Writing My Personal Journal

It has been a few days that I was slack on writing down about what have the Lord done to me for the entire day. And today when I studied the Book of Mormon 3 Nephi 23, the same message from President Henry B. Eyring came to me again.

“Some people say, ‘I don’t have anything to record. Nothing spiritual happens to me.’ I say,’Start recording, and spiritual things will happen. They are there all the time, but we become more sensitive to them as we write’”

Elder John H. Groberg

Writing Your Personal and Family History

April 1980 General Conference

Thus, I need to make it a habit that I should write down what I feel, what I see and what I hear everyday. I still have the feeling that it is not by chance or by coincident, that I learn all these things right now.

Studying 3 Nephi at this point of time really give me a feeling as Jesus Christ is ministering me now “one to one”, He wants to let me know that His concern as an individual – a child of lovingly Heavenly Father.

There are so much things that I am learning and experiencing. I can feel that He is walking with me everyday.

Feeling Joy in the Midst of Struggle

I grabbed my hand phone when I woke up this morning, and I saw YouTube app notified me that, Mormon Channel has a new video upload – Feeling Joy in the Midst of Struggle.

I was thinking : Ok, this is the video I should watch now and especially what have I been through now. Thus, I just clicked in…

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

~ President Russell M. Nelson

This was the first quote that Abby Stephen shared with the audience and she began with her struggle in her life. She was 23 years old and engaged to marry the love of her life, Cole. But one week before the “big day” their lives changed forever. While they were on a road trip together, Cole accidentally veered the car toward oncoming traffic, and then he overcorrected and flipped the car. Abby was rushed to the hospital with a broken neck. She and Cole were told that she was quadriplegic and would never walk again.

During the difficult days and months that followed, Abby wondered if she’d ever feel happy again. So, she decided that instead of feeling sorry for herself, she’d try to shift her focus to feelings of gratitude. Was she happy all the time? Of coarse not. Were there tears of heartache and frustration? Yes.

“If we sit in and dwell on all the pain, sorrow, angers, disappointments, heartaches and frustration, that is exactly what we would continue to feel…Instead of I allowed myself to feel of those things, then shifted my focus to happier things and my faith in Jesus Christ.” Abby said.

Abby shared about 3 of the things which can make us happier and allow to feel joy in the midst of her trials:

“The first thing I focus on is Gratitude. As bad as my circumstances were I chose to be grateful…I was grateful to be alive. I was grateful that my family and my fiancé were there to love and support me and to pray with me and for me. I was so grateful for my faith and testimonies of the loving Savior because that was going to get me through this trial. So what do you to have to be grateful for?”

“…Focusing on the things that we have to be grateful for would always allow us to feel joy when life is hard.”

“The second thing I focus on is Positive Thoughts. Instead of focusing what I can no longer do… I visualized myself on all the things I want to do… If I found myself dwelling in the negative things, I would immediately find something positive things to think about. And through it all, prayers is a constant.”

“There is power in faith and positivity…I chose to be positive attitude with all my heart because of our faith in Jesus Christ, a miracle was happening right before our eyes.”

“We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.”

~ President Thomas S. Monson

“Throughout all these things, we learned that the third thing we can find joy is Humour. Learning to laugh through in the toughest moment is an absolute necessity to find joy.”

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

~ President Gordon B. Hickley

I felt amazed and I can feel that Heavenly Father is talking to me through this message. He knows me very well, even better than myself. He is asking me to feel joy instead of dwelling with the sadness myself.

I am lack of positive attitude and I always feel pessimistic with a sad face and mind in everything I do. And, here comes the Lord sending me a message on telling me where should I improve. These two are the weaknesses, which have been within me for years. I am aware about it but just did not do anything about it, as I did not treat it as weaknesses instead may be it formed part of my own characters.

Now, the Lord tells me that I have to change and be positive and laugh often. And, most of all trying to feel the joy in the midst of my struggles in having faith in Him, focus on gratitude and be positive thinking and learn to laugh my way through the hard time.

I could not agree more that this is definitely and truly from the Lord. He knows what are best for me. I need to repent to Heavenly Father for the things that had blinded my eyes and my ears, and most importantly start to work on it.

This reminds me of one of the scriptures, Ether 12:27 : “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weaknesses. I give unto men weaknesses that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

Heavenly Father really hears me. He answered my prayers. He knows what have I going through, and all these I have been through right now He wants me to grow to be the daughter He wants me to be.

Heavenly Father knows my talents and potentials. He keep on telling me without fail that - I am daughter of God, that have divine potential that I just need to explore it.

I am so touch and all I need to do now is to work on my weaknesses and walk towards it! I am so grateful for the things He wants me to know and I love Him so so much. I say all these in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Judge Not…

I was studying 3 Nephi Chapter 14 today. It talks about Jesus Christ taught the Nephites about judging others and instructed them to seek blessings from Heavenly Father through prayer.

Who am I to judge another,

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can’t see

Who am I to judge another?

Lord, I would follow thee.

My heart was touched. I was reflecting on myself: who am I to judge him, especially he is the one I love most in this world? He might be not perfect, and I am imperfect either, I do have a lot of weaknesses especially for as a wife and as a mother.

May be I just merely pass in all the callings I have. It is just happened that his weaknesses unfortunately is may be serious than mine. I am a daughter of God and he is a son of God too. Man do have his pride. I am not in his shoes to judge him, as I do not know and would not understand the challenges and temptations he has been through during we were not by his side.

During I found out that something is suspicious, I was devastated. The first message that Sister Saffron sent to me was something related to this I guess. It was the recent October General Conference talk by Elder Robert C. Gay of the Presidency of the Seventy – “Take upon Ourselves the Name of Jesus Christ”.

The first thing that came into my mind was, “What? Why this message? Is this the right message for me at this moment? Seriously? Right now?” I was ignorant to read the talk, and kept on harboured on my sadness alone. That night, I opened the Gospel Library App and started to listen the talk as I knew that there must be a reason why the message was sent to me at this time.

How does God see? Elder Robert C. Gay addressed it with what had Brigham Young taught:

“I wish to urge upon the Saints... to understand men and women as they are, and not understand them as you are.”

“How often it is said – ‘Such a person has done wrong, and he cannot be a Saint.”... We hear some swear and lie... [or] break the Sabbath... Do not judge such persons, for you do not know the design of the Lord concerning them. ...[Rather,] bear with them.”

I was struck. Was the Spirit asked me to see him as He sees? Savior would not letting anyone of our burdens go unnoticed by Him, this including me and him as well. May be he was struggling with his own weaknesses, but just every time may be he gives in to temptations.

Elder Robert C. Gay said,

“God will work wonders among us as we sanctify ourselves. We sanctify ourselves by purifying our hearts. We purify our hearts as we hear Him, repent of our sins, become converted, and love as He loves. The Savior asked us, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?”

“...Jesus did this so that each of us may always understand that His love is greater than ou fears, our wounds, our addictions, our doubts, our temptations, our sins, our broken families, our depression and anxieties, our chronic illness, our poverty, our abuse, our despair, and our loneliness. He wants all to know there is nothing and no one He is unable to heal and deliver to enduring joy.”

Finally Elder Gay taught that, we must trust Him.

“His grace is sufficient... The message of the woman at the well is that He knows our life situations and that we can always walk with Him no matter where we stand. To her and to each of us, He says, “Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but [shall have] a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”

Now I think back, I had the almost similar message a year ago when I encountered the same challenge. I felt the Lord was talking to me when I heard the talk by Elder Dale G. Renlund “A Good Shepherd”.

Sometimes, I would wonder how the Spirit works? I am in the midst of my pain and sorrow, and such message seems to be unhealed to me.

I do not know, but one thing I know is only the Lord knows what is best for me. May be He wants me to be a little bit more compassionate and kindness, and that was the qualities I want to increase in my life.

I might understand may be later that, this is how the Lord works on me – small steps at a time. Sometimes those steps are painful, and sometimes they are halting. But those are the small steps that can lead me closer to Him.

Before Sleep

We went to Kuala Lumpur District Conference today, and after we came back to home. It is another Sabbath as usual at home.

Both kids when want to sleep…

Bringing Hope

I felt so stunned when I opened this video notification from the YouTube Mormon Channel. I seldom watch the YouTube when it come from Mormon Channel as I have a thought like as it is for the investigators. But anyhow I am grateful as I had watched it.

Ben Taylor tells of how he listened to his heart and turned the efforts of a presumed scam artist into a chance to help a whole village. “Hello sir my name is Joel I want 4 us to get into some business, if u can get some used Laptop, Computers, Printers, P.A. Sets and other Electronic Devices so dey can b sold faster.”

Ben Taylor heard about these internet scams before and felt he needed to teach the scammer a lesson. So, when he messaged back, little did he know he’d set off a chain of events that would empower an entire village. “Joel I’d like to talk with you about a different business opportunity…if you’re interested.”

Ben lied that he worked in the photography business and collected pictures from around the world. He asked Joel to take some photographs from his part of the world. Joel told him he needed a new camera to take pictures. Would you send someone you’ve never met a camera? Neither would Ben. “Joel, any camera will do, even the camera on your phone.”

“BING!” Joel’s first pictures came through and they were terrible! Maybe Joel really did need a better camera. So, Ben invested in a camera and some basic photography textbooks and shipped them to Joel. As Ben sent the package off to Liberia, he thought it would be the end of their communication, “This guy’s going to sell that camera and make some money and I’ll be out money.”

“BING!” a message from Joel came in a few weeks later. Bing, Bing. More messages with better and better images. Joel took that cheap camera, read the books and began taking really good photographs!

As Joel became a better photographer, Ben made good on his offer and compiled the images of village life in Liberia. Pretty soon Ben had enough good images to publish Joel’s book of photographs. When Ben took to social media and shared the story of their unlikely friendship, they inspired thousands of people, and made $1,000.

Ben and Joel planned to split the money from the book sales. But when Ben learned that $500 was the average earning per year in Liberia, he couldn’t, in good conscience, take his cut. “Give it to a charity or someone in need”, Ben was uncertain whether Joel would really give it to charity or pocket it for himself.

“Bing!” a message from Joel with picture after picture of school children holding new book bags and notebooks. Joel had supplied five local schools with much needed supplies.

Joel told Ben the opportunity to be charitable was one of the best things to come out of their friendship. Ben thought he was going to teach this internet scammer a lesson. But instead he learned the lesson. When you give someone a chance, sometimes they might let you down, or they might just surprise you.

I love the most what Ben was shared in the end of his story telling about this amazing journey of his:

“I think this story shows how prayers works. What Joel really wants and want he earnestly pray for was money. And instead what he got was a cheap camera, but with that camera he was able to inspire hope in million of people and changing his family life.

Sometimes I think instead of giving what you want, God will give you a cheap camera and He will expect you to figure out the rest. And then the journey it all take, will make all the difference.

God will answer prayers but sometimes He would need you to be that answer, my message today is that you should be that answer.

On days when I can’t find God and it seems like He doesn’t hear me and care about me in what is going on in my life, I return to situation a year ago when I know that He thought enough of me to send me a request for help. So take a chance on people, you will find something in your own life that you don’t even know what is missing.”

Instead of struggling what dwell in my own sadness, pains and keep on wondering why this thing happened to me, I should just focus the things that I can do. It is the same message that I feel as the Lord wants me to know.

Clara knows that she herself was her own answer to the path ahead of her in The Nutcracker and the Four Realms as I watched last Saturday. This is the same message that I get from this YouTube video. The Lord repeatedly telling me that I am His daughter. I am the answer of my path ahead. And, He knows that I can manage the trials that in front of me. I indeed feel His presence during the time of need.

Learning to Hear Him

Right now I am really stunned!

Last night after having a heart to heart talk with Sister Peggy and Sister E Chin, I did have a peaceful mind and I felt warm in my heart. I kneeled down before God and said my prayer.

I was so afraid to ask about the decision which I have to decide, I do not think I am ready for to ask anything at all as I do not yet make up my mind what I want to do next.

I prayed for a lowly and humble heart, and seek to learn and ask the Lord to teach me how I able to listen and hear what He want me to do. My mind is actually still blank when I woke up this morning, and my heart still troubled when I am thinking of my marriage.

I am supposed to study on 3 Nephi Chapter 11. Beginning of the lesson teach about how the Nephites hear the voice of the Father announcing the appearance of His Son, how the Lord and the Holy Ghost often speak to us? I was really stunned at that instance as I slowly flipped through the lesson of today that I am supposed to study. It is all about Holy Ghost.

I was speechless… Heavenly Father really hears me every each day and seconds… He knows my heart… He loves me so so much… He is there whenever I need Him… Just I do not have my clear eyes and mind to hear, to see and to feel Him. The Spirit is always there.

I was supposed to complete this lesson 2 days ago as my earlier scheduled, but I could not as I do not have a clear mind to read, to rush and catch up the lessons. I know all these are not co-incident.

And, I know that all these happened for a better reason that only God knows, because He knows the end from beginning. I know all these happened for my own good. 3 Nephi The Book of Nephi, is not co-incident that I read it through at these time. It is truly the divine design that I have to go through and to learn something from it, and I feel blessed that I managed to read it now, at this moment.

President Boyd K. Packer, explained how the voice of the Lord, through the Holy Ghost, operates on our mind and heart:

“Perhaps the single greatest thing I learned from reading the Book of Mormon is that the voice of the Spirit comes as a feeling rather than a sound. You will learn, as I have learned, to ‘listen’ for that voice that is felt rather than heard…

“The gift of the Holy Ghost… will guide and protect you and even correct your actions. It is a spiritual voice that comes into the mind as a thought or a feeling put into your heart”

President Boyd K. Packer gave the following counsel about what we need to do to listen to and understand the voice of the Lord through the Holy Ghost:

“The Spirit does not get our attention by shouting. It never shakes us with a heavy hand. The Spirit whispers. It caresses so gently, indeed, that if we are preoccupied, we can’t feel it at all.

“Occasionally, the Spirit will press just firmly enough or often enough for us to pay attention; but from my experience, most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, if we do not listen with those feelings, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening, in our manner and our expression”

I have a strong feeling as all the questions in the lessons are meant for me to study right now at this moment. 3 Nephi considered the highlights of the entire of the Book of Mormon, and it focuses on the direct teachings ad ministry of Jesus Christ to the people of Nephites.

It is not by chance and not by coincident, it is His divine design that I learn all these at this right now. Seeing how Jesus Christ demonstrated compassion for the people “one by one”, He wants to let me know that His concern as an individual – a child of lovingly Heavenly Father. Learning how some people prepared themselves to meet the Savior while others prevented themselves from experiencing the magnificent blessings. I can feel that He is walking with me everyday.

Messages…

[7:57 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear.. we love you.. please remember.

[7:58 am, 14/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: Remember dear.. love you all too.

[7:58 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: 若你現在正在面临人生的挑战，希望羅纳德。羅斯本長老的話能够增强你对神的信心，他说：當你處在人生大风暴之中，不要忘记你是神的儿女，这个神聖的傳承，也不要忘记你永恒的目标。)
神爱你

[7:59 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: We are God’s children. We have great potential! We love you!

[8:00 am, 14/11/2018] C Alvin Yu: vision mission direction towards God yes forever remember.. but in me myself certain things i just have to be myself.. knowing God love us so much yes indeed never forget...

[9:31 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear... I know that I understand you not much, even we have been married for long time. You are always a really good family man in our eyes.. I know that you must been through a lot and much challenges, struggles and sufferings at points and moments which we were not seeing you, in your career working life and your personal struggles for all these years.. for you never tell us all your bitterness.. I know it is not easy for you to face that alone, and all those you have been through have made you become what you are today. I wish for all those years I have been there with you. I do not know

[9:46 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: I do know that it is really not easy for you to go through all those years alone. I feel sad that for all these years I never walk into your heart, share your sadness and happiness. I was not grow up so fast as you have been progress. But one thing I know that is I love you from the day one I saw you till now. I know that you love us, but I can feel that you are not in love with me anymore... I feel sad.. what is happening between us

[10:04 am, 14/11/2018] ipeng: Dear.. can both of us try and try to make our relationship better ya? I love you.. dear