Extraordinary Daughters of God #8

How I Learn to Love Others through Him ?

~ Sister Robinia Tan

"We can change our behavior. Our very desires can change.

How?

There is only one way.

True change—permanent change—can come only through the healing, cleansing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

He loves you—each of you!

He allows you to access His power as you keep His commandments, eagerly, earnestly, and exactly. It is that simple and certain.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of change!"

Sister Robinia Tan shares with us her testimony how she learns to love others through Jesus Christ's example.

Please do come in and listen what she would like to share with you, how the gospel of Jesus Christ change the way she sees others and love others.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #7

How Do I #HearHim?

~ Sister E Chin Yong E Chin

"In both ancient and modern times, God introduced His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, and invited those seeking direction to “hear Him” (Matthew 17:5). In 1820, a young man’s willingness to follow that invitation ultimately led to the Restoration of Christ’s Church on the earth (see Joseph Smith—History 1:17). Two hundred years later, the invitation to hear Him is given to each of us."

"When we take time to listen with our hearts, the heavens open and He speaks. Jesus taught that He is “the light of the world” and those who follow Him “shall not walk in darkness” (John 8:12)."

"God still speaks today, and the joyful call remains to hear Him. As you listen to Jesus Christ, you will feel His love for you. As you #HearHim and act on what you hear, you will feel the joy and fulfillment His words bring to all who seek Him."

By listening and hearken to the invitation extended by our prophet, Sister Yong E Chin reflected and share with us how she hear Him through prayers, reading the scriptures and slowing down listen to the hymns.

Please do come in and listen what she would like to share with you, the joy that she experienced in her journey to #HearHim.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #6

The Importance of the Home & The Family

~ Sister Amy Lee Lim

What Does Home Mean to You?

What is the "Family" in Your Mind?

In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the centre of our lives and the top of our priorities. The Family is ordained of God. Families lie at the centre of our Heavenly Father’s plan.

This statement from “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declares the responsibilities of parents to their families:

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

With this belief in mind, Sister Amy came to know about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in one occasion. She learned about the restored gospel and the Church teachings humbly, working hard in ensuring her home is a safe and warm place that her family can go to, no matter what circumstances happened.

Please do come in and listen what she would like to share with you.

May it be our resolve this year to build a gospel-centred home, a safe harbour from the storms of the adversary. 

神非凡的女儿 #6

家與家庭的重要 。永恆的家庭

~ 林李鳳珠 姐妹

家, 对您有什么意义?

您心目中的家庭,又是什麼模样的？

在這動盪不安的世界，我們從未如此需要將家庭視為生活的中心，並將之置於一切事物之首

家庭是神所制定。

家庭是天父計畫的中心。

「家庭：致全世界文告」中的一番話，闡明了父母對家庭的責任：

「夫妻肩負神聖的責任要彼此相愛、彼此照顧，也要愛護和照顧他們的兒女。『兒女是耶和華所賜的產業』（詩篇127：3）。父母有神聖的職責，要在愛與正義中教養兒女，提供他們屬世和屬靈所需要的，教導他們彼此相愛、彼此服務、遵守神的誡命，並且不論住在何處，都要做一個守法的國民。丈夫和妻子──母親和父親──將在神前為履行這些義務負責。」

凭着对这个信念，林李鳳珠姐妹接触与认识了耶稣基督后期圣徒教会，她谦卑与虚心的学习，努力履行家庭責任的同時，讓自己的家成為温煖，安全和家人躲避暴風雨的避難所。

請務必進來，聽聽她想與您分享的內容与见证。

但願今年我們能下定決心，建立一個以福音為中心的家庭、一個安全港灣，能抵擋敵對勢力的暴風雨。

Extraordinary Daughters of God #5

The Plan of Salvation & The Eternal Family

~ Sister Ritcher Ng Guat Yong Tan

What Does God's Love Mean?

What Is the Purpose of Life?

Why Am I Here?

What Happens When I Die?

Will I Meet My Family Again?

How Can I Find the Answers?

If you've ever had questions about God, sometimes the best way to find answers is with a little help. That was what happened to Sister Ritcher Tan.

Sister Ritcher joined the Church in the year 1986. Currently she is a teacher teaching at a Private School. She has 3 sons including 2 had served missions in Taiwan and Australia.

Please do come in and listen to what she would like to share with you about her journey finding the answers to her questions.

You are most welcome to request from us a free personalized study session from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #4

I am a Mother

~ Sister Benjarin K Tan

Elder L. Tom Perry taught, “Motherhood is the noblest and greatest of all callings.”

"While not all women have the opportunity to be a mother, God does entrust all women with the divine responsibility of mothering, nurturing, and guiding his children. You are not alone in this divine role. You are partnered with Him, our all-knowing and loving Heavenly Father."

"God is not only there to hear and answer your prayers when you call upon Him for help; He is continually blessing you as you do this hard and important work. He is ready to help you become an even better, stronger woman, wife, and mother."

Sister Benjarin K. Tan or Sister Beam grows in the Church. She graduated from BYU Hawaii where she met her eternal companion, and now she stays in Malaysia.

She is an online English Tutor. She has a cute son and is expecting her 2nd child. Currently she serves as Young Single Adults Advisor, Primary teacher and Pianist in the Church.

Please do come in and listen to what she would like to share with you about her motherhood journey relying on God's strength.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #3

How You Have Been Benefited or Grow from the Church Program ~ Food Storage?

~ Sister Peggy W. Snelson

What is Food Storage?

“We encourage members worldwide to prepare for adversity in life by having a basic supply of food and water and some money in savings. We ask that you be wise, and do not go to extremes. With careful planning, you can, over time, establish a home storage supply and a financial reserve.”

Sister Peggy Wong has a strong testimony of the Church teaching or Program, namely Food Storage. It has help her and her family, especially during this Covid-19 pandemic time.

Please do come in and listen to what she would like to share with you.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #2

How Faith in Jesus Christ Help You during this Covid-19 Challenging Time?

~ Sister Jaxlyna A. Umpii

The Covid-19 pandemic, which plagues the entire world, has a huge impact on people who lose their jobs and suffer business losses.

Sister Jaxlyna has her own unique experience through it, "... It turns out that everything that happened throughout the MCO (Movement Control Order) has helped me a lot and taught me patience, values ​​family members, and more. And I'm really grateful that this happened ..."

Please do come in and listen to what she would like to share with you.

Puteri Tuhan yang Luar Biasa #2

Kesaksian Iman ke atas Yesus Kristus di sepanjang Musim Pandemic Covid-19

~ Sister Jaxlyna A. Umpii

Pandemic Covid-19 yang melanda di seluruh dunia, termasuk Malaysia, memberi kesan besar kepada orang yang kehilangan pekerjaan dan mengalami kerugian perniagaan.

Sister Jaxlyna mempunyai pengalaman yang unik, "... Ternyata semua yang berlaku di sepanjang PKP (Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan) ini telah banyak membantu saya dan mengajar saya erti kesabaran, lebih menghargai ahli keluarga, dan banyak lagi. Dan saya sangat-sangat bersyukur semua ini berlaku..."

Sila datang dan dengarkan apa yang dia ingin berkongsi bersama anda.

Extraordinary Daughters of God #1

How Faith in Jesus Christ Help You during this Covid-19 Challenging Time?

~ Sister Saffron Yau Tan

It is interesting to let you know that Sister Saffron recorded this video during her 16 days of quarantine in one of the hotel in Putrajaya.

Please do come in and listen to what she would like to share with you.

神非凡的女儿 #1

在全球新冠狀病毒疫情蔓延的時期，如何對基督堅定不移？

~ 陈姚花圣 姐妹

有趣的是，陈姚花圣姐妹在Putrajaya的一家旅館中隔離16天期间，錄製了這段視頻。
請務必進來，聽聽她想與您分享的內容与见证。

Youth Testimony - Sis Annabelle Yu 31 May 2020

Here is Annabelle’s testimony about the new skill that she developed during the Movement Control Order (MCO) while staying at home.

 

Even though she was not so keen about making this video, but she has trying her best preparing herself to record the whole video down. I am very proud of my daughter as well!

Youth Testimony ~ Bro Issac Yu 31 May 2020

This is the video that we make together for the Puchong Branch Zoom Open House from the Youth. Here is Issac’s, it is about his testimony and what he has learned during the Movement Control Order (MCO) while at home.

 

He shares about how he #HearHim through the music and songs from the Youth Theme. I am so proud of my son!

Chinese New Year Hamper for Me!

This is Chinese New Year Hamper from the office. Jessie asked Sharon and me took back home. Due to the office collegues know that I do not take coffee, tea and liquor, thus I took this hamper back. And, I am so happy with that! Share with my family!

Pick Up My Live Writer Again…

It’s been almost 2 weeks that I try my very best not to write any more. It is really hurt when I started to write and have to reveal my pains, and the scar in the heart. It is something like using a sharp knife, keep on digging my unhealed wound in my heart.

Till I saw Esiang’s post on his Facebook’s wall today. It is actually more on a letter which a young guy wrote to himself, after a 2 years backpacking life abroad, far away from his homeland, living alone, working and experienced a different life.

The first thing he wrote to himself, is keep on writing his diary or a journal. We will forgot someday…the things that we are writing now, at the very moment now, it is really hard and difficult, especially when you are going thru the hard and tough time, with the emotions.

Someday, in the near future, you will be forgotten all those things which happened to you, and your sanity will make it clearer for you. But, all those that you had been went thru is your life. And, your journal will keep you ‘awake’ that, do not be forgetful, as all the moments you went thru, had make up a very ‘unique’ you, and a mirror which reflect you…

That’s is why I pick up my Live Writer again…or more appropriate is my Life Writer…

             *****                    *****                 *****

写给24岁自己的一封信

 

两年前的我：

 

你好吗？我很好。你现在在幹嘛啊？机票买好了，新电脑准备好了，在更新iTunes裏你的最爱？在学习调好新电话的GPS？还是在努力的找你人生中第一张Couchsurfing沙发？

 

离开时，总有一点不捨得的。大学经济课唯一学到的，是机会成本。任何决定，必有得有失。纽西兰一年的打工度假，最重要的，不是你去过什麽地方，是给了你完整一年的时间做你自己想做，试你自己想试的事。这是只属於你的一年，暂时放下家庭的期许，朋友的比较，事业的方向，失败的压抑，隻身飞到一个全新的国度。在那裡，没有人认识你，没有人知道你的过去，你，可以做一个全新的自己。试一下不同的性格，试一下不同的生活方式，试一下你很想接触的经验，试一下不敢做的事情，试一下隨便认识朋友，试一下踏出你的安全网。这一年，你将开始一字一句的写下你人生一书很重要的一章。2010你的年，一个失败与成长的故事。

 

我还记得，你坐上飞机那一刻的感觉。“真的假的？幹嘛我会在这裡？我疯了吗？”。你没有疯，至少那一刻还没有 :P 这一年裏，你会做出让你意想不到，却难忘一生的事。路，不能说是平平坦坦，但一路走下去，你总会找到一个一个新的方向。

 

不用担心。你只是开始走一条跟大部份人不一样的路。到今天，我也不知道这是对还是错。毕竟，没有前人的脚步，每步前行，都是你自己发现的新道路。

 

谢谢你。这一年，你勇敢的做了这个很重要的决定。

 

走过了这一年多的路，从纽西兰打工度假毕业，请让我在这裡为未来一年提供一些意见:

 

1. 写日记

日复日记录自己的每一刻，真的很辛苦，特別是你心情低落时还要一字一句写下你最糟糕的经历。对你来说，这样花时间重温你的噩梦，肯定不是一件享受的事情。记得吗，你是你人生那本书的作者。今天的低落，只是让故事更好看的一个小结，每个扣人心弦的故事总得有高低起伏。这一年的结局，一直由你那支笔决定。日记，不是写给今天的你。若干年后，你会慢慢变得理性，忘记年轻时的热情，对事情的悸动。今天的你，是未来的你最好的老师。你有责任提醒他们，不要忘记生活的意义，不要忘记朋友的重要，不要忘记要不断学习，不要忘记真诚待人，不要忘记要对工作的热情，不要忘记困难总会过去，不要忘记做你引以为豪的那个自己。

 

2. 每天都拍照

虽说是打工度假，但不是每天都有新鲜有趣的事情。要你拿著单眼500D每天东奔西跑好像又破坏了你浪子不羈的形像 :P 我知道确实有很多时候都没办法把相机带在身上。好好运用你手机的拍照功能吧，一些无聊透顶的物件，点餐的菜谱，工作的排班表，生产线上的生活，厨房的杯杯碟碟，以至你超级市场最爱逛的那一个角落，有空的话，都把它们拍下来。将开你的眼睛，保持永远的好奇心，让你电脑裏每天都有特別的moment。其实，你最爱的照片，往往不是那些令人惊歎的天然美景，而是一张张勾起你生活点滴的小照片。

 

3. 认识更多朋友

一年三百六十五天，每天多交一个朋友，一年后你会成功的把你面书的朋友列大大扩张 :P 假设男女比例平均，你会认识182个女生。根据统计学，正態分佈中总有一两%的突出者，折算最少有两三个高品质的女生合你心意…说笑啦！我觉得，既然你只有一年的时间，也只有一年的体验，那更应该认识多一点朋友。听他们的故事，瞭解他们的经验和生活，多看一点別人写的书，好好学习，对你有百利而无一害。其中一些朋友，他们会成为你未来书中最重要的角色，在你走下去时提供强大的后盾，支持你继续追梦。

 

4. 不以貌取人

纽西兰的自我中心，中国的没教养，台湾的英文很烂，香港的现实势利，马来西亚的说话大声，日本的自成一角，南美的不负责任，没有的。不要以貌取人，不要把你家裏看人的刻板印象带到背包旅行。背包和打工度假给你的，是一个瞭解其他国家文化的好机会。多聆听別人的想法，不强把自己的文化价值观直接套在別人身上。互相尊重彼此的差异，接受新的观点，你会学习到更多。咖啡厅洗碗的阿姨，工厂的拖车司机，餐厅的侍应，他们可以教你的，不比大学裡的教授少。

 

5. 放下自己

打工度假是一个让你放下自己的好机会。一个人身在外地，没有人知道你的过去，没有你强逼你活在他们的期许下。你是你自己，你只爲你自己负责。大部份的打工度假都是穷孩子，手裡拿著差不多的钱（呃，可能你的一千纽币是真的比较少…），站在同一个起跑点上。你会完完整整放下自己，一切归零，没有贫富之差，学历也再不管用，去找什麽工作，过什麽生活，是你的决定。也许，你会怀疑放弃你既有利益的价值，但放下以后，没有了包袱，你才会往前走的更快。

 

6. 活在一个没有不可能的世界

记得，你出发前问过朋友的意见，十居其九都不支持你一年的打工度假，觉得你是时候定下来发展事业。一年过后，我不敢想像失去这一年对你是多大的损失。记得，你尝试，有机会失败。但你不试，永远没有机会成功。每个人在走不一样的路，你可以选择隨著人家走路，过著低风险的一生。或者是尝试自己探索，准备可能的失败，慢慢走一条属於你自己的道路。就一年时间，活在一个没有不可能的世界吧！你有可能失败，有可能跌到，也有可能给自己重新改变的机会。

 

7. 找朋友倾诉

你会遭到挫折，你会遇到不公平的事，你会对你自己很失望，你会感到孤独。我保证，这只是过程中的一部份。多点跟朋友倾诉，跟朋友分享你的想法。他们不一定可以教你做什麽决定，但他们会给你一个拥抱，给你煮一顿饭，给你一块巧克力，给你陪伴。一年过后，你会忘了爲什麽那天这么生气，这么失望，但你会记得每一个朋友送你的小窝心。

 

8. 对人真诚

有天你变成背包的学长，去主动帮助一些刚入学的学弟妹吧！你曾经也有白痴过，也有菜鸟过的时候。我相信的公平，不是拒绝帮一些没有准备，没有爬文的人。我相信的公平，是尽力用你的知识，经验去分享给刚拿起背包的朋友。再告诉他们，那天到他们有能力，也要去帮助新来的朋友。你的经验资讯，是从前辈身上拿到，学到的，这不是你独有的財产。记得真诚帮助有需要的人，把从人家身上学到的经验传承下去，这才是真正的公平。

 

9. 影响身边的人去想多一点，做多一点

拿到打工度假签证是踏出你安全网的第一步。你要想多一点，做多一点，尽力把握每个机会做到最好。你可以让人知道，打工度假不只是在农场工厂工作，打工度假不只是赚钱旅行玩一年，打工度假不是让人逃避现实的避难所。将你梦想的一年实现出来，做到最好，让人知道，这一年的可能性远多於他们心中所想，只要他们勇敢去梦想，勇敢去把梦想实现。

 

10. 做你人生中的作者

你是作者，你决定这一年故事的发展，结局。用笔，用行动写出一个你最喜欢的主角，一个让你自己欣赏，让你自己佩服，让你自己想做的主角。主角是一个拥有强大梦想力，遇见困难不会退缩，不会放弃，一步一步实现梦想的人。只要你真心想要完成一件事，全宇宙的力量都会帮你达成梦想，这是真的。希望从今天开始，你亲手拿起笔，写你自己的故事，做你人生中的作者，让更多人因为你的年，你的故事去做他们自己人生中的作者。

 

我期待你的故事，期待你笔下的主角，让我再一次看到二十四岁的自己想做怎么样的一个人。

 

你问我啊，有后悔两年前的决定吗？没有，真的没有。我可以说，这一年裏一些经验，感受，是我再花上一辈子都值得换回来的。不过，我就先不告诉你那些惊喜是什麽了 我相信，只要你每天聆听自己的心声，保持正面的態度，愿意接受新的挑战，你能做到的，绝对比你想像中的多很多。

 

我很骄傲，有你做了我二十四岁那一年的作者。谢谢你

 

二零一二年五月三日

两年后的你

Women On the Clock

God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

 

One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Sharing : 妈妈的禁忌

Got to read an article sharing by the Tadika Ceria Gembira on facebook today. Hmm…i think i myself have some of the ‘features’ of those unpopular mummies as followings. Hmm…have to change a bit: too strict,and sometimes can’t keep the promises. This is a good one which like to share:

• 只顾自己玩的妈妈

5岁的汤姆说，“我妈妈常常只管自己出去玩，既不顾家，也不顾我。有不少时候她晚上玩得很晚才回家——实际上她回家时我往往已睡着了。我不知道妈妈究竟是不是爱我。”

专家评析：其实这类妈妈称得上是“自私妈妈”，缺乏对孩子的责任感。建议应该投入至少70%的精力和50%的空余时间在才5岁的孩子身上.

• 只想着爸爸的妈妈

还不到3岁的琳达哭着说，“妈妈只有见到爸爸时才眉开眼笑。她总是把最好吃的留给爸爸，而不是留给我。她说我什么都不好，而说爸爸什么都好。我很生气。”　

专家评析：要知道，幼年期的儿童大多十分敏感，常常会把妈妈视作“私有财产”，而不许自己以外的人，甚至包括爸爸“分享”。对这么爱“吃醋”的琳达，妈妈理应有意识地作出种种表现或暗示，让她增加“妈妈确实最爱她”的自信。同时当爸爸的也应大度地适当退出妈妈视线的焦点，以便让宝宝更有安全感。

• 爱体罚的妈妈

5岁的小顽童布尼透露，“只要我淘气，如跟小朋友打架啦，弄脏了衣服啦，在墙上画画啦，妈妈就会罚我站，而且一站就是老半天。一次我用弹弓打破了邻居的玻璃窗，妈妈更是生气，不仅不给我饭吃，还狠狠地拧我的胳膊，直疼得我嗷嗷叫。于是我再也不爱妈妈了，因为我觉得她并不爱我。”

专家评析：体罚可能成功地强迫孩子服从家长的意志，但这一定只是暂时的、局部的，带来的问题远比解决的问题要多得多。因体罚而导致孩子的逆反心理和逆反行为一般在几周后即会显现出来，其中包括：经常撒谎，偷盗，爱欺负弱小同学，难以与小伙伴友好相处，缺乏同情心，不服从教师教导，有时可能极度自卑等等。在2年后则可能发展至斗殴、抢劫、闹事等更为激烈的暴力行为甚至反社会倾向，并增加成为小流氓、小霸王的危险。

• 不尊重我朋友的妈妈

4岁的贝克嘟着嘴说，“妈妈一直不喜欢我周围的小伙伴。她说汤尼说话结巴，彭努长得丑，肖斯脑筋不好使，尼尔嘴又太馋。反正在她嘴里没有一个好的。更让我不快的是，她要求我不跟他们玩，还生怕我被他们‘带坏’。而实际上他们都是既可爱又诚实的好孩子。我为妈妈感到害臊。”

专家评析：妈妈是孩子步入社会最早的引路人，在孩子面前务须注意一言一行！尊重孩子的朋友本身就意味着对孩子的尊重。而让孩子在你以身作则的指引下学会尊重他人，是他宝贵的人生财富。任何孩子都有这样那样的毛病或缺点。就让孩子自由地选择他的朋友吧，不必杞人忧天地担心孩子会被“带坏”。

• 说到做不到的妈妈

5岁的海伦埋怨说，“妈妈总是说话不算数。她曾答应马上给我买一个芭比娃娃，但至今仍没有买。她还保证在外婆生日那天带我上外婆家，但后来又说不去了。还有许许多多事情她都说得到却做不到。最后我已不相信她的话了。这样的妈妈真叫人扫兴！”

专家评议：“说得到做不到”的妈妈缺失的是诚信。诚信并非与生俱来，而是后天培养的。其实，“诚信教育”，往往始于牙牙学语之时，而且贯穿于整个童年时期。在孩子刚刚懂事起就应帮助他们在心中树立起“以诚信为本”。遗憾的是，屡屡“说得到做不到”的妈妈，为孩子提供的恰恰是反面教材，起的负面影响可想而知！

• 过于严厉的妈妈

5岁的丹尼说，“妈妈老说我这也不行那也不行。她说我写的字不端正，画的狗一点也不像，还批评我洗碟子不干净。我真的什么也不行吗？想到这里，我很泄气。”

专家评析：父母的完美主义对孩子心理的最大危害是：渐渐剥夺了他们的自信。要知道，孩子都需要自我肯定，特别对原本就较自卑的孩子来说，自我肯定无疑更为重要。有的孩子之所以变得越来越自卑，正是父母以完美主义的态度作出了过高的要求，由此孩子便可能时时处处被包围在批评、埋怨之中难以自拔，长此下去自信便可能遗憾地丧失殆尽。最后当他每每开始做一件事时，他在潜意识中往往会对自己作出否定，如：我的能力就是比不上人家，我的脑筋就是笨，或我就是不讨别人的喜欢等等。不妨将对孩子的“你洗不干净碟子”改成“你真了不起，才5岁就能洗碟子啦！不过要是你能再多花点时间冲洗，碟子会洗得更干净的”。这么一改，给孩子的心理暗示就完全不一样了。此外要认识到：任何孩子，都不可能是样样都棒的“全才”(其实成人也是如此)。要是你的孩子在绘画方面不如别的孩子，大可不必为此而忧心忡忡，因为他完全有可能在其他方面胜过别的孩子。

• 太肥胖的妈妈

3岁的玛丽哭着说，“妈妈实在太胖了，而且弄得很邋遢。每次她上幼儿园开家长会时，小朋友们都会暗暗地笑话我。我很难过，但又不知怎么办才好。”

专家评析：儿童比成人更看重一个人的外表，对自己最亲爱的母亲自然更是如此。其中的部分原因可能是他们对“心灵美比外貌美更重要”的抽象理论还难以理解。为了自己的健康，也为了“美化”自己在孩子心目中的形象，过于肥胖的母亲应该注意节食、运动和减肥，并关注自己的衣着服饰。

• 不好玩的妈妈

4岁的亚裔孩子阮埋怨说，“我能歌善舞，老师和小朋友都很喜欢我。我还会作画、剪纸、弹琴、捏泥巴，可是妈妈不仅都不会，她还瞧不起我的爱好。妈妈早出晚归，空余时就只知道读书。她还老叮嘱我一定要好好读书，因为只有读好书以后才有出息。其实，我很希望妈妈能够陪我一起玩。我真感到扫兴，为什么我的妈妈这么不好玩？”

专家评析：孩子想从自己最亲近的妈妈那里模仿、了解很多事情，以满足自己天然的好奇心和求知欲；他们更希望能和妈妈拥有相同的兴趣和爱好。如果妈妈对孩子的爱好一窍不通，总是一问三不知，甚至不以为然，孩子自然会感到很失望很沮丧。同时这对孩子早期语言能力的培养和发展也有负面影响。对幼儿来说，完全没有必要强迫他多多读书。其实在阮这样的年龄段，理应通过多玩来发展多方面的兴趣，因为玩实际上也是学习，而且是一种提升智力的极好学习。此外不妨有意识地培养和孩子相同或相似的兴趣爱好，并熟悉孩子特有的心理和语言，尽可能抽时间多和孩子一起玩，和孩子多作语言交流。长此下去，孩子自然会认为你是很“好玩”的.

Source: www.tadikaceriagembira.com

Sharing : 道理要怎么说?

Mummy found another interesting and useful parenting tips from Mummy Ang Lee Siang. Mummy thought this is useful. I would not know both of you still be able retrieve Mummy’s blog or not when you grow up, Mummy keep sharing and writing about both till I am unable…

Actually, this is one of Mummy most concern things as sometimes, we would not know how to explain to you either Mummy doing the right thing or not in telling you some of the Dos and Don’ts in daily life. This is actually of the topics that we had discussed during the Teachers Parents Meeting last week.

道理要怎么说

by Lee Siang Ang on Saturday, 04 December 2010 at 00:22

常听做父母的说：“孩子还小，那懂得这个道理，就别为难孩子了。”

但事实上是否真是如此？到底孩子几岁才算“长大”、才可以说讲道理？

从发展心理角度来看，人从出生就迈入一持续发展的厉程，而促进发展变化有两个要素：一是成熟，指个人生物方面的发展有一定的过程；二是学习，透过学习历程与经验，使我们在思想与行为上产生较为长久的变化。

比如说要成为一个体操选手，除了在身体上要发展成熟外，还需要接受教导与不断的练习才能达成。因为成熟不是一个绝对的时间，所以应该说每个个体都需时时在发展中，也都有所处阶段应该学习的事物。

因此，当我们谈品德教育时，同样也可以思考这两个问题：首先要了解孩子的道德发展的关键条件---认知发展的阶段，成熟到什么阶段，然后再根据成熟的条件，思考如何创造理想学习的环境与经验，来促成所希望看到的改变。

教育心理学家皮亚杰 （Piaget）的道德发展论给了我们一些启发。他将儿童的道德判断分为3个阶段：第一是无律阶段（约5岁以前）：行为只是感官动作的自然反应与反射，而没有道德意识。第二是他律阶段（约5岁至10岁）：多以做了一件事或行为的具体后果来判断或决定行为的是非善恶，此时会片面尊重成人的权威。第三为自律阶段（约10岁以后）：多以行为的动机为善恶，逐步迈向成熟。

父母在了解了孩子的道德认知概念发展阶段后，就可以针对不同阶段的孩子，有不同期许与教育方式。以下就分为三个阶段的道德教育原则进行进一步的说明。：

[无律阶段]

在无律阶段的学龄前，在道德判断上常容易受情绪上或周遭人的影响，并且不具备思瓣的能力。只要是自己觉得有兴趣的，或成人认为是好的，就认为是好的。一般而言，教育无律期孩子的道德价值观时，需要多一些的引导与约束。

给父母的建议:

一， 明确告知期望：在此阶段的孩子因为不具备辨别对、错的能力，父母要明确清楚的告诉孩子在某一环境里适当的行为是什么，并要求孩子表现出来。如：脱下衣服该放在哪里（整洁），不可随意摘公园的花（公德心）。

二， 父母以身作则：在孩子面前没有自主判断的能力下，最易受生活在一起的父母受影响，因次父母应该将希望孩子养成的品格，在生活里示范给他看。

三， 避免负面影响：因为孩子无法辨别在生活中哪些是父母想要他们学习的，哪些不是，所以往往会对父母的行为照单全收，因此父母要特别留意日常非语言行为，是否有对孩子的期望相抵触者，如适当控制自己的愤怒的情绪。这些潜在的负面影响有时会超过父母所能想象。

四， 鼓励行为实践：一般对有品德的人的认定，是着眼在道德行为而非道德知识。因此此阶段的孩子在认知发展上虽尚未成熟，可能不解行动背后的意义，但道德的行动是在任何人生阶段都不该缺席的，所以还是要在可朔性高的此阶段，指引孩子在适当的时间、地方、做适当的事情。

Sharing : 读书给孩子听

读书给孩子听

by Lee Siang Ang on Friday, 29 October 2010 at 04:16

《卡索拉和她的书》（Cushla and Her Books）一书中，作者桃乐丝?伯特勒（Dorothy Butler）描写了女主角卡索拉出生后不久，被诊断出因染色体异变，患上了先天性的疾病。3个月时，不仅手脚无法正常活动，脑机能、视觉、听觉等都有严重的障碍。对母亲的抚摸也毫无反应。

       父母亲在她4个月大时，开始朗读绘本给她听，作为亲密交流的重要一环。当她9个月大时，已经对特定的故事有反应。3岁时，医生诊断她“心智及身体成长迟缓”，并建议送卡索拉到特定的收容机构，但父母亲拒绝了这项建议，取而代之的作法是，每天朗读14本绘本给她听。在她8岁时，卡索拉已能掌握阅读、算术等。

  挽救了卡索拉的是“绘本”，是“朗读绘本的声音”。

幼儿期的孩子不能、也不会阅读，但“朗读”能引领孩子进入书的世界。透过父母的声音，孩子能够感受到言语、事物的温度，对故事的情景天马行空，丰裕起想象力。

      专心地朗读故事，让孩子在温暖、安全的怀抱和熟悉亲切的声音中，遨游故事世界，幸福地享受亲子阅读时光。在孩子的记忆深处，这些愉悦的感觉和阅读的情景，成为孩子一生宝贵的回忆和财产。

那么，在实践“朗读绘本给孩子听”时，应抱着怎样的心态呢？

1  许多父母希望透过“朗读”增加孩子对文字的认识、词汇的增加。但是，这些只不过是“朗读”的“副产品”。若抱着为了达致某项目的心态“朗读”时，当孩子要求重复“朗读”同一本书，父母极有可能就会说：“不是读过了吗？”“你已经背熟这本书了，读另外一本吧！”强制性地要求孩子和你一起进入另一本书的“朗读”。当无法取得预期的效果时，父母就会想“我已经读那么多了，怎么还不行呢？”极容易掉入“自我中心”的陷阱。在“朗读”过程时，最重要的是亲子都能尽情地享受“朗读、听”的“愉快”。

2  什么时候最适合“朗读”呢？身为父母要敏感地感受孩子想“听”故事的时候，这就是最佳时段。同时，也不仅只是朗读一本、或者多少分钟，而是以孩子能够“满足”听故事与否为基准。

      希望全天下的父母都能做个读书给孩子听的父母，使孩子从小与良书一起成长。

Our house do not have so much picture books. Strictly, less than 10 books. Mummy Ang Lee Siang have a programme for her own children: a book a day for the children. The children will choose whatever their favourite according to their liking, then will read together with her. Buying picture books actually will cost a lot. Mummy intents to do it gradually, so that would not feels so costly.

一人一半才有伴

一人一半才有伴

文／王偉忠

陶子重義氣，她要我做什麼，我就做什 麼。她要我談一談婚姻感情，就談吧！反正我也到了開口說話會帶點道理，但年輕人聽不進去的年齡。 我跟太太戀愛八年結婚，婚後十七年，總共認識了二十五年。這麼長的時間日夜相伴，身旁偶爾沒有她，感覺很爽，倘若此後一輩子沒有她，萬萬不可。

像前一陣子看到一則意見調查，問年輕女孩，家人、父母、孩子、老公與事業，如果硬要抉擇，會先放棄哪個？ 女孩選了選，先放棄了事業，然後家人、父母，剩下老公與孩子難以抉擇，最後選擇放棄孩子、留下老公，理由是家人、父母、孩子最終都會離開身邊，但老公會是 終身伴侶。很殘酷、但也很真實。

中國字的寓意深遠，「伴」，就是一人一半，湊在一起才完整。 現今許多人適婚卻不婚，老人家看了奇怪，過去從沒發生過類似狀況。這現象代表五、六十年來沒有戰亂、年輕人長大過程中享有家庭溫暖與親情支援，因此認為單 身也能過得很好，不論敗犬或是單身貴族，不覺得非要個伴，是歷史上首度可以一個人過日子的平安歲月。

衰老未至，沒有歲月的壓力，等年齡到了，開始覺得孤獨、害怕孤獨，想找個人分享，還是需要個伴。 若要進入婚姻，套一句不負責任的老生常談，要靠緣份，除了緣份以及感性的感覺，還要理性的選擇。婚姻確實需要理性，如果女兒論及婚嫁，我一定要求要看看對方家庭，什麼樣的家庭會養出什麼樣的孩子，當然，也有破碎家庭的孩子更努力維繫自己的幸福家庭，但一定要仔細觀察。

而另一個老生常談就是婚姻需要兩個人有相同的價值觀，但這不是說「我喜歡的你一定要喜歡」，而是「我不討厭你喜歡的」，就可以了，兩人可妥協，可退讓，願 意試著接觸自己本來討厭的，看看是否真那麼不能接受，有這樣願意妥協的心情，比較容易維繫感情。

而婚姻與愛情最大的不同，在於願不願 意改變。願意為了對方改變自己，是真愛，從頭到尾都不想改變自己，這段感情充其量只是對方愛你。 戀愛是短暫的交會後很想在一起而開始，很想閃的結束。開始時乾柴烈火，講究原汁原味，眼前的他什麼都好，是全天下最酷的、最美的，不需要改，但等到愛情疲 了，才發現這人酷到不近人情、美得過於臭美、連刺青的位置不對，趕緊推給個性不合閃人。因此戀愛講究的是如何好聚好散 進入婚姻，當然還是會有許多衝突，學習重點是「相處的藝術」。

男生該學的第一課就是上廁所必須掀馬桶蓋，一開始改變很不習慣，後來融入身體，像吃飯喝水一樣自然。但最近老婆說不只要掀蓋子，尿完還希望我拿! 衛生紙擦擦馬桶周圍留下來的「遺跡」，按照過去的脾氣，一定就「老子愛….」，但現在的我會聽太太的意見，因為「愛」字裡有個心，不是光用腦想著該送什麼禮物給她，要用心。太太也改變不少，她不喜歡戶外活動，婚前知道我愛潛水、跟著背起十幾公斤重的空氣瓶跳進海底求生，這麼愛美的她怕晒黑、塗防晒油塗滿臉，一回頭、嚇一跳， 怎麼來了個歌仔戲花旦跟我一起玩。

婚後我又想潛水，她就說「不必了」，理由是家裡有孩子，不宜從事太危險的活動。 以前一個人在台北發展，要自己照顧自己，還要爭名奪利，不自私很難在短時間之內成就自己。結婚之後學著喊太太的媽媽「媽！」，有食物，不能先放進自己嘴巴，要顧著妻小先吃。我開始懂得心疼與珍惜，因為太太很好，捨不得讓她不舒服、捨不得讓她傷心，這些捨不得讓我自然學會了讓、學會了愛，也自然的改變自己，從自私變成大方。

婚姻的路是每天類似的風景，同樣的過程、淡淡的，要相處得好，真得靠慧根，所以找對象不能光想找個腿長奶大的辣妹，或是像金城武的帥哥，要找個讓自己想起 他來心裡甜甜的，回頭一看，那人就在燈火闌珊處，這就是最好的對象。

而所謂另一半，也不是一開始就契合，是在修正中不斷的磨合，你多一?
I我少一點，像拼圖一樣拼在一起，才能一起過一輩子。 當然，歲月無情，人生最終還是分離。

像我媽媽十六歲嫁給爸爸，相守相愛了一輩子，爸爸十多年前過世之後，媽媽真像少了一半，常凝望遠方，像爸爸就在天的那一邊，令人感傷。但人生如果少了婚姻、少了隨之而來的酸甜苦辣生老病死，少了孩子延續家的價值與感情，真會少掉很多滋味。

A great article by 王偉忠 - 台灣知名電視節目製作人 discussed about marriage life and the tolerance that a husband and wife needed to go through.

This article made Mummy thinks of the quarel with Daddy on the past Mother’s Day. Daddy was angry at Mummy that Mummy spend a lot of times surfing online, instead of do the ironing for Issac and Belle’s school uniform. Mummy woke up at around 9.30am, and it was a Sunday. The perks was Mummy mistakenly made Daddy’s back pain, then Daddy just packed up his clothes and bags, kissed both of you before he went out from home.

“ I suggest to call your father n clear our problem ok I quite sick of repeating my same request again n again pls arrange i mean it tq. -  Sender: C Alvin Yu +0164118320” After that night around 9.00pm, Mummy received this sms from Daddy. Feel really sad, what a Mother’s Day…

Actually, from the bottom from my heart, I will never think or dream that your Daddy will celebrate this day with me…to him, I am not a really great Mom for him, even a good wife not to say great. But Mummy had tried mummy’s best to take care both of you…even sacrifice the things that mummy wanted to do – Pru Biz. Sometimes, I really think… who am I live for?

Sharing : Facebook Symptoms

Facebook really change a lot of people living styles. Ever since the Facebook appeared, one can find back their old schoolmates, old buddies, old neighbours from this ever fast growing social cyber community. That are the advantages. The disadvantages is that the games can really made one addicted to it, and made you have to be online everyday or even every minutes and all the time. Now, it is more easier that one can online through one own hand phone. The technology really change our life and living substantially

I think I am consider myself an “Addicted One” too. But sometimes, my good brother Esiang did reminds me that, do not attached to the Facebook so much. Actually from all the friends’ Facebook pages, I like his the most. Sometimes, he will post something or ideas that can give you a ‘spark’ when you think whatever he posted on his Facebook. The followings are some of it:

View Full Album

Sharing : 请你记得他们

This one I had extracted out from Esiang’s Facebook Notes. Made me remind of Mum. Issac and Annabelle, Mummy’s Mum is your both Grandmother. Hope when you see this, when both of you grow up.

Did I Marry the Right Person?

Those who are still single may learn something from here.
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage...  

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"  
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"  

Here's the answer.  

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.   Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.  

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.  

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, could drive you nuts.  

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.  

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfilment.  

Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.  

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.   You could.  

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): 

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.  It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labour of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love. Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
So, spent your lifetime finding out the loveable things about your spouse so that you could LOVE your spouse everyday in every way in an EVERLASTING marriage.  That is why grandpa's love to your grandma seems so PURE.  

Remember,  you are with the "RIGHT" person. If not, you wouldn't have wanted to marry your spouse in the first place.

No more questions!!!