Perfect... Imperfection... Seeking A Balance...

Friday, November 16, 2018

Learning to Hear Him

Right now I am really stunned!

Last night after having a heart to heart talk with Sister Peggy and Sister E Chin, I did have a peaceful mind and I felt warm in my heart. I kneeled down before God and said my prayer.

I was so afraid to ask about the decision which I have to decide, I do not think I am ready for to ask anything at all as I do not yet make up my mind what I want to do next.

I prayed for a lowly and humble heart, and seek to learn and ask the Lord to teach me how I able to listen and hear what He want me to do. My mind is actually still blank when I woke up this morning, and my heart still troubled when I am thinking of my marriage.

I am supposed to study on 3 Nephi Chapter 11. Beginning of the lesson teach about how the Nephites hear the voice of the Father announcing the appearance of His Son, how the Lord and the Holy Ghost often speak to us? I was really stunned at that instance as I slowly flipped through the lesson of today that I am supposed to study. It is all about Holy Ghost.

I was speechless… Heavenly Father really hears me every each day and seconds… He knows my heart… He loves me so so much… He is there whenever I need Him… Just I do not have my clear eyes and mind to hear, to see and to feel Him. The Spirit is always there.

I was supposed to complete this lesson 2 days ago as my earlier scheduled, but I could not as I do not have a clear mind to read, to rush and catch up the lessons. I know all these are not co-incident.

And, I know that all these happened for a better reason that only God knows, because He knows the end from beginning. I know all these happened for my own good. 3 Nephi The Book of Nephi, is not co-incident that I read it through at these time. It is truly the divine design that I have to go through and to learn something from it, and I feel blessed that I managed to read it now, at this moment.

President Boyd K. Packer, explained how the voice of the Lord, through the Holy Ghost, operates on our mind and heart:

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“Perhaps the single greatest thing I learned from reading the Book of Mormon is that the voice of the Spirit comes as a feeling rather than a sound. You will learn, as I have learned, to ‘listen’ for that voice that is felt rather than heard…

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“The gift of the Holy Ghost… will guide and protect you and even correct your actions. It is a spiritual voice that comes into the mind as a thought or a feeling put into your heart”

President Boyd K. Packer gave the following counsel about what we need to do to listen to and understand the voice of the Lord through the Holy Ghost:

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“The Spirit does not get our attention by shouting. It never shakes us with a heavy hand. The Spirit whispers. It caresses so gently, indeed, that if we are preoccupied, we can’t feel it at all.

“Occasionally, the Spirit will press just firmly enough or often enough for us to pay attention; but from my experience, most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, if we do not listen with those feelings, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening, in our manner and our expression”

I have a strong feeling as all the questions in the lessons are meant for me to study right now at this moment. 3 Nephi considered the highlights of the entire of the Book of Mormon, and it focuses on the direct teachings ad ministry of Jesus Christ to the people of Nephites.

It is not by chance and not by coincident, it is His divine design that I learn all these at this right now. Seeing how Jesus Christ demonstrated compassion for the people “one by one”, He wants to let me know that His concern as an individual – a child of lovingly Heavenly Father. Learning how some people prepared themselves to meet the Savior while others prevented themselves from experiencing the magnificent blessings. I can feel that He is walking with me everyday.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Messages…

unnamed[7:57 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear.. we love you.. please remember.

[7:58 am, 14/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Remember dear.. love you all too.

[7:58 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: 若你現在正在面临人生的挑战,希望羅纳德。羅斯本長老的話能够增强你对神的信心,他说:當你處在人生大风暴之中,不要忘记你是神的儿女,这个神聖的傳承,也不要忘记你永恒的目标。)
神爱你

3de9daead1949e515293c5fc4375352c[7:59 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: We are God’s children. We have great potential! We love you!

[8:00 am, 14/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: vision mission direction towards God yes forever remember.. but in me myself certain things i just have to be myself.. knowing God love us so much yes indeed never forget...

unnamed[9:31 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear... I know that I understand you not much, even we have been married for long time. You are always a really good family man in our eyes.. I know that you must been through a lot and much challenges, struggles and sufferings at points and moments which we were not seeing you, in your career working life and your personal struggles for all these years.. for you never tell us all your bitterness.. I know it is not easy for you to face that alone, and all those you have been through have made you become what you are today. I wish for all those years I have been there with you. I do not know

unnamed[9:46 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: I do know that it is really not easy for you to go through all those years alone. I feel sad that for all these years I never walk into your heart, share your sadness and happiness. I was not grow up so fast as you have been progress. But one thing I know that is I love you from the day one I saw you till now. I know that you love us, but I can feel that you are not in love with me anymore... I feel sad.. what is happening between us

[10:04 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear.. can both of us try and try to make our relationship better ya? I love you.. dear

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

O Remember, Remember

Today I really feel sad. I know and I can feel that he was not going back his rented place sleep last night. He was with someone else…

I feel disappointed and upset for the whole day, I was not in a good mood. I feel insecure and sad, but luckily there were a lot of office works that at least keep me busy so that I won’t think too much.

In actual fact, I do not have the calmness I need to read and study the Book of Mormon, but I forced myself to read and study even though I know that my mind was not align with the Spirit.

This really made my heartache. I was trying my best to do everything else except thinking of him. Thinking of him made me feel sad.

I was sitting down after dinner and taken my bath, opened up my laptop wanted to continue study the Home-Study Seminary for the Book of Mormon. I just have to force myself on reading all these scriptures so that my mind would not drifting away.

I just clicked on the internet and came to the Church website, I noticed that there is a small video clip that draw my attention – Gratitude for God’s Hand in Your Life.

I saw the summary of the video clip: President Henry B. Eyring encourages us to look for the hand of God and recognize the abundant blessings God gives to us daily. I was thinking like, “Yes, I need to see this!”

I was so surprised and feel with joy that, this is not the first time I come across this message! I read through it yesterday in the Home-Study Seminary in the Book of Mormon.

I was studied on 3 Nephi Chapter 2 on how the Nephites easily began to forget the signs that they had seen related to the Savior’s birth. By forgetting their precious spiritual experiences, they had became more vulnerable to Satan’s temptations and deceptions.

At that point, immediately I related it to myself when read this, have I forgotten any? It is really difficult for me to remember, I felt sad and I have an impression, “You should write it down into your blog.”

Then, the lesson highlighted an example of President Henry B. Eyring related how recording his spiritual experiences in a journal helped him.

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“I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

“More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.”

O Remember, Remember

President Henry B. Eyring

October 2007 General Conference

Yesterday after I read this short paragraphs, I was reflected on myself for the whole past week, what made my mind so troubled and worried ? Have I forgotten how our family able to come unto this Church of the Lord ? Have I forgotten how we can have the house we have now ? And so much more what God had done in our lives! And, why I did not put my trust in the Lord ?

Personally, I love to write and that is the reason why I keep the blog. I want to record down everything about the children. So that when they grow up, they have a place to read and know, someday in the future, how their childhood were and I want them to know and remember how the Lord have blessed our family so much and His love to this little family.

I was thinking of writing all the spiritual experiences that I encountered for the last few days, so that I would not forget. It was late night and I delayed it yesterday.

Today I saw the same message again, I think this must be the promptings of the Spirit remind me something that need to be done. Thus, here I am writing this small spiritual experience that I have. I should make it an every day, even few lines.

As what President Eyring said, “Tonight, and tomorrow night, you might pray and ponder, asking the questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children?”

Of coarse my answer is a big Yes! I am starting to see it now for these past few days! And that are the reasons why I want to preserve all these precious memories into writings.

May be in the future when I encounter any struggles or trials, I will remember what have the Lord blessed me and remind me to stay on this strait and narrow path, and as the prophets of the Book of Mormon often implored, “O remember, remember…”

Monday, November 12, 2018

Connect All the Dots…

Today I sat down and think… refresh my memories and connect back all the dots and lines which I had been encountered for the past few days. I am indeed amazed!

For the past few days I was too blind and too deaf to hear the communications or the messages from Heavenly Father that I really missed had I not been striving to hear it and see it. Heavenly Father was and is trying to reach out to me everyday!

On last Friday, I received Sister Saffron message through WhatsApp. It was President Dieter F. Uchtdorf about Faith. “Faith comes to the humble, the diligent, the enduring.”

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I was just read it through and did not put into my heart. I remembered that I did come across the scripture line that asked me to have faith in Heavenly Father and be humble, meekness and pray to Him.

On last Saturday, Sister Saffron sent this message to me, Elder Ronald A. Rasband said, “I begin by reminding you that you are a son or daughter of a loving Father in Heaven...” I too just read through the message and did not put into my heart at all.

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I remembered that on Saturday,  I was watching The Nutcracker and the Four Realms as part of our programme in celebrating Issac’s birthday. Clara receives an egg-shaped box from her father as it is a present that her late mother given to her before she died.

The egg-shaped box which she is unable to unlock, together with a note saying "Everything you need is inside". While Clara’s godfather, a skilled engineer Drosselmeyer were talking to her in the movie, I sort of sensed that The Lord is talking to me in the movie too. And it has been as the Lord is telling me that I am His child, do not be afraid.

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Finally Clara managed to open her egg-shaped music box and discover a mirror, illustrating that all she needed was herself. This message as it was from the Lord, was telling me that I am the answer to all my fear and troubles. He was telling me that I have a great talent that I have ever know. I am the key of all the questions and puzzles of all. I can feel His love at that instant.

Heavenly Father is reaching out to me everyday to tell me in every ways the things He wants me to know. It is really so miracle that the message each day is the same, just I did not see it! This is really a testimony that I have and I would not want to forget, and how the power of ministering able to reach to those who need.

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All these sequences of spiritual experiences made me realise that I have to do in the Lord’s will. If I am too anxiously want the end results (prayer) in my will, I will feel lost… I think that was the reason being why I was worrying and troubling for the whole week.

Heavenly Father indeed knows me very well… That was the reason why He sent Sister E Chin to talk to me last Sunday. Suddenly for this instance, I just feel like, I am not a so obedient child at all, till Heavenly Father have to ‘speak loud’ to me on my face. I was too upset and that was the reason why hinder me from seeing and feeling.

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This is the closest that I can feel and start to understand how Heavenly Father talk and answer my prayers. I really would not want to forget these precious moments for the rest of my life…

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We were sending Alvin to the KLIA2 as he was taken the earliest flight back to Johor Bahru, after which I send both children to their school. We had our breakfast at 24 Hours KFC which is just near Mecaje this morning.

I know that there are still a lot of things will happened in front of our marriage journey, but the Lord let me knows that He is always there beside me, even though I cannot sense it or feel His presence because of I was too focus on my sadness, anxiety, worries that had blocked me from listening and feel Him.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Puchong Branch ~ Harmon Keyboard Grant Students 2018 Musical Recital

The ‘graduates’ from last year keyboard students continued Sister Colman’s work in serving others. Sister Annie helped in organized the members whom were interested to learn and coordinated with the applications forms, necessary letters to pass to the Senior Couple missionaries.

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Elder and Sister Dustin to liaise with the Jack and Wauna Harman Foundation to get the music training materials and the keyboards sets. This year all the graduates from last year have become teachers to teach the members.

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Annabelle is one of the participants this year. This year there was time slots – Saturday 11.00am or Tuesday 8.00pm. We choose to attend 11.00am class like last year due to Issac have his art class at Jane Yap Atelier at 1.00pm.

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The teachers or leaders continue with what Sister Colman whom started the coarse last year with teaching how to conduct the music for the first and second lesson, then it was continued with the keyboard course. Learning how to see and read the music notes, play the simple hymns and practice at home. And they take turn to teach the new batch of students.

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Besides Annabelle, there are Sister Jully, Sister Angel, Sister Bo Yee, Sister Sophia, Sister Lee Lee and Brother Kok Cin. This year Sister Annie organised the Musical Recital for all the students to present what they have learned throughout these few months and put into a practice.

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We had it on Sunday after the Church meeting. Both Elder and Sister Dustin came after their assignment from other branches. There are light refreshments and desserts prepared too for the occasion.

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The program started with Sister Annie giving her opening remarks, she expressed her love to each and every student, what is their strength and how is their learning process and all about their goodness.

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Issac did play for an opening hymn of Joseph Smith’s First Prayer.

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Followed by Sister Dustin gave her remarks for the event, she expressed her love to each teachers whom sacrifice their time to teach and make this program a successful one.

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Followed by the teachers Sister Saffron and Sister Amy given their remarks towards the students.

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The presentation begins from Sister Jully.

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By Sister Sophia.

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Sister Lee Lee.

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Lastly by our Annabelle.

Even though there was only 4 presentations and the audiences turned out are all the family members of the participants, but it is really a delight to feel the joy that they have for the efforts and encourage that they put in it.

We are very proud of Annabelle too! And Issac as an example to his little sister…

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Issac Early Birthday Celebration

This year due to Alvin’s job at Johor Bahru and Issac’s actual birthday will be fall on Monday, we celebrate Issac’s birthday early. Alvin come back this weekend to celebrate together with us.

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Today the children do not have any classes, we call it off for a day. We went downtown to KL Sunway Putra Mall to have a movie and just walked around there. We watched “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms”, it is a great movie!

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After which later we went in to a small cafe, bought some cheese cakes and put on some candles and with our very own style celebrate the birthday with Issac.

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He is so happy because his Daddy is back able to celebrate his birthday with him. He opened the present that Alvin gave him. It is a G-Shock watch! It is a nice watch!

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We love our boy so much! It is officially 13 years old now! He is officially a teenager now! Time flies with just a glimpse of eyes! Even though today is just a normal day, but we enjoy with this little time we have together.

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Thursday, November 8, 2018

You are the Centre of My Life…

unnamed[9:12 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: Dear… you will be driving back? Friday or Saturday?

[9:13 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Oo… send my flight itinary to u later… fly back tmr night 9pm… monday fly back 7am

[9:14 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: dear… how is your work now?

3de9daead1949e515293c5fc4375352c[9:14 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Hmmm not comfort n gd… anyway bodoh bodoh over daily 1st lah

[9:15 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: you are looking for job right now?

[9:15 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: i hope you will come back to KL for work

[9:15 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: please i really hope we can work out this way

unnamed[9:16 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: to be frank… you really give me a feeling of you are dating now…

[9:17 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Looking edy

[9:17 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Look everyway of course incl back home

3de9daead1949e515293c5fc4375352c[9:17 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: forest city is a china company?

[9:18 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: is their office at JB as well?

[9:18 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Country garden

[9:18 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Need to talk.

[9:21 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: come back and we talk

unnamed[9:22 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Okie

[9:22 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: is my instinct right?

[9:23 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Is that important?  Work 1st…

[9:23 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: yes, because this family and marriage is my entire life

3de9daead1949e515293c5fc4375352c[9:27 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Dear this family u n kids also my beloved in my life

[9:55 am, 08/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Dear pls do not worry n think toooooo much ya…

[10:10 am, 08/11/2018] ipeng: please stay true to us and yourself and decide what you want

unnamed[3:32 pm, 08/11/2018] ipeng: Dear… I have been doing my dream board these past weeks and try to get the pictures of what I want. I just manage to finish my dream board today… and then I realized that all those in the dream board is not about myself… it is you and our 2 lovely children… that was and is always my dream board. All of you inside it…

[3:32 pm, 08/11/2018] ipeng: All these years you all are the centre of my life…

[3:35 pm, 08/11/2018] ipeng: It is true that you all are the most important in my life!