Facing and Resisting Temptation

I was reading Matthew Chapter 4 this morning. It talked about how Satan tempted Jesus. From that account, I know that Satan targets our weakest or most vulnerable areas and repeatedly tempted us.

Satan tried to appeal to the desire to satisfy physical appetite when tempted Jesus during fasting, to turn stones into bread; Satan promised rewards that were not his to give and that he could not provide when Satan’s offer to give Jesus the kingdom of the world.

In my case, that is Alvin is my weakest point, that is why the Satan keeps on disturb my emotion and my mind trying to distract my focus unto Jesus Christ. Satan keep on rise up my doubts towards Alvin, and of coarse I do not have the confident and trust in Alvin due to my previous experiences.

Now I know why my ministering sisters ask me to do and focus on the things I supposed to do and put my thoughts and feelings of Alvin aside. When I do not think much about him, I am really doing good and fine. When my thoughts and feelings start to shift to Alvin, then all the uneasy feelings, doubts, suspects mind will start to come back.

Another lesson I learned from this account, is that even Jesus Christ the Son of God too, responded to each of Satan’s temptations by quoting from the scriptures. When were call and apply truths taught in the scriptures, we can resist the devil’s temptations.

That is the reason why we need to read the scriptures daily, because scriptures are the word of God. And, that is the reason why our Prophets always asked us to feast upon the word of God and also the Book of Mormon.

I learned about this in the scripture study today. I can feel that as Heavenly Father wants me to know and learn about this. Suddenly as my eyes and mind is opened at once and see that. And I understand why my ministering sisters advice me all these while.

I can feel Heavenly Father’s love to me and my family.  I know that what I learned today is true and I should learn to be like Jesus Christ to resist the temptations! And, try to become like Jesus Christ!

Continue to Minister

I had a sleepless night last night. My mind was distracted and I was emotionally disturbed I am not happy with my current state. I have given much thought to the tele-conversation with Alvin.

This morning I WhatsApp Alvin and apologized to him that if previously he had told me about dealing with Sister Sandy I did not listen to his words, as I did remember he mentioned before.

I called Sister Peggy this morning to tell her all about last night’s tele-conversation. I do feel troubled and not comfortable at all. She consoled me that it was normal and she had been through the same experience as I did.

She asked me to just follow my heart, do which is comfortable to me and do not push myself to do the thing which I do not want to. If that thing is beyond my limit, just say no and stop. I feel the same way too.

Sister Peggy counseled that there might be other things which I can do for Sister Sandy such as, give her an inspiring scripture verses or General Conference quotes, and some ideas about Self-Reliance too. After my tele-conversation with Sister Peggy, I felt better.

Around 110.00 am Sister E Chin texted me to check whether I am going back hometown to celebrate Chinese New Year. I just replied to her no and I gave her a call. I need to talk to her. It feels as if the Lord prompted E Chin to message me, and it is needed at the right time when I need someone to talk.

I shared with her what was happening last night and my uneasy feeling and fear when I want to do the ministering work further. E Chin advised me that I should not be fear. There is reason why one particular sister would placed under Alvin and my ministering assignment. May be I have something that other sisters do not have to help this particular sister.

It is just like how she and Chelsea minister me. E Chin gives me some advices and some ideas on how to minister and she asked me to pray to Heavenly Father seeking for His guidance in helping this particular sister. She asked me to suit up with bullet proof armour too!

I feel really much better after talked to E Chin. I really do believe that my ministering sisters do know my needs and they indeed are guided by the Spirit! It is just like I have been refill with the fresh spring of water and it is totally a different feelings, I have been lifted up!

I have been inspired by Sister Peggy’s ideas about the Self-Reliance. I prayed and there are some ideas came to my mind on how to minister Sister Sandy better. The ideas which she shared about Self-Reliance is really true.

After I have given much thoughts about it,three ministering sisters which we have Sister Yong Yong, Sister Hoor and myself are may be we attended the Self-Reliance classes. This might be the reason why we are put together. I do not know and still not sure and I still need to pray and discuss with both ministering sisters.

It is just like why and how Chelsea and E Chin are my ministering sisters. We too, can do the work like how they minister to me.

Feel Defeated Again…

After what was happened yesterday, today is a peaceful day. I was communicating with Sister Yong Yong as she is Sister Sandy’s ministering sister to see how we can further assist her spiritually.

I decided to give her a call to check on her how is she doing after I have settled down in the home. It was almost 9pm. She was quite offensive during starting of the conversation, but eventually she became relaxed a bit and started to tell me the whole story of her workplace stuffs which I think I need to do is to listen what she has to say.

It took almost 45 minutes and I knew that Alvin must be calling me but unable to get through because I was engaged online. I ended the tele-conversation by telling her that I need to call Alvin as we always will call each other at the night during this time.

Then, I sensed that Sister Sandy’s tone changed and she said that if I need to tell the sisters in the Church about what she had been through and told me that if I am free find one day go to the Labour Department with her together.

At that point of time, I feel really uneasy and not comfortable at all because she was sort of commanding me to go and settled her problem with her. I said to her that, I would seek the counsel from the Branch President on this. She did not say anything and we just casually ended the call.

I feel exhausted after having the tele-conversation with her. I called Alvin after that, I just told him what was happening for the past 2 days and I just totally feel mind drained because of Sister Sandy’s attitude. After he listened to what I have to say, then Alvin told me that, that was exactly what was happening years back during she just baptised into our Church.

Alvin purposely applied half day leave to drive her to the Vietnam Embassy to apply some official documentation. In the end, she was not satisfied in what the Vietnamese Officers requested, even would want to ask Alvin to argue with the officers for her.

Thus, Alvin felt that was the most that he can assist, further more the matter he assist her was her personal matter. That is the reason why after her case, he less and less do his home teaching as it is sometimes so burdening.

He advised me that we strive to assist and do our part and do whatever we can, if the matters are beyond our limitation, we cannot further pursue anymore. Why doing ministering so difficult?

This is the first time I am putting thoughts into it and want to improve my ministering work, and such things happened. It would definitely make me think twice when I think of ministering further. I really feel a little bit scare off after this. I have a sleepless night…

Draining Out…

Today I was feeling totally drained out. I do not know how to describe what I have been through.

I imagine myself as a sugar cane that have been freshly squeezed out the juice inside, already dried out of juice inside; Or I imagine myself as a dying fish laying on the deck of the dock, trying my very best to flip myself towards the open sea.

The feeling was exactly like that. The living water within me has been dried out, and I am thirst for the living water.

I received call from Sister Sandy from her workplace. She sounds so desperate and asked me to immediately go to her workplace because her employer had just fired her and asked her to leave immediately.

I was shocked by her call and I told her that I was unable to do that because I was still working. I just gave her advise that she should at least took some form of official letter from her employer that should guaranteed her salary. She noted and ask me to look for other people that could go and help her, and hang up the phone.

I could not imagine who else can go over to her workplace in the middle of the day and everyone sure have their own matters to settle and do. I gave Sister Sandy a call back and told her that no one that I know off have time to go over to her workplace. I think she was in the middle of talking to her employer and she just noted and hang up the phone.

After an hour she called again and asked me what is the address of the office of Labour Department is and she wanted to go there and asked me to go together with her. I told her that I was unable to go out because I was working and my bosses were in the office. Again, she asked me to get from anybody else that can help her this.

I was telling her that just calm herself down and drive safely and just went straightway home. She kept on telling me and insisted that she wanted to go and lodged a complaint to the Labour Department, kept on asking me to go with her. I told her that I unable to help her on this.

Later in the evening she WhatsApp me a sample of form and asked me about it. It seems to me was a complaint form sample. It seems to me that she was able to settle herself or there was someone helping her. This gave me a thought that may be her ways of doing things is like this – she will call all the persons she know and see whoever that can help her first.

She later asked me what time I would be off today. I told her that after working hour, I need to fetch the children home, and cook for them and watch over their homework. It would be around 9pm already. Later she asked me if I would be free tomorrow. I told her that I have to work tomorrow as well.

My mind was indeed distracted today. Exhausted. I did call Sister Peggy and inform her about what happened today, so that at least she would know the sisters current circumstances.

Prior to this, I did have discussions with the sisters whom minister or communicate with her, just to know her more. It seems like her strong character has frighten those whom wants to minister her. Today including me as well. I wonder how am I going to minister further after today?

I really do not feel comfortable at all. I feel bad that I was unable to help her today, but to me it is the problem that she should face it by her own. Because she is the one who make the choice that she wants to report to the Labour Department and it is her personal matter.It is not a right way to throw her problem to another person to solve for her. She should learn to solve it by her own.

Her negative energy is so strong that able to suck all the energy I have whenever talk with her. I really feel bad and a little guilt on this. I need to really really pray to the Lord on this, and what should I do? How should I minister further?

I Will Go and Do

After the Church yesterday, I managed to catch up with Sister Anita before she went off as she has relatives visits from United States. Together with Sister Robinia, we handed her a journal which I bought in Mr. DIY. I handmade additional their favourite scripture in colour printing lamination on the front cover, some conference talk quotes in the inner cover pages.

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men,save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

~ 1 Nephi 3:7

This is Sister Anita’s favourite scripture. She shared with us last November during when we start to minister her. Sister Anita shared with us that this is one of the first scripture that she memorize as a kid. It gives her motivation that when God instructed her, He also gives her way to do what He asks.

At that point of time, I was not really given much thoughts or pondering about that scripture. After the spiritual experiences that I have been through with Sister Yong Yong’s favourite scripture, I start to ponder about the Sister Anita’s favourite scriptures which she shared with me…

Our family were sealed in the Cebu City Philippines Temple in the year of 2015. That was our family first visit to the holy temple. Alvin and I were having our first endowment at the Cebu City Philippines Temple. Both of us did the ordinances for our deceased parents on that temple trip.

Ever since we did not return to the temple, even my heart wants to go back to the temple at least once a year. After I came back from the Cebu temple, I started to do the research and did family history, and now I have 5 names that can do the ordinances for them. The thoughts of attending the temple would come into my mind on and off reminding me that I have not done the ordinances for them yet.

Last year Issac came back home and told me that there will be a Kuala Lumpur District Youth Temple Trip this year and the youth were asked to save a Ringgit a day to go to the temple. The District Youth Presidency was decided to go to Hong Kong Temple.

I was really happy because the Church teach Issac to save for the temple trip and pay tithe at the same time. I was thinking that this would be his first ever temple trip and do the baptism ordinances for the dead and it is very important to him and to us as a family.

May be Alvin can accompany him to the temple and witness his first baptism ordinance for the dead and this would be meaningful to both of them as father and son spiritual trip. Both of them can help me to do the temple ordinances for my both grandfathers, it would be meaningful to me.

I was feeling a little disappointed at the same time as Annabelle would only turn into 12 years old officially in October 2019. The Kuala Lumpur District Youth Temple Trip is going to be on 28th – 30th March 2019, which mean she cannot make it on that trip.

It would be wonderful if all of us can go back to the temple as a family together, and I can do the temple ordinances for my both grandmothers at the same time as well. It was my wishful thinking in my heart.

Last November after Sister Anita shared her favourite scripture to us, the news of age changes for youth progression and ordinances announced. I still remember on that Saturday morning when I received the email from the Church, I was reading the mail through my IPhone. I was reading the email again and again, it seems so unbelievable! My once a wishful thought might become reality! The Lord knows my desires!

First, Issac can go to the temple at RM300 only and the rest would be subsidized by the Church; then, now after the changes that the Church announced, now Annabelle also can go to the temple at RM300 too. It is a blessing for me! Both Issac and Annabelle can perform the baptism ordinances for my grandparents. Alvin and I can witness their first baptism in the temple, and that is the reason why both of us wanted so badly to join the youth temple trip. That is the reason why I wrote to President Van Cott and Sister Claire on this.

I was thinking that it is already a blessing from the Lord that both children able to go to the temple with our limited financial. Then, it came the good news that Sister Claire brought to me last week as I can able to help out to assist the Young Women leaders during this KL District Youth Temple Trip, and the Church would cover my flight and accommodation. It is indeed another mercy and blessing which the Lord has for me and my family.

I was preparing the little journal for Sister Anita the other day, I was searching online on her favourite scripture. The scripture verse was in front my eyes all the time. I was not so sensitive to it at all.

Suddenly I realized that the Lord really have a work for me to do in the temple. And He is so mercy and gracious that He indeed prepare the way for me to go to the temple! The Lord is waiting for me there!

I was so touched by the Spirit when suddenly I opened my eyes to see this verse – 1 Nephi 3":7 that the Lord wants me to see and the things He wants me to do! The Lord is waiting me to go back to the temple, He has a work for me to do. I know I have to do the temple works for my ancestors! I know He will have further instructions for me.

It was such a spiritual experience that I have been through. To reaffirm what I have in mind, Sister Shiyu too shared with us the same scripture verse 1 Nephi 3:7 as her favourite scripture. It is really not a co-incidence that two sisters share the same scripture at the same time!

I shared with Sister Anita my testimony and I encourage her to write whatever the thoughts and experiences down, because that is how I discover the things that the Lord wants me to do. Further more, we would never know the things we write would be the light that lights us up when we need it.

From now till the time our family go to the temple, 1 Nephi 3:7 would be the light that lights my path bright.

A Simple Meal

After last week successful try out of the baked chicken chop, potatoes and vegetables, I prepared the same for today Sabbath’s meal as well for the children.

Sometimes I feel so blessed with these two little angels besides me all the time, even though my cooking skills still has a lot of rooms to improve.

Both of them just so supportive in whatever cooking I make. I feel so touched with these 2 very understanding angels God gifted to me in my life. And, of coarse sometimes they too, have their own mood as well.

Ministering

I was preparing a framed “Family: A Proclamation to the World” for Sister Peggy and wanted to give to her today. We have a talk before the Sacrament Meeting started.

We were talking about one of the sisters that are under Alvin and my care list as both if us are her ministering couple. After my release from the Primary calling, I want to improve my ministering work to the sisters under my care list.

Since Alvin is not around here due to his job is posted in Johor, thus I think it would be good if I could take up the ministering job and do our part as ministering couple.

Sister Sandy came to church today as she wanted to pass her tithing, she went off before the sacrament meeting end. I just managed to talk to her for awhile only. She asked me to go over to her workplace after church to visit her.

I told her that I can only able to go over after I came back home and settled with children lunch then only I would be able to go over. I did tell Sister Peggy about this and I would update her as well because she is the Relief Society President.

I went over to Sister Sandy’s workplace after I settled down the children and their lunch. Her workplace is a beauty saloon which is located at Bandar Puteri, opposite the Puteri Mart wet market.

It was about 3.13pm when I was there. Sister Sandy was busy with customer. It seems that there is a walk-in customer. So she asked me waited for awhile at the reception. She came out and we chit chat for about 10 minutes.

She mainly expressed her dissatisfaction on the things she facing on her works. More on relationship with her colleagues not so good. It seems that her colleague jealous for her sales. More on HR issues.

I just listened and asked her to be patience unless she would want to change a work environment. She told me that her previous job is less stress and she was getting along well with her boss and colleagues. But the pay there not so much.

Current job here is higher pay and may be that’s why have this sort of problems. I just told her that, may be just treat it as a learning path.

We did not talk much as she need to continue back work. And her lady boss was there too. She said she will call me tonight again after work. I advised her to be patience. And if got time, before sleep, write something. Something that remind us of the Savior, such as what are you grateful for today the Lord have done to you? Even a few lines is ok everyday.

She was troubled with the current issues related to her works. I think she just need a channel to express her unhappiness as I believe she has few friends. What can I do is be there for her to express all the negative or uneasiness within her at the moment, then only she can absorb what is positive and think about the Savior.

I did WhatsApp to Sister Peggy in the evening about my visit to Sister Sandy. She encouraged me that it is a good counsel that we just treat everything as a learning path, and most of the time we do not get anything we want in life to run smooth, the trick is to go along with it and get better in time.

Sister Peggy further encouraged for my efforts being an awesome ministering sister and a tool to Heavenly Father to reach out to one o His daughter. She asked me to stay faithful and steadfast in the gospel despite my challenges, as I will be guided and things will get better in time.

I know that the Lord will reveal to us and that is true especially when we seek His divine help to serve others.