Looking Inside: Choose Not to be Offended… to be continued

• Choose not to be offended (see D&C 42:88).

88 And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.

The Lord's instructions for us when someone has offended us is to reconcile with them privately. Reconcile means resolving differences and restore harmony.

I feel this week this scripture verse indeed suits me for what I had been through for the past week. I still not yet go to work officially. Our office is still working from the home method. It is not working from home for me because it requires me to go to job sites or deliver samples to my boss's client's office.

Physically, I can say that the nature of the job would make me exposed more to the Covid-19 viruses. My pay is still half-month of the original salary, and the company allows me to claim on a mileage basis on each trip or job site that requires me to go. The company still would not pay my EPF contributions, and I am classified as a contract worker if this goes on.

I feel this is unjust for me, and my heart is not satisfied with my current job conditions. I still have monthly commitments that I need to fulfil, such as home loan, vehicle hire purchase loan, monthly medical card insurance payments for myself and my kids, monthly allowance to my father and his insurance.

With the half-month pay that I am getting now, it is nice to cover all those monthly commitments but not enough for my daily expenses, such as extra food or staple that I will buy for the family. I had already withdrawn from my EPF accounts some of the monies I can draw, and it comes to an end soon, especially at the end of this year.

I feel insecure at all. I just wondered why my income has been getting lower and lower over the years?

This past week, my boss asked me to do this and that at the very last minute. I need to take Issac to Sri Emas International School to take his IGCSE ESL exam. The next day, I need to bring him to Management and Science University to take his second dose of Pfizer Covid-19 vaccination.

I felt so pressured because everything came in at one time, and I needed to attend to my boss's given assignments at the same time. I heard and looked at everyone already went to the office and worked like normal, but not my office. I feel being mistreated. I felt uneasy when talked to my boss over the phone listening to his inpatient voice tone, as I am not doing my job even with my work from home pays, and it made me feel hurt and uncomfortable at all.

Then, this week Christlike Attributes Journal's plan came into my mind about the one thing that I want to focus on this week - choose not to be offended.

Elder David A. Bednar 2006 General Conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them” came into my mind,

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected… However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

"As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

I never thought that chooses not to be offended part of being humble. We are humble when we acknowledge our weaknesses and decide not to be offended by someone's words or behaviour.

I love the story quoted by Elder Bednar in the Book of Mormon, about a time when both Captain Moroni and the chief judge Pahoran were corresponding amid warfare. Captain Moroni accused Pahoran of being thoughtless, lazy, and neglected for not supporting the armies in the frontline.

"Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, "Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart" (Alma 61:2, 9)."

The following words from Elder Bednar indeed woke me up and reminded me that I did not act in a manner consistent with my specific Christlike attribute, which is being humble.

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, "it mattereth not."

I can choose to say to myself, "It mattereth not." Most importantly, I should not take things grudges into my heart, but listen and do as what Elder Bednar counselled,

"If a person says or does something that we consider offensive, our first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly, and directly with that individual. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood."

What a counsel! I am grateful for the inspirations that just came right in time!