook account through checking from his photos how are the conditions of his house are like because we were not able to go in and view. Jessie accompanied me go to the apartment to check the surrounding environment of the apartment.

Till the auction day came, I went to the bank to buy a banker's cheque for the 10% deposit for the value of the auction's property. Jessie and I went for our first-ever property auction. It was indeed quite an extraordinary experience for both of us. It is not like you would go for an auction every time and so frequently unless you work in a company related to it.  There was another interested buyer as well that bid together with us.

Finally, we managed to bid on the apartment unit. Even though I felt it was a bit more than what I expected, I needed to top up the additional monies to the surplus of the 10% deposit of the auctioned price. The required amount was precisely the amount I had for my children's ang pows' monies in my purse. That morning, I was prompted to take along their 'ang pows' monies in my purse as a 'good luck' sign. I felt so blessed for that instant. It is like fated to get this unit.

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When I looked for the locksmith to change the locksets of the house, and the first time I walked into the home, the house was all nicely done up. The previous owner had the entire house done up with a lovely plaster ceiling. The unit has a grille door at the unit's main entrance and the yard area, together with all windows in the bedrooms and living room. The air-conditioner points and lighting points were there, without the fittings of course. The previous owner did most of the renovation in the house in good condition, including bathrooms with nice vanity tops. All I needed to do is to install the kitchen cabinets, wardrobes for all the bedrooms, painting, lightings, and air-conditioners only.

I was so stunned then, and I knew it was God's gift!

  • I am sincerely grateful for the blessings I have received from the Lord (see Alma 7:23).

Alma 7:23

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

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Looking back, it was indeed the Lord’s hand in this most important event that happened in my life, that I got to purchase the dream home I wanted and desired. Sometimes I wonder who am I and how I deserve so much from God? I am indeed grateful when I can see how the Lord shaped my life and His arrangements in my family and my life.

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand…to be continued

After joining the Church, I began to look back and see how the Lord's hand was in my life. I always remember my conversion story the most, and I love to testify how Lord's handcrafted in my life and my family's.

Alvin and I were divorced before. I still remember the night vividly after I put down my phone talked to him. I was so devastated and just looked up and shouted to God and asked Him if He exists, bring my family back together as a whole to me.

That was the first time I prayed to God in Jesus's name. I just told Him that I surrender everything to Him and let Him guide me through, and at that moment, I thought I needed the strength and someone to tell me what to do next. Of course, I wanted my husband back, but I just let God lead me at that moment. If we are fated back together, then it's God's will.

From that first night prayer onward, God started to do His miracles on my and Alvin's paths. There were nights I prayed to God that I would walk into His church one day, but it is not me alone. I will walk in His Church together with my family as a whole. But so many churches? I was thinking in my heart, which one?

It was never an easy process for Alvin and me to get back together, and we were still quarrelling along the way. At some point in time, I felt I wanted to give up. Some thoughts came to mind that "you should do this," which asked me to concentrate on both children, work on my self-reliance, and look for a home for the children and me. I was ignoring those thoughts, and things got worse. Eventually, I just followed the promptings, and things started to get better.

Sister Joyce and brother Felix invited us to their Church when they knew we were looking for Church and going to Church. I remember I talked to God, and I wanted to go to His Church. Our family did attend a few churches before, but we felt that something was missing, but we couldn't tell what that was until we came to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

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That was my first prayer to Him that, asked Him please to bring back my family again. I was praying to Him that I wanted to go to His Church. When the day our family was baptized, and I looked back, it was Lord's hand in every single detail of my path and Alvin's path. These two different paths finally joined back together in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I want to testify that it is Jesus Christ who led us to His Church and it is His merciful hand that had rescue our broken family. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s Church that had been restored on the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith. I share all these in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand… to be continued

  • Recognize the Lord’s hand in all things (see D&C 59:21).

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21

21 And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

This scripture teaches that we offend God when we do not express our thankfulness to Him and keep His commandments. The offense and wrath of God described in verse 21 are evidence of His love for us. God is displeased when we are ungrateful or disobedient because these attitudes distance us from Him.

I read the other day some quotes from Elder Robert D. Hales about gratitude:

"Gratitude is a state of appreciation, an act of thanksgiving, which causes us to be humble because we recognize an act of kindness, service, or caring from someone else which lifts us and strengthens us."

I understand now why being grateful is one of the ways we learn to be humble and why recognizing the Lord's hand in all things is a way of developing humility.

Elder Hales further quoted from the scripture:

"Gratitude is a divine principle”

  "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things" (D&C 59:7)." 

He taught that this scripture means expressing gratitude to God for everything that happens in our lives. It is not only for the good things in life but for the opposition and challenges of life that add to our experience and faith. It means we put our lives in His hands, realizing that all that transpires will be for our benefits and experiences.

It was indeed the Lord's hand in every single detail in my life when I started to look back:

The Lord was there when I cried out to Him to bring my family back together to me;

The Lord was the one who did the miracles on my path and Alvin's path;

The Lord was the one who led me to find and purchased a home for my small family;

He was the one who led our family to get baptized into His Church, and we were able to seal in the Cebu temple for all time and eternity;

He was there in every most important or trial that I faced;

The Lord was there when both Issac and Annabelle were missing in the busy streets of Hong Kong Tsim Sha Tsui to guide them back to the temple ground;

The Lord orchestrated the subsequent events that happened after our Hong Kong temple trip, which eventually I only knew later.

I always wanted to write every single life experience that the Lord's hand in my life. I sometimes feel as those were the moments that would keep reminding me to remember Him whenever I wanted to give up, or even the peace and comfort that He is with me all the time and I am not alone at all.

I think this is the week to recall those beautiful memories and observe them in the present to recognize them now and then.

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The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Looking Inside: Submissive to the Lord’s Will… to be continued

We did have a great time last Thursday evening about the 2nd week of our PathwayConnect's gathering. We were enjoying the sharing of both Elder and Sister Liew their carer exploration experiences. Almost the end of our gathering, we talked a bit about the assignments we were doing last week about the Certificate Planning and the Value of Degree.

Sister Juneffer shared her thoughts on selecting the first certificate that she could not find her interest subjects, and it was so hard. I nodded my head and agreed on what she has to share. I found out that it is not only me alone having the same thought.

Eventually, last Friday, after discussing this particular assignment on our group chat, brother Clearance just WhatsApp a message to all of us from his instructor. It seems as the BYU Pathway Portal of the Interest Survey was experiencing some issues and not working correctly. Thus, BYU Pathway excuses this week's application activity for the Certificate Planning and Value of a Degree assignment. Both Juneffer and I were so happy and thankful for brother Clearance for letting us know this exciting news!

I recalled last Thursday night before sleep, and I prayed for Heavenly Father to thank Him for Issac managed to get the vaccination, even though Annabelle was not allowed.

I then gave a specific prayer that I would submit to the Lord's will if choosing the certificate was a test of the Lord's will. I repented all my earlier unfriendly thoughts and let Him know that it was ok for me to do the Lord's will. I did take some time to pray about this.

I am not sure if this is an answer to the prayer, or I rather see this as a lesson that heavenly Father wants me to learn. Learn to be humble and be submissive to His will. I received the email from my course instructor about the same issues as what brother Clearance told us.

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Today I noticed that the Interest Survey in the Student Portal has back to normal. After I did the new interest survey, the result popped out, and indeed, I can see more certificate options that I can choose.

Now, it seems that I have a brand new problem. After I saw the top four interests that might suit me, I had to consider the marketability of these subjects. I am asking myself if I want to change my career or my job now, and it is a 'No' at this point because jobs are difficult to find anywhere now during this pandemic.

The peace and comfort I experienced during the last few weeks of careful consideration and thoughts about the Bachelor Degree of Applied Health interest me in getting to know more about this knowledge that can help others in need.

The marketability of this subject is more significant than Marriage and Family Studies. It gave me a new perspective and favoured either Fundamentals of Medical Coding or Community Health Planning and Implementation, which I think is good.

Studying Marriage, Family, and Human Relations is never a popular subject to take, and in the marketability wise, it is not so popular. I am thinking of all this BYU PathwayConnect has started for me because of the Marriage, Family, and Human Relations Certificate that I wanted to study. It motivated me to enrol in the PathwayConnect program.

I wanted to learn more because of my own family and the experiences that I had gone through. I thought that there must be something that I managed to learn and pick up to improve my marriage and my relationship with others. An enrichment for me at the same time, I can earn a degree and, who knows, might help someone later in life.

Issac told me that, “Do I ask you to wait a little longer? Be patience in His timing. Now it is great after all!” I told him how I felt about this lesson of being humble and relates to the Humility project which I am working on. Issac nodded his head and agree that sometimes God does things in His different ways.

I need to carefully think and pray about these two subjects that I want to take for my next semester course. Overall, I am grateful for this unusual experience when trying to learn to submit my will to the Lord's will. This learning experience is just a start, and I will know more throughout this semester and in my life.

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The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Looking Inside: Submissive to the Lord’s will… to be continued

3 Nephi 11:11

And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.

Moroni 10:32

32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

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These past few weeks were not easy for me. All these feelings of uneasiness started after I did the interest survey in the academic planning in the BYU-Pathway Student Portal. We will take the first course of our first certificate during PathwayConnect.

After we finish PathwayConnect, we will take 3–4 more courses to complete your first certificate. But it seems like we have only five certificate choices that we can choose from, namely Technical Support Engineer Certificate, Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate, Hospitality and Tourism Management Certificate, Project Management Certificate, and Basic Accounting Certificate.

It does not have the Marriage, Family, and Human Relations Certificate that I desire, which motivated me to enroll in the PathwayConnect program. It is unsettling for me, and it feels as it defeats the purpose why I register to pursue an education again. It is kind of hard to accept the fact like this.

I am wondering, for these past weeks, a big WHY? Why could I not get what I wanted? And it is just as simple as taking the course that I wish to? I am wondering if this is the will of the Lord that I should study other than Marriage and Family Studies. It is really to accept the fact as it is. I had expressed my disappointment to Issac and Alvin on the limited choices of certificate courses that I could take.

Out of the five mentioned above, I am more comfortable with either a Project Management Certificate or Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate. I prefer Project Management Certificate is because this is what I am currently doing in my job. Maybe a certificate is good for me as I have worked without a certificate or diploma for so many years. But it alone could not form a Bachelor Degree of something that specializes in, wither Bachelor Degree of Applied Business with stack together with another Business & Leadership Skills Certificate and Business Administration certificate.

Another option would be a Bachelor's Degree in Professional Studies which can choose another two certificates, including the Marriage and Family Studies certificate. I feel unsettled, and it seems like not have a complete Bachelor's Degree in Marriage and Family Studies. It has other certifications such as Human Services Certificate, Parent and Family Education Certificate, and Child and Family Advocacy Certificate for the final year, which I would not be able to include in the degree then.

I have been thinking about these two options past few days, and I am finding some peace when I research more on the details course of the Fundamentals of Medical Coding certificate. It is a brand new subject for me, but somehow I do not feel any unfamiliar because it studies the human body, and it is kind of related to what I learned in Biology during my SPM days.

I asked Issac what his opinion is if he is in my current situation now. After listening to what I had to tell him, he suggested that maybe this Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate might be a good one for me, and I could perhaps try something new. He advised me to pray about it.

I sought Alvin's advice, he too, said that this course might be the one for me because of the things that I desired why I chose Marriage and Family Studies, whereby this would be the closest that match my intention of studying again.

Indeed I am feeling good, peace, and comfort in choosing the Fundamentals of Medical Certificate. I think that this will be a test of submissive to the will of the Lord? Earlier this month, I just said to myself that I am not the type of person that submits to the will of the Lord. It is tough for me, and I guess this is a good moment and time to do that. Suppose now might not be the best time to study that subject I wanted.

There must be some reasons that I do not know off, but I am OK with it if the Lord knows. The Lord knows the best what is lying ahead of me, and I can accept this peacefully. I am not sure, but if this is the case, tonight I shall give a prayer to Heavenly Father to repent of my earlier unfriendly thoughts and let Him know that I feel alright to accept the things that He is giving me, and I will strive to study sound and achieve the best marks that I can.

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  • I try to accept the Lord’s will, whatever it may be (see Mosiah 24:15).

Mosiah 24:15

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.