A Calling…

Today I was indeed really happy when I was going to the Church, because we went to the Church as a family. Alvin was back last night for this week Chinese New Year. He will be back to work on Thursday as he need to rush back to oversee his job site as the job site need to handover by March.

During the second hour of the Sunday School class, I was called to meet Branch President before the class ended. After I sat down, Branch President mentioned the purpose of meeting me was to extend a calling to me. I was calm until he continue and said that the calling as the Relief Society President. I was shocked and do not know how to respond to him.

I do not expect this at all… I can expect any callings but Relief Society? It is such a big and heavy weight calling! I told President that, there are so many sisters in the branch whom have more experienced and with the membership longer than me, more qualify than I do.

President told me that when he prayed for inspirations and my name came out. I was really really stunned and shocked. I know that I cannot say no on the spot that moment because I remembered that Sister Peggy did tell me not once but many times that accept the calling whatever calling which is come to you.

I still feel it is so amazed me and I asked President that is there any other recommendations from others that why I am the one whom been called for this position. President told me that it is the inspiration that he received.

President further expressed that, I am not the one whom will do all the works, as there are still counsellors sisters and secretary that will help me. As now Sister Annie is well worth in the gospel knowledge and she still can be assigned in helping the teaching in the Relief Society classes; whereby Sister Saffron is well worth in the activities and she is good doing it.

President said Relief Society President main job is ministering the sisters. When he told me that, suddenly at that point of time in my heart I know that the calling is really comes from the Lord, because I ‘asked’ for it.

Last November, after I have been released from the Primary, I felt that my burden have been lifted. I did pray to Heavenly Father that, I would want to focus more on ministering, reading the scriptures and prayer. I want to improve my ministering and want to do my best to minister the sisters in my care list. But I do not expect it come in such a big calling like this.

President asked me to go back to pray about it and discuss with Alvin on this and I can let him know by next week. I asked him who can I talk to besides Alvin. President said that I can talk with Sister Peggy as she is the current Relief Society President. She might can advise me on the things which I might need to do.

Deep down in my heart, I know that this is the work that the Lord wants me to do. I know that this is true because I indeed really feel the Lord lately as I want to draw near to Him, and He draws near to me. I can start to learn to open my eyes to see, my ears to hear and my heart to feel what the Lord wants me to do. It is really a precious learning experiences for me.

Teaching Assignment

Last night I was preparing a journal for Sister Sandy. The reason being is I am thinking invite her to write and keep a gratitude journal. This might be good for her because when she write, she can relate to her own experiences, then she will start to feel, then hopefully the desire will come – the desire to draw near to the Savior.

I came across this scripture when I was browsing through the pages in My Foundation for Self-Reliance.

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

~ John 10:10

The next question is:

What is an abundant life?

The following question is:

Do you believe there are solutions to your problems? How can we qualify for the Lord’s power to assist us?

This is the first scripture and first two question that we discussed in our class, that we learned during our Personal Finances for Self-Reliance class last year in the church. I felt that she might get inspired and hope that she would really write and keep a journal.

Later around noon time, I received a message from Sister Annie that she have a lesson for me to teach in Relief Society on 10th February 2019, which is the following Sunday. It is a October 2018 General Conference talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf – Believe, Love, Do.

Sister Annie hope I will take the time to read, ponder over the message contains therein, pray and let her know if I am able to teach. She has prayed and know the Lord has inspired her to choose the right.Every sister in Relief Society will be given an opportunity to teach a lesson in Relief Society Meeting. She asked me do not worry if I can not or maybe next time only assign to me.

After that, I opened the Gospel Library App in my phone and listened to the talk. I was not sure whether I can do it or not. Suddenly, I heard the scripture John 10:10 in Elder Uchtdorf’s talk - “I ​​am come that they might have ​​​life​, and that they might have ​it​ more ​​​abundantly​.”

I was thinking about the scripture last night, then I heard it again in the talk. I think I might found some inspiration from this talk. These few weeks I have experienced things like this. So I think I should take up this teaching assignment from Sister Annie.

I messaged Sister Annie that I hope I able to do this because for the past 3 years I was teaching children, and now is sisters.. the approach is totally different!

Sister Annie messaged me that as she was thinking about who to teach this lesson, my name never fail to constantly came to her mind and heart, thus she just obeyed and asked me.

She consoled me that teaching sisters  is much easier than children, none is better than the other but with humble hearts and humility we as sisters learn and grow together. She further said that we as sisters help each other. The Lord uses us for His righteous purposes. He wants us be faithful to bless someone within our reach.

Facing and Resisting Temptation

I was reading Matthew Chapter 4 this morning. It talked about how Satan tempted Jesus. From that account, I know that Satan targets our weakest or most vulnerable areas and repeatedly tempted us.

Satan tried to appeal to the desire to satisfy physical appetite when tempted Jesus during fasting, to turn stones into bread; Satan promised rewards that were not his to give and that he could not provide when Satan’s offer to give Jesus the kingdom of the world.

In my case, that is Alvin is my weakest point, that is why the Satan keeps on disturb my emotion and my mind trying to distract my focus unto Jesus Christ. Satan keep on rise up my doubts towards Alvin, and of coarse I do not have the confident and trust in Alvin due to my previous experiences.

Now I know why my ministering sisters ask me to do and focus on the things I supposed to do and put my thoughts and feelings of Alvin aside. When I do not think much about him, I am really doing good and fine. When my thoughts and feelings start to shift to Alvin, then all the uneasy feelings, doubts, suspects mind will start to come back.

Another lesson I learned from this account, is that even Jesus Christ the Son of God too, responded to each of Satan’s temptations by quoting from the scriptures. When were call and apply truths taught in the scriptures, we can resist the devil’s temptations.

That is the reason why we need to read the scriptures daily, because scriptures are the word of God. And, that is the reason why our Prophets always asked us to feast upon the word of God and also the Book of Mormon.

I learned about this in the scripture study today. I can feel that as Heavenly Father wants me to know and learn about this. Suddenly as my eyes and mind is opened at once and see that. And I understand why my ministering sisters advice me all these while.

I can feel Heavenly Father’s love to me and my family.  I know that what I learned today is true and I should learn to be like Jesus Christ to resist the temptations! And, try to become like Jesus Christ!

Continue to Minister

I had a sleepless night last night. My mind was distracted and I was emotionally disturbed I am not happy with my current state. I have given much thought to the tele-conversation with Alvin.

This morning I WhatsApp Alvin and apologized to him that if previously he had told me about dealing with Sister Sandy I did not listen to his words, as I did remember he mentioned before.

I called Sister Peggy this morning to tell her all about last night’s tele-conversation. I do feel troubled and not comfortable at all. She consoled me that it was normal and she had been through the same experience as I did.

She asked me to just follow my heart, do which is comfortable to me and do not push myself to do the thing which I do not want to. If that thing is beyond my limit, just say no and stop. I feel the same way too.

Sister Peggy counseled that there might be other things which I can do for Sister Sandy such as, give her an inspiring scripture verses or General Conference quotes, and some ideas about Self-Reliance too. After my tele-conversation with Sister Peggy, I felt better.

Around 110.00 am Sister E Chin texted me to check whether I am going back hometown to celebrate Chinese New Year. I just replied to her no and I gave her a call. I need to talk to her. It feels as if the Lord prompted E Chin to message me, and it is needed at the right time when I need someone to talk.

I shared with her what was happening last night and my uneasy feeling and fear when I want to do the ministering work further. E Chin advised me that I should not be fear. There is reason why one particular sister would placed under Alvin and my ministering assignment. May be I have something that other sisters do not have to help this particular sister.

It is just like how she and Chelsea minister me. E Chin gives me some advices and some ideas on how to minister and she asked me to pray to Heavenly Father seeking for His guidance in helping this particular sister. She asked me to suit up with bullet proof armour too!

I feel really much better after talked to E Chin. I really do believe that my ministering sisters do know my needs and they indeed are guided by the Spirit! It is just like I have been refill with the fresh spring of water and it is totally a different feelings, I have been lifted up!

I have been inspired by Sister Peggy’s ideas about the Self-Reliance. I prayed and there are some ideas came to my mind on how to minister Sister Sandy better. The ideas which she shared about Self-Reliance is really true.

After I have given much thoughts about it,three ministering sisters which we have Sister Yong Yong, Sister Hoor and myself are may be we attended the Self-Reliance classes. This might be the reason why we are put together. I do not know and still not sure and I still need to pray and discuss with both ministering sisters.

It is just like why and how Chelsea and E Chin are my ministering sisters. We too, can do the work like how they minister to me.

Feel Defeated Again…

After what was happened yesterday, today is a peaceful day. I was communicating with Sister Yong Yong as she is Sister Sandy’s ministering sister to see how we can further assist her spiritually.

I decided to give her a call to check on her how is she doing after I have settled down in the home. It was almost 9pm. She was quite offensive during starting of the conversation, but eventually she became relaxed a bit and started to tell me the whole story of her workplace stuffs which I think I need to do is to listen what she has to say.

It took almost 45 minutes and I knew that Alvin must be calling me but unable to get through because I was engaged online. I ended the tele-conversation by telling her that I need to call Alvin as we always will call each other at the night during this time.

Then, I sensed that Sister Sandy’s tone changed and she said that if I need to tell the sisters in the Church about what she had been through and told me that if I am free find one day go to the Labour Department with her together.

At that point of time, I feel really uneasy and not comfortable at all because she was sort of commanding me to go and settled her problem with her. I said to her that, I would seek the counsel from the Branch President on this. She did not say anything and we just casually ended the call.

I feel exhausted after having the tele-conversation with her. I called Alvin after that, I just told him what was happening for the past 2 days and I just totally feel mind drained because of Sister Sandy’s attitude. After he listened to what I have to say, then Alvin told me that, that was exactly what was happening years back during she just baptised into our Church.

Alvin purposely applied half day leave to drive her to the Vietnam Embassy to apply some official documentation. In the end, she was not satisfied in what the Vietnamese Officers requested, even would want to ask Alvin to argue with the officers for her.

Thus, Alvin felt that was the most that he can assist, further more the matter he assist her was her personal matter. That is the reason why after her case, he less and less do his home teaching as it is sometimes so burdening.

He advised me that we strive to assist and do our part and do whatever we can, if the matters are beyond our limitation, we cannot further pursue anymore. Why doing ministering so difficult?

This is the first time I am putting thoughts into it and want to improve my ministering work, and such things happened. It would definitely make me think twice when I think of ministering further. I really feel a little bit scare off after this. I have a sleepless night…

Draining Out…

Today I was feeling totally drained out. I do not know how to describe what I have been through.

I imagine myself as a sugar cane that have been freshly squeezed out the juice inside, already dried out of juice inside; Or I imagine myself as a dying fish laying on the deck of the dock, trying my very best to flip myself towards the open sea.

The feeling was exactly like that. The living water within me has been dried out, and I am thirst for the living water.

I received call from Sister Sandy from her workplace. She sounds so desperate and asked me to immediately go to her workplace because her employer had just fired her and asked her to leave immediately.

I was shocked by her call and I told her that I was unable to do that because I was still working. I just gave her advise that she should at least took some form of official letter from her employer that should guaranteed her salary. She noted and ask me to look for other people that could go and help her, and hang up the phone.

I could not imagine who else can go over to her workplace in the middle of the day and everyone sure have their own matters to settle and do. I gave Sister Sandy a call back and told her that no one that I know off have time to go over to her workplace. I think she was in the middle of talking to her employer and she just noted and hang up the phone.

After an hour she called again and asked me what is the address of the office of Labour Department is and she wanted to go there and asked me to go together with her. I told her that I was unable to go out because I was working and my bosses were in the office. Again, she asked me to get from anybody else that can help her this.

I was telling her that just calm herself down and drive safely and just went straightway home. She kept on telling me and insisted that she wanted to go and lodged a complaint to the Labour Department, kept on asking me to go with her. I told her that I unable to help her on this.

Later in the evening she WhatsApp me a sample of form and asked me about it. It seems to me was a complaint form sample. It seems to me that she was able to settle herself or there was someone helping her. This gave me a thought that may be her ways of doing things is like this – she will call all the persons she know and see whoever that can help her first.

She later asked me what time I would be off today. I told her that after working hour, I need to fetch the children home, and cook for them and watch over their homework. It would be around 9pm already. Later she asked me if I would be free tomorrow. I told her that I have to work tomorrow as well.

My mind was indeed distracted today. Exhausted. I did call Sister Peggy and inform her about what happened today, so that at least she would know the sisters current circumstances.

Prior to this, I did have discussions with the sisters whom minister or communicate with her, just to know her more. It seems like her strong character has frighten those whom wants to minister her. Today including me as well. I wonder how am I going to minister further after today?

I really do not feel comfortable at all. I feel bad that I was unable to help her today, but to me it is the problem that she should face it by her own. Because she is the one who make the choice that she wants to report to the Labour Department and it is her personal matter.It is not a right way to throw her problem to another person to solve for her. She should learn to solve it by her own.

Her negative energy is so strong that able to suck all the energy I have whenever talk with her. I really feel bad and a little guilt on this. I need to really really pray to the Lord on this, and what should I do? How should I minister further?

I Will Go and Do

After the Church yesterday, I managed to catch up with Sister Anita before she went off as she has relatives visits from United States. Together with Sister Robinia, we handed her a journal which I bought in Mr. DIY. I handmade additional their favourite scripture in colour printing lamination on the front cover, some conference talk quotes in the inner cover pages.

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men,save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

~ 1 Nephi 3:7

This is Sister Anita’s favourite scripture. She shared with us last November during when we start to minister her. Sister Anita shared with us that this is one of the first scripture that she memorize as a kid. It gives her motivation that when God instructed her, He also gives her way to do what He asks.

At that point of time, I was not really given much thoughts or pondering about that scripture. After the spiritual experiences that I have been through with Sister Yong Yong’s favourite scripture, I start to ponder about the Sister Anita’s favourite scriptures which she shared with me…

Our family were sealed in the Cebu City Philippines Temple in the year of 2015. That was our family first visit to the holy temple. Alvin and I were having our first endowment at the Cebu City Philippines Temple. Both of us did the ordinances for our deceased parents on that temple trip.

Ever since we did not return to the temple, even my heart wants to go back to the temple at least once a year. After I came back from the Cebu temple, I started to do the research and did family history, and now I have 5 names that can do the ordinances for them. The thoughts of attending the temple would come into my mind on and off reminding me that I have not done the ordinances for them yet.

Last year Issac came back home and told me that there will be a Kuala Lumpur District Youth Temple Trip this year and the youth were asked to save a Ringgit a day to go to the temple. The District Youth Presidency was decided to go to Hong Kong Temple.

I was really happy because the Church teach Issac to save for the temple trip and pay tithe at the same time. I was thinking that this would be his first ever temple trip and do the baptism ordinances for the dead and it is very important to him and to us as a family.

May be Alvin can accompany him to the temple and witness his first baptism ordinance for the dead and this would be meaningful to both of them as father and son spiritual trip. Both of them can help me to do the temple ordinances for my both grandfathers, it would be meaningful to me.

I was feeling a little disappointed at the same time as Annabelle would only turn into 12 years old officially in October 2019. The Kuala Lumpur District Youth Temple Trip is going to be on 28th – 30th March 2019, which mean she cannot make it on that trip.

It would be wonderful if all of us can go back to the temple as a family together, and I can do the temple ordinances for my both grandmothers at the same time as well. It was my wishful thinking in my heart.

Last November after Sister Anita shared her favourite scripture to us, the news of age changes for youth progression and ordinances announced. I still remember on that Saturday morning when I received the email from the Church, I was reading the mail through my IPhone. I was reading the email again and again, it seems so unbelievable! My once a wishful thought might become reality! The Lord knows my desires!

First, Issac can go to the temple at RM300 only and the rest would be subsidized by the Church; then, now after the changes that the Church announced, now Annabelle also can go to the temple at RM300 too. It is a blessing for me! Both Issac and Annabelle can perform the baptism ordinances for my grandparents. Alvin and I can witness their first baptism in the temple, and that is the reason why both of us wanted so badly to join the youth temple trip. That is the reason why I wrote to President Van Cott and Sister Claire on this.

I was thinking that it is already a blessing from the Lord that both children able to go to the temple with our limited financial. Then, it came the good news that Sister Claire brought to me last week as I can able to help out to assist the Young Women leaders during this KL District Youth Temple Trip, and the Church would cover my flight and accommodation. It is indeed another mercy and blessing which the Lord has for me and my family.

I was preparing the little journal for Sister Anita the other day, I was searching online on her favourite scripture. The scripture verse was in front my eyes all the time. I was not so sensitive to it at all.

Suddenly I realized that the Lord really have a work for me to do in the temple. And He is so mercy and gracious that He indeed prepare the way for me to go to the temple! The Lord is waiting for me there!

I was so touched by the Spirit when suddenly I opened my eyes to see this verse – 1 Nephi 3":7 that the Lord wants me to see and the things He wants me to do! The Lord is waiting me to go back to the temple, He has a work for me to do. I know I have to do the temple works for my ancestors! I know He will have further instructions for me.

It was such a spiritual experience that I have been through. To reaffirm what I have in mind, Sister Shiyu too shared with us the same scripture verse 1 Nephi 3:7 as her favourite scripture. It is really not a co-incidence that two sisters share the same scripture at the same time!

I shared with Sister Anita my testimony and I encourage her to write whatever the thoughts and experiences down, because that is how I discover the things that the Lord wants me to do. Further more, we would never know the things we write would be the light that lights us up when we need it.

From now till the time our family go to the temple, 1 Nephi 3:7 would be the light that lights my path bright.