Peace, Be Still

This morning I woke up around 4.00am due to nature call as I need to go to the toilet. After came back and lay down on my bed, I felt so sad thinking about my relationship with Alvin. I just could not hold the bitterness in me and just cried out to Heavenly Father.

I felt as if I was drowning. As I was about to sink and did not know how to keep my head above water. As I started to doubt the existence and purpose of myself in this world.

I was not in a mood of preparing lunch for the day, thus I went to the regular Kopitiam to take away chicken rice for the children’s lunch.

As I was driving to workplace, a though came into my mind that it’s time for me to listen to the 2nd talk of the week before this Sunday. This is the goal that I had been delayed since the General Conference. Supposing is a talk a week, ended up 2 talks a week just to make sure I able to catch up before next General Conference which will be on April 2021.

When I was browsing thru the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ channel on YouTube App on my phone (seriously it is not a good example to do it while driving), I scroll down to the my planned 2nd talk – Peace, Be Still.

‘Peace, Be Still’

by Lisa L. Harkness

I started to listen and suddenly I just smile while listening to the talk. I could not help but wink at my phone, realising that this is not my planned talk, but the Lord Himself!

After what had happened this morning, moments when I forgot that there is the Savior whom is the Himself to say, “Peace, Be Still.” I could not stopped but that instance my eyes were filled with tears.

This talk mentioned about the storm happened during Jesus and His disciples took a boat to pass over to the other side of the Sea of Galilee in Mark 4:37-41.

Jesus asked His loving disciples:

“Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”

Sister Lisa L. Harkness taught,

“There is a mortal tendency, even a temptation, when we find oursleves in the middle of trials, troubles, or afflictions to cry out, “Master, carest thou not that I perish? Save me.” Even Joseph Smith pleaded from an awful prison, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”

“Certainly, the Savior of the world understands our mortal limitations, for He teaches us how to feel peace and calm even when the winds blow fiercely around us and billowing waves threathen to sink our hopes.”

How can I forget Him that what I already know? that He is already here with me? I realised that, indeed I do not know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ much than They know me…

Because if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are with me all the way, They will be with me through all of these steps on my covenant path. And, They are still so patient with me on my forgetfulness and this little faith me.

“In times of turmoil our faith can feel stretched to the limits of our endurance and understanding. Waves of fear can distract us, causing us to forget God’s goodness, thus leaving our perspective short-sighted and out of focus. Yet it is in these rough stretches of our journey that our faith can be not only tried but fortified.”

Sister Lisa L. Harkness further taught that,

“Regardless of our circumstances, we can intentionally make effort to build and increase our faith in Jesus Christ. it is strengthened when we remember that we are children of God and that He loves us. Our faith grows as we experiment on the word of God with hope and diligence, trying our very best to follow Christ’s teachings. Our faith increases as we choose to believe rather than doubt, forgive rather than judge, repent rather than rebel. Our faith is refined as we patiently rely on the merits and mercy and grace of the Holy Messiah.”

I love the quotes from President Russell M. Nelson in this talk from 2 different address of General Conference,

“We do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.

“Start with your children. … Let them feel your faith, even when sore trials come upon you. Let your faith be focused on our loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. … Teach each precious boy or girl that he or she is a child of God, created in His image, with a sacred purpose and potential. Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed.”²³

It is true that I should be the example to both my children. I am glad that both Issac and me shared the little silver lining and witness the promptings of the Holy Ghost that let us gained testimony and knowledge.

“Recently, President Nelson promised “that decreased fear and increased faith will follow” as we “begin anew truly to hear, hearken to, and heed the words of the Savior.”²⁶

It is true that when I take moments of Peace and Stillness to really feel Him, and think about Him, the fear will decrease and replace by increase faith even though is little.

I am grateful for what I have learned today. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Physical Goal : Focus on Fitness - Get Moving ~ Running

Physical Goal Purpose : Focus on Fitness

Your body is a gift from God, and it’s up to you to keep it strong and healthy. Regular exercise can strengthen your heart and other muscles, increase your stamina and confidence, and lower your stress.

Goal Idea #1 : Get Moving - Running

If exercise is not already a regular part of your day, set a goal to get moving for at least 20 minutes 3 times a week. You could walk, jog, bike, hike or anything else that gets your heart rate up and moves your body.

Surprisingly for me, physical goal is the first goal that I had set for myself when I gave a serious thought when I scrolled through the Gospel Living App on my phone last month.

It was also due to an article that I read on Facebook regards to exercise woman and lazy woman. It indeed motivated me to seriously to put this into action.

I make a plan because I have to start where I am, because I know if I go further or faster than I am ready for, my body cannot adapt quickly enough and I will get injured. Moreover I am over 40s, have a BMI of overweight, together with the family history of heart disease, thus I need to be extra careful on my workout plan.

In order to make it a habit, I planned to do it every morning at 5.30am, run around within our apartment compounds, may be listening to some workout music and it would be later. After which I was seriously looking for a proper sports bra, as I still have a pair of workout tights and my running sports shoes.

It had been almost come to 3 weeks since the first day I get to ‘walk’. Yes, I start to walk. I need to get regular exercise habit by walking, because the best exercise is the one I will do consistently.

I am not yet come to really running, but I really into this and my love for walking or running constantly grows every day, since day one.

I have started to receive my blessing the day I started walking.

I am more self-discipline now, as I sleep early latest 10.30pm and wake up around 5.00am to 5.15am. I will say a morning prayer and drink a cup of water, before I change into my sports outfit and start my walking now.

I am better planner now, as I need to cook the lunch earlier for the children because both are at home now after my exercise. I will plan ahead and look through of what to cook at the limited time given before go to work.

I have a clearer mind now to read the General Conference talks in the morning and appreciate scripture more. I have a clearer mind to ponder the message behind and how it relates to me.

Getting to move or exercise just like how I apply the gospel principles I learned in the book into my daily life and put into actions. This is indeed like Alma said in Alma 37:6, “… by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise”

It is the same like walking or running. I keep on walking or running everyday, and increase my workout time by 2-3 minutes and eventually 5-10 minutes every time. It does not seems extra hard or extra difficult. By doing this I know that I am getting better and grow personally and, today I am better than who I was yesterday.

These are all the blessings I received since the day I started running. I know that, there are more to come. I am grateful to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for all I learned through – this small step of just want to Get Moving.

Faith is for the Future ~ Issac Reminds Me…

My mind was cluttered in the evening after the children and I came back from our dinner at the Medan Selera. It was going worse when I think of Alvin was not in the home as according to him, went for outstation.

All of the negative thoughts, all the doubts were flushing into my mind and heart like a brown rushing water. Where would he be? Is he really there as what he had told us? Is there another woman or the same woman again this time?…

After taking my bath, I could not stand but I talked to Issac what I felt inside my mind and heart when he was sitting at the study desk looking at his hand phone. He just looked at me with the puzzle and helpless impression, and keep quiet listening to his mum murmuring.

I sat down on the floor, taken both my small pocket notebook and my action book, browsing through the talk yesterday about Alma and Alma the younger. Suddenly Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk ‘Remember Lot’s Wife’ came to my mind. I just look it up in the YouTube Channel, thus just play the video.

“Remember Lot’s Wife”: Faith Is for the Future

by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I listened to the talk while trying to read through yesterday talk, but Elder Holland’s humour way indeed attracted me all the time and I started to put down the things I was doing and listened carefully to his address.

Issac was sitting next to me, and both of us were enjoying Elder Holland’s talk. When both of us listen till this point of the the talk,

“That happens in marriages, too, and in other relationships we have. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counselled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.”

Issac stopped the YouTube, he smiled and looked at me and said, “Mum, you know, every time when you tell me all these stuffs, my heart will thinking like… here we go again.”

He pointed his finger to my hand phone which he paused the YouTube, “Now, you should learned from this talk, it is already pass and it is ancient wound you know?” Issac winked at me.

I cannot help but laugh! It seems as this little child of mine already grown up become like a little man!

I can see clearly the happiness or rather the relief in his eyes, signally to me as his heart was jumping in joy as “Yes! This is what I needed the most and God had saved me from my crazy mum!”

Issac touched my hand phone's screen with his finger, then the talk continued,

“Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!”

“Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of your landfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?” Splat.”

We looked at each other and laugh again. I paused the video again, and wanted to share with Issac my thought.

“Issac, do you know that this talk I had already listened sometime ago and I listened so many times. I do not know why when I sat down just now just after talked to you, this talk came into my mind. It is just like the Lord knows you and wants to share with me. You know what I mean right?”

He just nodded his head and smiles. I guess both of us experience the same tender mercies moments from the Lord, but it was different things we learned or testimony that we gained for both of us.

We continued for the rest of the video:

“And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.”

“Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worse than Miniver Cheevy, and in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least there he and she were only destroying themselves. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighbourhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.”

“Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).”

“The proviso, of course, is that repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebasing someone with their earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!”

“Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.”

“You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbours. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get—and neither did Laman and Lemuel and a host of others in the scriptures.”

“This is an important matter to consider at the start of a new year—and every day ought to be the start of a new year and a new life. Such is the wonder of faith and repentance and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ…”

Just before I sat down on the floor, I looked at my pocket notebook as it was totally blank and I wonder if today there is not such or single spiritual moment for me to jot down or for me to feel grateful for?

And now, here it comes… reminds me that He is there with me all the time. This experience teaches me that, He is with my children all the time when they need His guidance too.

I love these final few quotes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

“To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”

“…When we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives…”

“…Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever…”

I am so grateful for the tender mercy experience that both Issac and me have this evening. It does filled and warmth my heart!

A Sister’s Testimony

感谢陈弟兄，为我们分享充满灵性的课程。（憑著信心，一切都能实现）我很喜欢这节经文。

在现实生活中，多数人，先要看到證明才会相信事实。而在灵性上，是先有坚定的信心 ，通过考验才获得见证。

我想和大家分享，有关通过信心面对考验，而获得的祝福。

在2000年，我们一家人到香港圣殿作家庭印证 ！过后我先生失业了，整整六个月，因为，他老板的公司经济出现问题，而且又欠我先生的薪水，连续欠了很长的时间，我先生在没有辦法的情况之下，最后就自己辞职。

失业后，我们要面对许多的考验。首先，我先生正面临退休的年龄，寻找工作，处处碰壁。刚好我女儿，她们正在国外读大学，需要开销。而家庭的经济来源全靠我先生来支持。

在这段期间，每个星期，我们都坚持从Sitiawan驾车去参加怡保的圣餐聚会以及教会的活动，来回路程需要三个小时。我们也坚持，十一奉献。为教会服务，執行我们的召唤。

在那段长时间，我先生没有工作，难免，会有许多难听的话，我很但心也很难过，我不明白，为何去了圣殿之后，没有得到更好的祝福，反而要面对这难以接受的考验？我多么希望有人，来安慰和鼓励我，给我一点点的信心和力量。我和我先生，不断的将心声向天父祷告，希望主能给我们的答案。

过了一段时期，我心中感觉平静下来，一种强有力的声音提醒我，只要通过考验期，祝福就会到来。我一直谨记这句话，坚持到底，继续提醒自己，考验期过后，祝福就会到来。

将近六个月，我先生真的找到一份不错的工作，待遇也好，而且以前被拖欠的薪水，也慢慢的拿回来。美好的祝福也跟着到来。我很感恩天父对我家庭的爱和怜悯，在我软弱的时候，恩赐圣灵给我的信心和力量，使我在软弱中更加坚强，来克服这个难关。

弟兄姐妹们！從這考驗中，让我体会到，如果我們勇敢而充滿信心地面對考驗，我见證，天父會祝福我們。主会为我们预备美好的道路。以上，我所说的，是奉主耶稣基督的圣名，阿们！

Today there is a sister named Nancy put up this testimony in the Mandarin speaking Sunday School group chat. This is a very touching story about what her family been through after they sealed their family for all time and eternity in Hong Kong Temple.

After reading her testimony, I feel as it is such so familiar with our family’s experience and immediately bring my memories back to after we were back from the Hong Kong Temple with Kuala Lumpur District Malaysia Youth Temple Trip last year.

I retrieve back the journal entry that I had made last year pertaining to this part of experience in our life, my heart feel warmth and grateful for the tender mercies and grace from the Lord Jesus Christ.

Our family came out stronger and both Issac and Annabelle are more mature now and grown up become a little man and little woman. Alvin is here and we are so fortunate that both of us still have our jobs to earn an income to have food on the table, to pay our finance loans and daily expenditure, especially during this Covid-19 Pandemic period.

I read about my feeling of gratitude to the Lord as what I had wrote during that time about one and half year ago, I still can feel the gratitude that was bosom inside my heart:

“I am so touch that I know that all these happened because Heavenly Father knows that I am trying my best to be faithful for the sake of protecting my family. I can feel Heavenly Father’s love for me and my family.”

“The Lord gave us both the callings to serve in the Church. He extended the callings to us so that both of us can serve and learn from our callings. I know Alvin’s calling might be a test to him, but I know that as I encourage him to continue to serve, everything will be alright. Everything will become better and better.”

“I am grateful for my calling too as Relief Society President. It gives me opportunity to learn to communicate, to learn how to care, to learn how to see and feel the Savior’s love for all the sisters in the branch.”

“It will be the same to me as how it happened to Paul. I know that sometimes it is really heartache, hurt and feel the pain of the challenges that I have to face, but I know that I can go through it with the grace of the Lord.”

“I know that I will be blessed lots more after everything I have been through with cheerful heart and continue to be myself – His special, unique and beautiful daughter!”

I think it is the prompting of the Spirit to bring my remembrance that how the Lord love me and my family!

And, I still want to say, Amen!

Watch Ye Therefore, and Pray Always

General Conference already passed about almost 2 months ago, and my mind is just so occupied with so many daily chores and tasks. For the past few Saturdays morning, I had listened to the General Conference talks when I was mopping the floor.

I yet to have a piece of mind to sit down, read the talks one by one. I thought about making my own reading schedule, about 2 talks a week so that I still can make it before the next General Conference on April 2021.

‘Watch Ye Therefore, and Pray Always’

by President M. Russell Ballard

I felt inspired start by reading this talk today and indeed I think I really need this at this moment. Firstly, set a goal to pray morning and night with purpose has been an unfulfilled goal annually. Secondly, I think it is time for me to really take action and responsible for the goal that I had set for years…

I have the urge of reading this talk because of the things that happened to me recently. Negative thoughts keep on comes into my mind every time when I think of relationship between me and Alvin. Sometimes I just have a thought of,

“I think it is enough for both of us! It is useless and whatever I tried also cannot bring his heart and mind back to me. So pathetic!”

“Lord, I think I am the weakest daughter of yours among all. I still unable to comprehend the lessons that Thou wants me to learn in this relationship. I really indeed can love a man for my whole eternity life, should I just walk away from this and go experience whoever that can love me whole heartedly? I think I would be much more happy.”

My heart was sinking to the bottom of the sea when Alvin mentioned that he will be going outstation due to job purpose more often now. And tomorrow he will need to go Muadzam Shah and might stay a night or two at Kuantan as well.

Only God would know if he is telling the truth, but my instinct tell me that he is not. As I was taking my bath in the evening, I could not help but thinking of my personal challenges and feel so hopeless at that instance.

Something about the General Conference talk ‘Watch Ye Therefore, and Pray Always’ by President M. Russell Ballard had brought to my mind. Something caught my ears and eyes when I was listening and reading the talk:

“Sincerely praying for those who may be considered our enemies demonstrates our belief that God can change our hearts and the hearts of others. Such prayers should strengthen our resolve to make whatever changes are necessary in our own lives, families, and communities.”

“The scriptures are full of examples of people of faith who combined prayer with action to make a difference in their own lives and in the lives of others…”

President Ballard taught a few examples of the prophets in the Book of Mormon that had made a difference. Suddenly a thought came into my mind – how Prophet Alma had prayed to the Lord concerning his rebellious child, Alma the Younger, resulted the visit of the angel upon his son. In Mosiah 27:14, it reads

“14 And again, the angel said: Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightiest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and the authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.”

A thought that is very clear that came into my mind that, I should not have lose faith in Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I know that the path ahead between me and Alvin might continue to grow more challenging in the coming days. One thing that for sure is the Lord is with me. President Ballard said,

“… I assure each one of you that the Lord knows you, that He is aware of your concern and anguish, and that He loves you – intimately, personally, deeply, and forever.”

“Praying for justice, peace, the poor, and the sick is often not enough. After we kneel in prayer, we need to get up from our knees and do what we can to help – to help both ourselves and others.”

“Brothers and sister, I urge you to redouble your commitment to prayer. I urge you to pray in your closets, in your daily walk, in your home, in your wards, and always in your hearts.”

“Prayer can change our own lives. Motivated by sincere prayer, we can improve and help others to do the same.”

I have not even yet exercise my faith and kneel in my own prayer, seeking His counsel in everything that I do, listening to His answers, learning to hear Him, and acting on the promptings that I receive.

I have not yet try my best in doing all those things, and what qualify me to just give up on this? But how? Pray to Him more often, and seeking His directions or approval on the things that I plan and decide to do.

I could not stop my tears at that moment. I talked to myself, “I think I have just feel the Spirit and this is what He tells me that I supposed to do next – keep on trying to become a better version of me.”

Fun Making Waffle Day 22 Nov 2021

We are trying out our new toy today – a waffle maker. We have fun making waffle day!

Making the waffle mixture

The final product

A Surprise Welcome Gift for Seminary

Today, Issac and I went to Church for our tithing settlement interviews after our church online sacrament meeting. We met President Augustine at the new chapel in his office.

After our interview, President Augustine took out a paper bag and told us that these presents are from her daughter Sister Anita. Anita was called a seminary teacher who teaches the youths in the Church in seminary.

Next year Annabelle would turn age 14, and it will be her first year to attend seminary class every Saturday morning. After came back home, Issac and Annabelle opened out their presents happily.

It was a box of chocolate for each of them and with slight notes from Sister Anita. Both are happy about the little surprise welcome gift from their seminary teacher for next year.

Here are all the photos of them and the small notes from their caring teacher ^^