Looking Inside: Now is the time for me to… Grow in Humility

In this week, our weekly Institute application is to write and complete the following sentence: "Now is the time for me to…" with one way we will act on being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Our assignment is to pay particular attention to the first thing that comes to our mind since this may be a prompting from the Holy Ghost.

When I saw this assignment, I immediately thought of the Christlike Attribute Journal that I wanted to focus on humility, which is one of the Christlike attributes. Besides that, we have to be specific about what I need to do to increase my discipleship in this area: Humility.

I wrote about this earlier at the beginning weeks while starting my Christlike Attributes Journal, and I wrote down my planning and places to focus on and follow through for this entire semester. There are a lot of habits that I need to break and relationships that need to change, especially my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

"The first step on the path of discipleship begins, luckily enough, in the exact place where we stand! We do not have to prequalify to take that first step. It doesn’t matter if we are rich or poor. There is no requirement to be educated, eloquent, or intellectual. We do not have to be perfect or well-spoken or even well-mannered.

“You and I can walk in the path of discipleship today. Let us be humble; let us pray to our Father in Heaven with all our heart and express our desire to draw close to Him and learn of Him.

“Have faith. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened [see Matthew 7:7 (Links to an external site.)]. Serve the Lord by serving others. Become an active participant in your ward or branch. Strengthen your family by committing to live the principles of the gospel. Be of one heart and of one mind in your marriage and in your family.

“Now is the time to adjust your lives to be able to have a temple recommend and use it. Now is the time to have meaningful family home evenings, to read the word of God, and to speak to our Heavenly Father in earnest prayer. Now is the time to fill our hearts with gratitude for the Restoration of His Church, for living prophets, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood power that blesses our lives. Now is the time to embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, become His disciples, and walk in His way” (Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles The Way of the Disciple (Links to an external site.), Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 75–78.)

I was supposed to focus on this week: praying to Father to help me grow in humility. I realized that I have difficulties in praying to the Father. When I started to pray, my mind was constantly filled with so many 'To-Do Lists' reminding me I needed to do and follow-up.

Sometimes, thoughts would slip into my mind while praying, and my mind would begin to wander around. Most of the time, my prayer would not be complete in Jesus's name. This situation indeed disturbs me for quite some time, yet I do not find a better solution or determination to address this issue.

"Nets are generally defined as devices for capturing something. In a … more important sense, we might define a net as anything that entices or prevents us from following the call of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God.

“Nets in this context can be our work, our hobbies, our pleasures, and, above all else, our temptations and sins. In short, a net can be anything that pulls us away from our relationship with our Heavenly Father or from His restored Church. …

“It is impossible to list the many nets that can ensnare us and keep us from following the Savior. But if we are sincere in our desire to follow Him, we must straightway leave the world’s entangling nets and follow Him.

“… Our lives are so easily filled with appointments, meetings, and tasks. It is so easy to get caught in a multitude of nets that sometimes even a suggestion of breaking free of them can be threatening and even frightening to us.

“Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are—as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don’t matter.

“That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance—that is essential” (Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Follow Me (Links to an external site.), Ensign, May 2002, 15–16).

After learning and studying the truths I learned about discipleship this week from the scriptures, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It is time for me to address this so that I can increase my discipleship in this. Prayer is fundamental in getting to know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I expressed my concern to Issac and sought his opinion and advice. He paused and thought for a while. He suggested that I think of Jesus Christ or remember His face when I pray. That was preciously the thought that came into my mind when I pondered how can I improve this problem of mine.

The other thing that came into my mind is President Russell M. Nelson's counsel on the revelation.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith set a pattern for us to follow in resolving our questions. Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom, we may ask of God,⁸ the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. He sought personal revelation, and his seeking opened this last dispensation.

In like manner, what will your seek open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will "grow into the principle of revelation." ⁹”

Another thought that came into my mind is that I need to write down before I pray. Think about the things I need or want to pray for or things that I am thankful for. Writing all these down to help me remember and focus on the concerns that I want to communicate with Father. I think I should practice to incorporate all these more fully in my prayer.

• My prayers are earnest and sincere (see Enos 1:4).

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Grow in Humility… to be continued

• Pray to our Father to help us grow in humility (see Helaman 3:33–35; Ether 12:27).

Helaman 3:33-35

33 And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church—not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God—

34 And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.

35 Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

I feel as it is so coincident that I would say. I prepared and studied for Institute Lesson 3, which the lesson just uploaded the other day. Usually, I would start to do the reading assignments in MyInstitute App. We were learning about Jehovah's Premortal Life.

There is a conference talk by Elder Richard G. Scott (1928-2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles titled, "Jesus Christ, Our Redeemer." He was bearing his witness about Jesus Christ, and in the conclusion of the talk, he left with these phrases:

"Oh, how grateful we must be for the Atonement wrought by our Redeemer, Jesus Christ! It gives life richness and joy when we live the pattern described in this scripture:

They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

These scripture verses are precisely the same as the above that I wanted to focus on this week. I feel that I did not pray much as often as last time. Thus the first thing I want to focus on is to pray to help me grow humility.

As we fast and pray and yield our hearts to God, He will cause our faith in Jesus Christ to increase and sanctify our hearts despite the hurtful behavior of others.

When I am humble and have faith in Jesus Christ, He will make my weak things strong. These are the promised blessings that came when I learned to be humble, as last week, the scripture study regards the blessings that I would receive.

I always have difficulties in finding the same time, same place, and pray to Heavenly Father. My heart and mind are so occupied with so many things in my daily life.

Setting a goal to pray is not new to me, but every time I could not keep the plan, I made and did it. The same as exercise goal, too, sadly.

Oh.., how I wish I have the determination and means to come closer to the Savior!

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand

Apart from our family conversation story, the first miracle story of looking for our home now is another testimony of recognizing the Lord's hand in my life too.

Can you imagine this home of ours? I bought it through 'auction'? And my girlfriend and I, with no experience at all, went to the auction and managed to auction it down?

I was seriously looking for a new house after learning that Alvin had already purchased a place of his own. It was kind of devastating news to know at that time. The reason being was we had been staying in our USJ1 home for quite some time. It is a low-cost flat. Its location, amenities, and accessibility to the highways and main roads are excellent. Just the environment itself is not so ideal.

Due to it is cheaper in rental, thus attracts most of the foreign workers stay here. The residents here mainly are from a little bit lower than the middle-income class. There are always motorbikes and cars racing in the middle of the night and considered the environment is a bit not so safe nor ideal to raise the children under such environment.

I always dreamed of moving out of this place and getting a better place for the children's sack. This dream does not come true. I feel so hurt and determined that I should look for a better house with a better environment for both children and myself. Thus, the search and hunt for a new house started.

Firstly, I was looking at Subang Jaya and USJ areas as we lived here for quite some time. Sadly, the properties prices here were so high. I was unable to find something within my budget. One requirement that I was looking for is an apartment unit that comes with a swimming pool facility. Both Issac and Annabelle love swimming and play water.

One day I was sitting in front of the computer. I was surfing the internet, as usual, to look for a property. I expanded my search area to the Puchong area, which is just next to USJ. I felt prompted to type in some keywords such as "swimming pool condominium Puchong."

Surprisingly, the images amazed me as I could see a mini Sunway Lagoon swimming pool in one of the search results, and I quickly clicked in to check where the location of the apartment. It is Desa Idaman Residence at Puchong. It is love at first sight! I scrolled through the property website and immediately loved its resort's style and the feel of home it portrays.

Getting to buy a unit in Desa Idaman Puchong had immediately become my goal. I always checked the website if there was a sale from the owner that wanted to let go. After a week or two, I came across a proclamation of sale advertised on the iProperty.com.my website.

After enquiring from the relevant property agent, I got the necessary documents and started doing my homework on the unit I wanted to bid. I went to the property management office to check the outstanding maintenance fees and utility bills, at least get to know how much total monies I need to take out and payout first before the bank reimburses back. Jessie helped me to check if the property had been caveat.

I checked and searched for the existing owner's lifestyle on his Facebook account through checking from his photos how are the conditions of his house are like because we were not able to go in and view. Jessie accompanied me go to the apartment to check the surrounding environment of the apartment.

Till the auction day came, I went to the bank to buy a banker's cheque for the 10% deposit for the value of the auction's property. Jessie and I went for our first-ever property auction. It was indeed quite an extraordinary experience for both of us. It is not like you would go for an auction every time and so frequently unless you work in a company related to it.  There was another interested buyer as well that bid together with us.

Finally, we managed to bid on the apartment unit. Even though I felt it was a bit more than what I expected, I needed to top up the additional monies to the surplus of the 10% deposit of the auctioned price. The required amount was precisely the amount I had for my children's ang pows' monies in my purse. That morning, I was prompted to take along their 'ang pows' monies in my purse as a 'good luck' sign. I felt so blessed for that instant. It is like fated to get this unit.

When I looked for the locksmith to change the locksets of the house, and the first time I walked into the home, the house was all nicely done up. The previous owner had the entire house done up with a lovely plaster ceiling. The unit has a grille door at the unit's main entrance and the yard area, together with all windows in the bedrooms and living room. The air-conditioner points and lighting points were there, without the fittings of course. The previous owner did most of the renovation in the house in good condition, including bathrooms with nice vanity tops. All I needed to do is to install the kitchen cabinets, wardrobes for all the bedrooms, painting, lightings, and air-conditioners only.

I was so stunned then, and I knew it was God's gift!

• I am sincerely grateful for the blessings I have received from the Lord (see Alma 7:23).

Alma 7:23

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

Looking back, it was indeed the Lord’s hand in this most important event that happened in my life, that I got to purchase the dream home I wanted and desired. Sometimes I wonder who am I and how I deserve so much from God? I am indeed grateful when I can see how the Lord shaped my life and His arrangements in my family and my life.

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand…to be continued

After joining the Church, I began to look back and see how the Lord's hand was in my life. I always remember my conversion story the most, and I love to testify how Lord's handcrafted in my life and my family's.

Alvin and I were divorced before. I still remember the night vividly after I put down my phone talked to him. I was so devastated and just looked up and shouted to God and asked Him if He exists, bring my family back together as a whole to me.

That was the first time I prayed to God in Jesus's name. I just told Him that I surrender everything to Him and let Him guide me through, and at that moment, I thought I needed the strength and someone to tell me what to do next. Of course, I wanted my husband back, but I just let God lead me at that moment. If we are fated back together, then it's God's will.

From that first night prayer onward, God started to do His miracles on my and Alvin's paths. There were nights I prayed to God that I would walk into His church one day, but it is not me alone. I will walk in His Church together with my family as a whole. But so many churches? I was thinking in my heart, which one?

It was never an easy process for Alvin and me to get back together, and we were still quarrelling along the way. At some point in time, I felt I wanted to give up. Some thoughts came to mind that "you should do this," which asked me to concentrate on both children, work on my self-reliance, and look for a home for the children and me. I was ignoring those thoughts, and things got worse. Eventually, I just followed the promptings, and things started to get better.

Sister Joyce and brother Felix invited us to their Church when they knew we were looking for Church and going to Church. I remember I talked to God, and I wanted to go to His Church. Our family did attend a few churches before, but we felt that something was missing, but we couldn't tell what that was until we came to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

That was my first prayer to Him that, asked Him please to bring back my family again. I was praying to Him that I wanted to go to His Church. When the day our family was baptized, and I looked back, it was Lord's hand in every single detail of my path and Alvin's path. These two different paths finally joined back together in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I want to testify that it is Jesus Christ who led us to His Church and it is His merciful hand that had rescue our broken family. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s Church that had been restored on the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith. I share all these in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand… to be continued

• Recognize the Lord’s hand in all things (see D&C 59:21).

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21

21 And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

This scripture teaches that we offend God when we do not express our thankfulness to Him and keep His commandments. The offense and wrath of God described in verse 21 are evidence of His love for us. God is displeased when we are ungrateful or disobedient because these attitudes distance us from Him.

I read the other day some quotes from Elder Robert D. Hales about gratitude:

"Gratitude is a state of appreciation, an act of thanksgiving, which causes us to be humble because we recognize an act of kindness, service, or caring from someone else which lifts us and strengthens us."

I understand now why being grateful is one of the ways we learn to be humble and why recognizing the Lord's hand in all things is a way of developing humility.

Elder Hales further quoted from the scripture:

"Gratitude is a divine principle”

  "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things" (D&C 59:7)." 

He taught that this scripture means expressing gratitude to God for everything that happens in our lives. It is not only for the good things in life but for the opposition and challenges of life that add to our experience and faith. It means we put our lives in His hands, realizing that all that transpires will be for our benefits and experiences.

It was indeed the Lord's hand in every single detail in my life when I started to look back:

The Lord was there when I cried out to Him to bring my family back together to me;

The Lord was the one who did the miracles on my path and Alvin's path;

The Lord was the one who led me to find and purchased a home for my small family;

He was the one who led our family to get baptized into His Church, and we were able to seal in the Cebu temple for all time and eternity;

He was there in every most important or trial that I faced;

The Lord was there when both Issac and Annabelle were missing in the busy streets of Hong Kong Tsim Sha Tsui to guide them back to the temple ground;

The Lord orchestrated the subsequent events that happened after our Hong Kong temple trip, which eventually I only knew later.

I always wanted to write every single life experience that the Lord's hand in my life. I sometimes feel as those were the moments that would keep reminding me to remember Him whenever I wanted to give up, or even the peace and comfort that He is with me all the time and I am not alone at all.

I think this is the week to recall those beautiful memories and observe them in the present to recognize them now and then.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Submissive to the Lord’s Will… to be continued

We did have a great time last Thursday evening about the 2nd week of our PathwayConnect's gathering. We were enjoying the sharing of both Elder and Sister Liew their carer exploration experiences. Almost the end of our gathering, we talked a bit about the assignments we were doing last week about the Certificate Planning and the Value of Degree.

Sister Juneffer shared her thoughts on selecting the first certificate that she could not find her interest subjects, and it was so hard. I nodded my head and agreed on what she has to share. I found out that it is not only me alone having the same thought.

Eventually, last Friday, after discussing this particular assignment on our group chat, brother Clearance just WhatsApp a message to all of us from his instructor. It seems as the BYU Pathway Portal of the Interest Survey was experiencing some issues and not working correctly. Thus, BYU Pathway excuses this week's application activity for the Certificate Planning and Value of a Degree assignment. Both Juneffer and I were so happy and thankful for brother Clearance for letting us know this exciting news!

I recalled last Thursday night before sleep, and I prayed for Heavenly Father to thank Him for Issac managed to get the vaccination, even though Annabelle was not allowed.

I then gave a specific prayer that I would submit to the Lord's will if choosing the certificate was a test of the Lord's will. I repented all my earlier unfriendly thoughts and let Him know that it was ok for me to do the Lord's will. I did take some time to pray about this.

I am not sure if this is an answer to the prayer, or I rather see this as a lesson that heavenly Father wants me to learn. Learn to be humble and be submissive to His will. I received the email from my course instructor about the same issues as what brother Clearance told us.

Today I noticed that the Interest Survey in the Student Portal has back to normal. After I did the new interest survey, the result popped out, and indeed, I can see more certificate options that I can choose.

Now, it seems that I have a brand new problem. After I saw the top four interests that might suit me, I had to consider the marketability of these subjects. I am asking myself if I want to change my career or my job now, and it is a 'No' at this point because jobs are difficult to find anywhere now during this pandemic.

The peace and comfort I experienced during the last few weeks of careful consideration and thoughts about the Bachelor Degree of Applied Health interest me in getting to know more about this knowledge that can help others in need.

The marketability of this subject is more significant than Marriage and Family Studies. It gave me a new perspective and favoured either Fundamentals of Medical Coding or Community Health Planning and Implementation, which I think is good.

Studying Marriage, Family, and Human Relations is never a popular subject to take, and in the marketability wise, it is not so popular. I am thinking of all this BYU PathwayConnect has started for me because of the Marriage, Family, and Human Relations Certificate that I wanted to study. It motivated me to enrol in the PathwayConnect program.

I wanted to learn more because of my own family and the experiences that I had gone through. I thought that there must be something that I managed to learn and pick up to improve my marriage and my relationship with others. An enrichment for me at the same time, I can earn a degree and, who knows, might help someone later in life.

Issac told me that, “Do I ask you to wait a little longer? Be patience in His timing. Now it is great after all!” I told him how I felt about this lesson of being humble and relates to the Humility project which I am working on. Issac nodded his head and agree that sometimes God does things in His different ways.

I need to carefully think and pray about these two subjects that I want to take for my next semester course. Overall, I am grateful for this unusual experience when trying to learn to submit my will to the Lord's will. This learning experience is just a start, and I will know more throughout this semester and in my life.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Submissive to the Lord’s will… to be continued

• Submit our will to the Lord’s will (see 3 Nephi 11:11; Moroni 10:32)

3 Nephi 11:11

And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.

Moroni 10:32

32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

These past few weeks were not easy for me. All these feelings of uneasiness started after I did the interest survey in the academic planning in the BYU-Pathway Student Portal. We will take the first course of our first certificate during PathwayConnect.

After we finish PathwayConnect, we will take 3–4 more courses to complete your first certificate. But it seems like we have only five certificate choices that we can choose from, namely Technical Support Engineer Certificate, Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate, Hospitality and Tourism Management Certificate, Project Management Certificate, and Basic Accounting Certificate.

It does not have the Marriage, Family, and Human Relations Certificate that I desire, which motivated me to enroll in the PathwayConnect program. It is unsettling for me, and it feels as it defeats the purpose why I register to pursue an education again. It is kind of hard to accept the fact like this.

I am wondering, for these past weeks, a big WHY? Why could I not get what I wanted? And it is just as simple as taking the course that I wish to? I am wondering if this is the will of the Lord that I should study other than Marriage and Family Studies. It is really to accept the fact as it is. I had expressed my disappointment to Issac and Alvin on the limited choices of certificate courses that I could take.

Out of the five mentioned above, I am more comfortable with either a Project Management Certificate or Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate. I prefer Project Management Certificate is because this is what I am currently doing in my job. Maybe a certificate is good for me as I have worked without a certificate or diploma for so many years. But it alone could not form a Bachelor Degree of something that specializes in, wither Bachelor Degree of Applied Business with stack together with another Business & Leadership Skills Certificate and Business Administration certificate.

Another option would be a Bachelor's Degree in Professional Studies which can choose another two certificates, including the Marriage and Family Studies certificate. I feel unsettled, and it seems like not have a complete Bachelor's Degree in Marriage and Family Studies. It has other certifications such as Human Services Certificate, Parent and Family Education Certificate, and Child and Family Advocacy Certificate for the final year, which I would not be able to include in the degree then.

I have been thinking about these two options past few days, and I am finding some peace when I research more on the details course of the Fundamentals of Medical Coding certificate. It is a brand new subject for me, but somehow I do not feel any unfamiliar because it studies the human body, and it is kind of related to what I learned in Biology during my SPM days.

I asked Issac what his opinion is if he is in my current situation now. After listening to what I had to tell him, he suggested that maybe this Fundamentals of Medical Coding Certificate might be a good one for me, and I could perhaps try something new. He advised me to pray about it.

I sought Alvin's advice, he too, said that this course might be the one for me because of the things that I desired why I chose Marriage and Family Studies, whereby this would be the closest that match my intention of studying again.

Indeed I am feeling good, peace, and comfort in choosing the Fundamentals of Medical Certificate. I think that this will be a test of submissive to the will of the Lord? Earlier this month, I just said to myself that I am not the type of person that submits to the will of the Lord. It is tough for me, and I guess this is a good moment and time to do that. Suppose now might not be the best time to study that subject I wanted.

There must be some reasons that I do not know off, but I am OK with it if the Lord knows. The Lord knows the best what is lying ahead of me, and I can accept this peacefully. I am not sure, but if this is the case, tonight I shall give a prayer to Heavenly Father to repent of my earlier unfriendly thoughts and let Him know that I feel alright to accept the things that He is giving me, and I will strive to study sound and achieve the best marks that I can.

• I try to accept the Lord’s will, whatever it may be (see Mosiah 24:15).

Mosiah 24:15

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.