Looking Outside: Accept Church Calling Willingly… A Release

Our family went to church last Sunday. The Puchong chapel has opened to the members after being closed since last April due to Covid-19. I met with President Augustine regards to my calling before the sacrament meeting started.

Ever since that 'huge happening' in my job or work last month, I was so helpless with so many things around me. I texted President Augustine and asked if I could request a release of my calling as Relief Society President. I texted him that I had been through some challenges in my job, which knocked me down. I feel I could not serve the sisters in the branch. I feel that my burden is heavy. I know I should not think like that, but I feel overwhelmed with my work, study, family, and calling. I am like losing focus.

I frankly told him that I would have big trouble with my job because of my mistakes in calculating materials for the project that needed to be handed over soon. I let him know that I am currently studying PathwayConnect. And, I am still trying my best to juggle all those things and my relationship with Alvin. I feel I can not cope. I know that I have been blessing a lot by the Lord. I know that I need to do the calling, but I cannot do it and move forward. And I know that the sisters in the branch need ministering, and they deserved a better and more dedicated sister to serve them. I feel so sorry that I was disappointed with the calling that was given to me.

I talked to the President about my concerns and updated him about my job matters, my study, and things during MCO for the past few months. Finally, he told me that he had been inspired to call another sister in the branch for this calling. He thanked me for the service that I had rendered during my calling. It is about two years and nine months. I felt relieved for that instance.

I still feel a little guilty that I gave up serving in my calling, and my faith is not strong enough. And, I think I did not act in a manner consistent with the specific Christlike attribute that I chose, which is humility or humble. A question that follows that asked us to ponder: What might you have done differently?

This question brings my memory back to a few months back, during the first semester of PathwayConnect. There was a lesson about thinking errors. "Thinking errors are failures in judgment caused by stress, and they are incorrect ways of looking at the world. Because of your distorted view, you tend to act in ways that don't resolve the stress but instead make it worse or add new stress."

It was a struggling lesson for me when I realized that I have a weakness like this, and it occurred whenever I thought about my calling. I feel powerlessness in the academic definition. "Powerlessness" means you can't do this, and you can't do that. And you can't even try.

I know I should not have this thinking, but I can't help it. My mind would automatically shut off and blank whenever I thought of my calling as Relief Society President, and I felt overwhelmed. I am so afraid that I can't do it because there are so many sisters in the Relief Society, and so many of them are membership longer than me, and I couldn't take care of so many sisters in the branch. I realized that this had been 'haunting' me for almost two years nine months now. I could still handle it initially, but I felt I had gotten worse for the past few months.

Briefly, I was surprised and upset that this powerless thinking error of how it interrupted me so much. I did find out the when and how I addressed this weakness for that instance, and I guess I have found out and written down how I could overcome it. The problem is that I do not do it or act on it, and that is my negligence and idleness. I did not reach out to Heavenly Father. I know that I need to pray to Heavenly Father to seek His help for changing my heart.

I know I need to plan to guide myself towards little potential accomplishments that I know I have the best chances of favorable results in and have the courage to act on it. It can be started by just a call to one sister a week, talking to the sister for five minutes. Not like the earlier planned 30 minutes for every day. So by doing that, I can reduce the powerlessness thinking whenever I think of my calling and the burden I felt.

Living the gospel and service to the Lord is a joyful experience, but I think the opposite way if I continue to have such thinking errors. And those are the things that I did not do. I am not being humble enough to ask or plead for His help in doing my calling. Instead of being supposed to serve, I just let go and neglected the calling extended to me because of my weaknesses. I do not do much about it.

I felt glad after hearing the name of the sister that will be called after me. She is such a spiritual and dedicated sister, and I know the Lord indeed calls her.

Even though I still feel a bit of emptiness inside me, but I know that this release is for the betterment of the sisters in the branch, give me more time to strive to be a better spouse, parent, daughter, friend, or neighbor, and a more devoted ministering sister.

I hope I do learn something out of this that – Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always there for me to call upon Them… if I just learn how to be humble enough to ask…

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Outside: Refrain from Boasting

Matthew 23:12

12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

Like the Pharisees, if we try to exalt ourselves above others, we will be abased. To be abased means to be lowered or humiliated or to become less respected. If we are humble and serve others, the Lord will exalt us.

The phrase "shall be exalted" implies that the Lord will lift us and help us become more like Him.

Alma 38:11

11 See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength.

Alma's counsel was intended to help Shiblon develop righteous attributes. Our efforts to develop righteous attributes prepare us to teach and serve others. One aspect of pride is putting greater trust in oneself than in God.

Pride is also evident when a person thinks they are superior to or more important than others. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride" (Robert D. Hales, "Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 73).

I have truly experienced the grace and tender mercy of the Lord guiding me to resolve my recent mistakes in my work. It is indeed a humble experience for me. This past week's experience reminded the days when I tried to know God and Jesus Christ - when I went through the pains and heartache after my divorce. It is the same process.

What I can say is I am grateful and humbled for this experience, and I have been able to see the blessings and tender mercies that the Lord has given to me. It all started with those mistakes, and the challenges still keep coming for the last week and this week. I still need to on and off check the stocks and the completed work done at the site while doing office admin and some accounts works. All these are still manageable.

It was all started with my car. Throughout this week, I noticed something different and sounded whenever I turned my car's steering wheel. Due to it is time to service the vehicle. Thus I decided to drive into the service workshop last Saturday and have a check. I thought it would be minor, but it turned out the steering rack needed to change because it was wholly spoilt, and the mechanic advised that it is critical to change it straight away. I called Alvin, and he asked me to seek another opinion from the mechanic near my office area.

After the service workshop had serviced the car, I drove slowly towards Ara Damansara and safely reached the mechanic's workshop near my office. After getting the second round check, it finally confirmed that I needed to change the steering rack. The mechanic gave me a quotation shortly. I discussed with Alvin over the phone, and we concluded and proved to change, and I need to leave the car there over the weekend because the mechanic can only get the required parts on Monday. Alvin helped to pay the fees of RM1,665. It is cheaper than the earlier service workshop quotation. No choice, I took a GrabCar back home. It is such a tired Saturday for me.

Now, I reflect on the past week. I was always praying for safety and protection from Heavenly Father before I went out from home every day. I do not know why and it seems like I have a feeling of got to be extra careful this week, especially when I was driving. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father and my Savior for protecting my children and me during in our car journey for the past weeks. I know that it is not lucky nor fortunate, but because of Their love for us.

Sometimes, I thought I was strong enough to carry whatever had happened in my work on my own. I forgot to pray to the Father more often than I did after my work's more serious problems had been resolved. But still, there are always here a little, and they're a little hick-ups on the way.

I indeed had no idea that the load of the things that continued coming my way would become more extensive than I imagined, and I still need to rely on the Lord's help to carry it. I would need to put away my pride and be willing to humble myself and pray to Him to seek guidance, strength, and wisdom to go through each day to have peace of mind and go to bed every night.

I know it is still hard for me to develop the humility to serve others in my calling. Whenever I look for these past weeks, I am reminded of the tender mercies of the Lord when I needed them the most. It gives and increases and inspires me to look for small and simple ways to serve others every day.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Outside: Accept Church Calling Willingly… to be Continued

Mosiah 2:16-17

16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.

17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

I listened to one of the Come Follow Me lessons on the Book of Mormon Central YouTube channel three weeks ago, and something caught my eyes and mind on what the presenter shared in the Doctrine and Covenants 124.

Brother Taylor shared his favorite scripture verse in this entire long section of 124 because it is so profoundly relevant and so applicable to our lives and, more specifically, to his life: "Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you, my servant Joseph Smith, I am well pleased with your offering and acknowledgments, which you have made..."

Brother Taylor reiterated this to the young lad that gave the apostles two fish and five loaves of bread which Jesus had multiplied and gave the food and fed the 5,000 people. The Lord asked us to provide him with what we had - it is our offering.

"God is not asking you to perform a level of Joseph Smith and Emma Smith. God is not asking you to have the capacity of an Enoch or an Abraham and Sarah. He is asking you to make an offering of what you have. Whatever your five loaves and your two fish are, it is that offering that you give to the Lord."

"And then notice the second thing, 'and acknowledgments.' I do not know precisely what the Lord meant by that, but I know what it means to me, at least today, at this level of my spiritual maturity, with plenty of room to continue to grow.”

“It is that idea that I acknowledge who God is. Who am I? Who other people are, and my complete need for His grace, my dependence upon the Savior for all that I have, for all that I hope to be and to become, it is that acknowledgment that softens the heart, that says, I need thee, oh I need thee.”

“That acknowledgment opens channels of revelation for me to be able to tell. It is not about me; it is about connecting as many people as possible with the God who gave them life and who wants to redeem them. It resonates with my soul. I want to be more like this, to be more willing to offer all that I have.”

“It seems that God often does his work with people who are not filled with time and energy, and even talent at times. I love the fact that if you look at the scriptures and if you look at the history of different dispensations of the gospel.”

“He takes the world's weak things, which may not feel like they are on top of their game, and he says, will you go to work in my vineyard today? And sometimes he calls at the most inconvenient times where you think, oh, this is the worst timing possible.”

“And yet, that is when some of the greatest miracles are performed. God is still performing miracles despite our weaknesses. Why? It comes back to the first part of verse 1. It is because of your offering and the acknowledgments that you have made.”

“Do not ever get discouraged with whatever your commerce or swampland may be in life. If you keep digging, you keep working, and you keep offering what you have got, even if it is just five loaves and two fish for a group of 5,000. The Lord multiplies the harvest.”

“It is the Lord who takes whatever our best is, even when we are feeling down, and he magnifies it and makes the kingdom grow despite our struggles. There is something beautiful about acknowledging his hand in that process.”

”You do not have to run faster than your strength; you don't have to compare yourself to anyone else in the world. Your life didn't begin at birth. You have so many experiences. You have so many talents, so much to offer, and much to acknowledge to the Load. As you move forward in faith, trust in him more than ever before.”

“Saying, I will give all that I have to thee, even though I acknowledge it is not much. However, I will offer it all, then be still and watch how amazing his power and capacity are to multiply your offering. In the process, you will discover the story of the life that's inside of you, and it is a beautiful story. You are the hero of that story, with the help of the Savior.”

I still can remember this lesson I learned about three weeks ago. It relates to me and resonates with my thoughts about my Church calling to be a Relief Society president. I had WhatsApp to President Augustine about releasing my calling last two weeks during my work mistakes happened. It was too much to bear for me. I felt that too much was on my plate, and I could not eat it all and digest it all simultaneously.

This topic of accepting Church calling willingly - is not a new topic to me. Ever since I was called as Relief Society President, I think I was doing good in my calling and ok during the first year. I guess it is because there were not many trials and challenges that came to me at that time? After I started to feel the tension, pressures, and burdens on my shoulder, I could not take it anymore.

The thought of getting released is not new. I had asked for release before last year before MCO during February. Due to MCO and I have to stay at home, things became more relaxed, and with the help of both understanding counselors, we were able to minister with the sisters through WhatsApp video calls. It was an excellent experience for us.

After the MCO, I neglected my calling as Relief Society President again. The thought came again, and I thought that the sisters in the branch deserved a better sister to be their president who has time and is dedicated to serving them well. Then it subsided because I was thinking of wanting to try again.

These thoughts came and went, and it was just like a cycle. I am in that circle that it seems like I could not come out of it. It was quite a surprise to me when I was researching how I can develop humility, and this topic came out as one of those how can I humbly serve others.

One thought that came into my mind is: maybe the Lord wants me to learn how to rely on Him in helping His daughters in the branch. It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Lord never requests me to serve His fellow men alone by myself. This is His work. I have been given opportunities to serve His daughters of Zion, relying on Him humbly, and He will guide me through the Holy Ghost.

It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

Philippian 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

After the meeting with the client last week, I did remember that Yeap asked me to carefully calculate out the current stocks at the site and determine if he needed to order extra carpets from China. I remembered that he told me to come out with options for him. Then, I worked through the night, and I came out with three options and WhatsApp to him the following day. Eventually, he called me and told me that this was not what he wanted. He mentioned his final decision and asked me to make sure of it. I was speechless, and my mind was suddenly blank at that moment, thinking of how can I do it.

After putting down the phone, Jessie called a short while and mentioned her disappointment that I did not use my brain to think about how to solve it and asked me if I just wanted to be a despatch only. I kept quiet and listened to her dissatisfaction with me, and she said I just wanted to throw the problems back to Yeap only but did not want to face it. She finally hung up her call. I can feel her anger toward me.

I felt so sad, very down and helpless for that instance. After praying to Heavenly Father and thinking for a while, I called the installer to do a physical site measurement at the site the next day, Thursday, a Deepavali public holiday. I called Alvin and told him that I needed to work on the Deepavali holiday and could not accompany him and the children.

E Chin asked me to pray to Father before I do everything and seek His guidance to work the things out. I did it on Thursday when I was doing the site measurement, and everything went well after spending four hours at the site. I had peace of mind and felt the comfort that the Lord gives.

On Friday, I sat down in the office, calculated the available stocks and site measurements, and checked if we had sufficient to complete this project. I find that it is just enough, and I do hope that it is. I reported the outcome to Yeap, somehow our telephone conversation cut off, and he did not call back. I guess he was satisfied with the results of my findings. This week is indeed a long week for me.

Fortunately for my PathwayConnect study, we have started our team semester project, and I have very supportive sisters in the team. Thus, it is not so much pressure for me as I have to work alone on the weekly assignments.

I am grateful that the Lord's guidance helps me to go through this week. I am thankful for E Chin, who works in the Lord's hand in willing to talk to me and advise me to seek the Lord's help. I am grateful that Alvin understands my work situation and is willing to care for the children for that Deepavali holiday.

These are the words of Paul in a letter to the people of Philippi, “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phillippians 4:11). To be content no matter what circumstances we are in is easier said than done. To my surprise, I learned that Apostle Paul wrote these words while he was imprison in Rome.

I read an author in her article wrote, Hannah Pirzadeh “We Can All Find Joy within Our Personal Prisons,” Liahona February 2021 issue:

“Unlike Paul, most of us do not spend our days locked up within prison walls. But so many of us can be locked in a prisonlike state of mind—trapped within a trial that appears to be closing in on us. Our prisons could be a lost job, the death of a loved one, loneliness, fear, financial turbulence, addiction, hurt, or anxiety. When we feel locked in our own personal prisons, do we, like Paul, fill our hearts and our speech with thankfulness, hope, faith, trust, and joy? Could we look back at our times in prison and refer to them as the happiest chapters of our lives? How is that even possible?”

“This becomes possible when we believe what Paul believed when he said, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). It is through Jesus Christ that we can be so full of joy even in our darkest places, “in whatsoever state I am” (Philippians 4:11).”

“When we are in our prisons and pray with everything we have got, thanking Heavenly Father for all He has done, we can truly rest assured that everything will be all right because of Jesus Christ.”

“Just remember, it was because of Christ that, when Paul was in prison, he wrote the happiest book of the Bible. Our own prisons can be our happiest chapters too. As President Russell M. Nelson taught, “When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation … and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives.”² We can be happy and strengthened through Jesus Christ, in whatsoever state we are.”

I am thankful for the peace and comfort that the Lord has given me during these troubled times. I know I could not make it through this week without my Savior's help.

I have learned to rely on the Lord daily for the strength and knowledge I need to go through each day throughout these past two weeks.

And, today I learn that I can do all things through Christ who strengthened me,in whatsoever state or circumstances I am in.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Savior’s Example of Completing His Atonement

• Think of the Savior and renew our covenants during the sacrament (see Mosiah 18:8–10; D&C 20:77, 79)

Mosiah 18:8-10

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

When we are baptized, we enter into a covenant with God that we will serve Him and keep His commandments. One way we serve God is by serving His children. Things we are willing to do when we are baptized are “mourn with those that mourn”, “comfort those that stand in need of comfort”, “stand as witnesses of god at all times and in all things, and in all places”.

Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79

77 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen. 

79 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

When we partake of the sacrament, we witness that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ, that we will always remember Him, and that we will keep His commandments.

We can show our willingness to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ include standing for what is right, telling others that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sharing our belief in Him, and participating in His work.

When we are faithful to the promises we make during the sacrament, we can always have the Spirit to be with us.

“You receive great blessings when you keep the baptismal covenant. As you renew it, the Lord renews the promised remission of your sins. Cleansed from sin, you are able to ‘always have his Spirit to be with [you]’ (D&C 20:77). The Spirit’s constant companionship is one of the greatest gifts you can receive in mortality. The Spirit will guide you in the paths of righteousness and peace, leading you to eternal life with your Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ” (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 148).

And now, in my work, the mess that I have to clear stands in front of me. We had a meeting with the client this afternoon. I could not defend our company because I know all this happened partly due to my mistakes. My boss asked me to go back to find the solution again to solve these issues because the earlier resolution seems not to work after this afternoon's meeting.

After driving back to the office, my mind was cluttered, and cannot think anything else. I was trying to pray, and still, I could not have peace. I picked up my phone and called E Chin. She shared with me her similar working experiences similar to mines. She encouraged me to face it and solve it. And, that is the way Heavenly Father probably wants me to learn. I did ask E Chin to pray for me to go through this time patiently and humbly.

After listening to what she was trying to say, suddenly everything is so deeply relevant and applicable to me right now, especially after this week's Institute lesson studying Savior's example of completing His Atonement or mission on earth.

For this week's Institute lesson, we are studying about The Sacrament and Jesus Christ's Atonement. We are required to identify something in our life that is difficult to endure or that we are fear we may not be able to endure. Also, to identify ways in which the Savior's example of completing His Atonement can help us endure to the end.

There are something I learn from how the Savior's example of completing His atonement:

Firstly, the Savior's unconditional love for Heavenly Father and devotion to Him. During His suffering in Gethsemane and the events after which would lead to His Crucifixion, He could have fled or defended Himself.

Instead of withdrawing from the painful events before Him, He went towards Judas and the multitude and took the disciples with Him. He could have destroyed His enemies but instead allowed them to arrest Him. He could confound His enemies verbally, but he supplied the evidence against Him they sought during the trials. He could have called upon legions of angels to defend Him, yet He chose not to do so.

Jesus Christ was willing to submit to His Father's will, and he willingly submitted to the betrayal, arrest, and trials leading to His Crucifixion. He knew that these events were part of Heavenly Father's plan for Him. Jesus Christ is humbly submissive to it.

Secondly, Jesus Christ endures well. He knew it was not easy at all for Him to go through His mission on earth. He is being obedient and still, served, healed, comforted to all during His ministry on earth with His Christlike Attributes - humility, diligence, obedience, patience, charity and love, virtue, knowledge, and hope. All these are Jesus Christ's characteristics, but I believe that He developed them throughout the years from young to adulthood. It is the same as I am. I can learn and grow to be more like Him.

Frankly, it is indeed challenging for me to go through this challenging time of mine. It is undoubtedly the most stupid, careless mistake that I have ever made in my working life. I have to face it and go through it. I will and need to pray to Heavenly Father to give me the strength and wisdom to turn this challenging time, hopefully not a painful learning experience for me and most seriously affect my company.

"Jesus chose not to be released from this world until He had endured to the end and completed the mission He had been sent to accomplish for mankind. Upon the cross of Calvary, Jesus commended His spirit to His Father with a simple statement, 'It is finished (John 19:30 (Links to an external site.)). Having endured to the end, He was released from mortality.

"We, too, must endure to the end" (Robert D. Hales, The Covenant of Baptism: To Be in the Kingdom and of the Kingdom (Links to an external site.), Ensign, Nov. 2000, 6).

And now I think this is that moment that it is so difficult for me to endure. Today I suddenly realized that ever since the start of the Christlike attribute journal project for the institute for this semester, I desired and wanted to learn more about humility.

For the past few weeks, the events that had happened seem to give me a real-life first-hand experience to learn to be humble. Especially for these mistakes which I made in my job, indeed requires me to learn to pray to Heavenly Father, be submissive to the Lord's will, and learn how to solve these issues and rely on His wisdom.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.