30 Dec 2012

2012年 ~ 走過一些起伏、一些選擇、一些困頓、一些阻礙、一些掙扎、一些突破、一些失落、一些學習、一些再成長....

2012年沒有白過，但卻不代表這一年走過的一切都已揭示出意義，畢竟，生命總是持續的在教導、在醞釀、在發酵，而今年所遇到的人事物，也許在某一天，才能整個看到更全面的意義，與更被洞察出的關鍵意涵。

Dinner with a White Sangha 21 Oct 2012

Tonight we have a quite a wonderful dinner together with Aunt Jasmine’s family with our new friend – David. David is a Buddhist. He is from America.

David currently stayed at Joyfully Together Mindfulness Practice Centre in Kota Kemuning, whereby is the meditation centre in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village.

This is the centre which both Ed Mun and Jasmine goes every Sunday and practice their meditation there.

David got to know this centre at Cambodia where he have helped a children home called Cambodian Children’s House of Peace. It is a local Non-Governmental Organisation which provides food, clothing, education, health care, recreation, arts, moral development and all the other things children need to grow and develop into proper citizens.

He is a very good artist and story teller. He have published a picture book and the earnings which he sells from this book will go to the children home.

This evening, Ed Mun and Jasmine wanted to bring him around and we went to the Brickfields. And, introduce to David to try some Indian food - Banana Leaf rice and eating using hand.

This is quite an experience for him. After which, we walked along the streets around and Brickfields and window shopping along the traditional Indian shops and seeing their culture.

It was a nice and great dinner. Both Issac and Annabelle are happy seeing this old grand papa and enjoyed his company.

Annabelle Birthday Home Celebration 1 Oct 2012

Daddy asked Mummy to buy a small birthday cake for Annabelle’s birthday home celebration.

This is the first birthday that Daddy is not staying with us, but I know that he still loves Issac and Annabelle very much.

He would not wants to miss every single of their birthday. Due to his work, he can only come to our house at night.

Thus, Mummy just went straight to the bakery and cake shop bought a small cake. I know that Annabelle loves Daddy and to celebrate her birthday together with her Daddy.

Daddy came to home at night. Mummy took the cake out from the fridge.

It is a chocolate moist cake with a strawberry and a mini macaroon on top of the cake as decoration.

I put on 5 sticks of the birthday candles. All of us together, sang Annabelle the birthday song and she blew the candles.

I can see from her face, she really enjoyed that moments, and sang together with us the “Happy Birthday” song. I took a photo of Annabelle together with Daddy cutting the birthday cake.

After we ate the birthday cake, Daddy brought a surprise birthday present to Annabelle.

It is a kid’s scooter! And, she loves it so much! Issac too, because both of them can share the scooter sometime.

I can feel Issac too, he was a bit quite during Daddy was here.

May be he was hiding his love and excitement inside his heart, as he afraid that he would miss his Dad more.

My heart was aching when I noticed this. Eventually, I encouraged him to join in when Daddy assemble Annabelle’s new scooter, then he was relaxing a bit.

Both Issac and Annabelle were happy whenever they saw their Daddy around.

Annabelle Birthday The Core Celebration 1 Oct 2012

I have been planning and put on my thinking hat a lot for Annabelle’s Birthday.

I do not know why, may be it is because ever since we had been separated, Daddy moved out and staying somewhere else…making me put in effort in things that would make both of the kids happy.

Lately, I had the opportunity to go to the Wondermilk Cupcakes House at Citta Mall while waiting for both Issac and Annabelle come out from their art class at Jane Yap Atelier.

It really do amazed me with all sorts of cute designs cupcakes. Thus, made me decided that I place an order a box of cupcakes with her name on it as her birthday celebration at school.

I ordered a week earlier and took the cake on Sunday and kept it at the store room in the house.

She was so excited during seeing her cake. The cupcakes is indeed beautiful.

I prepared the party bags for her classmates as well. I bought quite a lot of titbits and pencil cases with stationeries for her friends too.

After sending Annabelle in the morning to The Core, Issac together with me went for our breakfast.

Issac Primary 1 is in the afternoon class, so I can bring him together and we celebrate Annabelle birthday at school.

Around the recess time, Issac was helping Mummy to take the 2 big green bags contained with the party bags. I was taking the cupcake box to her classroom. Her classroom is at the 1st floor.

All the children were excited and happy too. We sang together “Happy Birthday” song to her, and Annabelle was so happy. Issac too, squeeze in the group of children.

Her teacher helped us to take a group photo together with her classmates.

After which, I sent Issac back to Aunty Joyce’s house to get ready to go to his school.

She is happy. Hopefully, she does not feel lack of love in home…

失落是櫃子

To: C Alvin Yu, Sep 27, 2012, 20:34

失落是櫃子

靜靜收藏著

我的深彩色記憶

那些記憶裡

有橘色溫暖

有藍色憂傷

有紅色歡樂

有綠色希望

和 粉紅色的愛

還有 變成深白色的你

打開櫃子

我才能誠實的想你

打開櫃子

我才能不擔心地回到從前

打開櫃子

我才能 好像又擁抱住你的

感覺到 愛

關上櫃子

我知道我暫時關上了回憶

關上櫃子

我知道我也關住了想念你

失落是櫃子

讓我可以細細的分辨

與你與他或與任何人有關的這一切

該怎麼 收

才好

誠實地想你

To: C Alvin Yu, Sep 24, 2012, 16:52

誠實地想你

是一種勇氣

是一種深愛

是一種無法切割的關係

愛的形式太多

因為你的出現與存在

讓我明白

有種愛 是遠遠關心

有種愛 是遺憾錯過

有種愛 是成全祝福

有種愛 是割捨犧牲

有種愛 是用一生相守 想念

都不够

WhatsApp Chat: Anger…

9/21/12, 15:48:43: Ipeng:

I think he move to his new house oredi...

9/21/12, 16:03:13: Ipeng:

He put the status said sick and rest at home at Sri gombak at 3/9/12.. Since when he move out frm ur place? Or he stays at his wife's house all these while lor.

9/21/12, 16:08:13: Vssb Chong:

No no no... Almost 2 months no stay there alr.

 

9/21/12, 16:09:03: Ipeng:

Ur there is where? His wife there? Ah Heng there?

9/21/12, 16:11:16: Ipeng:

Or u check with the carpenter doing the joinery works or cabinets at your site, did they do his new house renovation or not? May b he stay at new house at Jalan Ipoh oso... Is the carpentry contractor from Klang one?

9/21/12, 16:12:38: Ipeng:

The contractor boss from Klang one got a hotel at Klang Meru or Kapar?? I forgot oredi

9/21/12, 16:39:35: Ipeng:

What is Kipark project?

9/21/12, 16:41:07: Vssb Chong:

Tht one I don knw oh kipark project.

9/21/12, 16:43:26: Ipeng:

<media omitted>

9/21/12, 16:44:58: Ipeng:

Sometimes, I feel I am very CRAZYYYY!!!!!!!

9/21/12, 16:45:21: Ipeng:

9/21/12, 16:46:03: Vssb Chong: He is using him Usaha Waja Sdn Bhd name card to take a renovation works

 

9/21/12, 16:47:21: Ipeng:

May be en asrie ask him do a quotation for ur future project le?

9/21/12, 18:58:14: Ipeng:

Next time don call me...

9/21/12, 18:58:40: Ipeng:

He called me out of sudden n 1 2 talk to kids

9/21/12, 18:59:04: Ipeng:

Call us only whe he feel guilty

9/21/12, 18:59:30: Ipeng:

Bastered!!!!!

9/21/12, 19:14:26: Ipeng:

Ask me to buy birthday present for Belle n get the monies from him!

9/21/12, 19:15:16: Ipeng:

If u really do care n love, no matter how bz u r, u will shop n pick the present for your kids!!!

9/21/12, 19:15:35: Ipeng:

By your own hand n heart!!!

9/21/12, 19:16:22: Ipeng:

I told him I will buy my own, the doodolls that the kids said so loong oredi...

9/21/12, 19:16:44: Ipeng:

That he said he will buy for them!!!!

9/21/12, 19:16:58: Ipeng:

Till now...non

9/21/12, 19:17:43: Ipeng:

How difficulty I am working or financially I will keep my promise for my kids !!!

9/21/12, 19:18:39: Ipeng:

I really dun 1 paint a beautiful picture in front of kids oredi... I have to cover his face for what???

9/21/12, 19:19:12: Ipeng:

For all the hardship 3 of us gone thru?? Fuck!!!!

I really feel mad and angry of all these fake caring and love to the children.

I feel so awful after that, why I just let my angers burst out like that, I was not suppose to do that.

I did tell the children Daddy that, the Doodolls that he promised to buy for them, I will buy myself to the children.

I think I knew the reason why he would not buy for the children, because the Doodolls series is His and His new wife’s love story…

The Doodolls will remind him of his new love only… He is Her Mr. Nerdie, not for me and the children… probably He is still for the kids, but not for me any more…