Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

• I rely on the Lord for help (see Alma 26:12)

Alma 26:12

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

This week, something happened within our family, and the event affected every one of us. I feel tired and helpless. I feel down and sad and wonder why all these happened. I feel helpless.

I know that only my prayer to Heavenly Father will ease my worries, and I could only get the comfort I need. Like the past few days, a simple prayer to the Father has to break so many times, and I got to remind myself not to stray away and come back to my devotion to Father. I feel useless. That was the feeling I felt on Sunday.

Today I indeed need and rely on the Lord to help me now. I had made huge mistakes in my work. I had missed out on so many quantities in the ongoing project. Some part of it was due to the site condition. Oh! I need the Lord's help on this one! All these mistakes might make me lose my job, and I feel so helpless!

Today, I was in the office doing the calculation and waiting for the final input, and then presented the carpets that I needed to order and talked to my boss over the phone. I know only Heavenly Father can make these vast mistakes pull through so that my company would not delay the overall project, get the penalty and affect the company reputation.

I burst out in tears when I called E Chin. It is like everything happened at the same time! Till I unable to handle it! All the family issues, my work, my study, and my calling. E Chin asked me to pray to Heavenly Father before I do everything and read the scriptures more because the words of God are the only thing that can pull me through this challenging time.

I do not have a choice but to face my own mistakes. I do not put enough attention into the things that had caused this. I just prayed now to seek Heavenly Father's help to smoothen everything from now to the process of opening up with my boss and praying that the purchasing of the needed additional carpets can get smoothen looking at the tight timeline and schedule.

My boss was indeed angry, and I was trembling when I talked to him. I still need to go to the site tomorrow morning to double-check the stock quantity to finalize the order quantity.

I never realized that the scriptures I wanted to focus on had given me a real personal lesson on how I need to rely on the Lord for help. I had slacked a lot on my daily prayers and scriptures study. E Chin reminded me that I had lost my focus on my ways, and it opened up for the adversaries to attack me.

My foundation of faith is not strong enough, and I keep on shaken whenever the trials come. My faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is not strong enough for me to stand on my own.

According to E Chin's advice, I prayed all day in everything I did today at the office. The amendment of my mistakes is not complete yet, and I still have tomorrow to work on and prayerfully to sort out by the end of tomorrow.

It had come to an end of a day for me to go home with peace of mind and comfort heart. I know it is the comfort and grace and mercy that the Lord gives me, even though I had made a colossal mistake. I know that only the Lord can pull me through in this whole mess that I made. I am grateful for the peace and comfort the Lord give. I am grateful for His love for me.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Recognize, Confess and Forsake Our Sins

• Recognize, confess, and forsake our sins (see Mosiah 26:29–30; D&C 58:43).

Mosiah 26:29-30

29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

30 Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

Doctrine & Covenants 58:43

43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.

"Repentance is more than simply acknowledging wrongdoings. It is a change of mind and heart. It includes turning away from sin and turning to God for forgiveness. It is motivated by love for God and the sincere desire to obey His commandments" (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2011], 28).

To repent, we must confess and forsake our sins. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

"Confessing and forsaking are powerful concepts. They are much more than a casual 'I admit it; I'm sorry.' Confession is a deep, sometimes agonizing acknowledgment of error and offense to God and man" ("The Divine Gift of Repentance," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2011, 40).

If we confess our sins before the priesthood leader and the Lord, the two different people need to grant forgiveness. If we confess our sins and repent in the sincerity of our hearts, then we will be forgiven.

Bishops and branch presidents hold priesthood keys to help those who have sinned seek forgiveness. While only the Lord can forgive sins, priesthood leaders play a supporting role in assisting people to receive that forgiveness. They keep all confessions confidential and help those who confess throughout the process of repentance.

As often as we repent, the Lord will forgive us. This principle comforts someone who is struggling with a particular sin. It is wrong to use this truth to justify the attitude that says, "It doesn't matter if I sin because I can always repent." This attitude mocks the suffering and price paid by the Savior to atone for our sins.

I feel as this week's scriptures relate to them and this week's lesson of forgiving someone, but this scripture is how I can recognize my sins and seek the Lord's forgiveness. It is about forgiving others.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Choose Not to be Offended… to be continued

• Choose not to be offended (see D&C 42:88).

88 And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.

The Lord's instructions for us when someone has offended us is to reconcile with them privately. Reconcile means resolving differences and restore harmony.

I feel this week this scripture verse indeed suits me for what I had been through for the past week. I still not yet go to work officially. Our office is still working from the home method. It is not working from home for me because it requires me to go to job sites or deliver samples to my boss's client's office.

Physically, I can say that the nature of the job would make me exposed more to the Covid-19 viruses. My pay is still half-month of the original salary, and the company allows me to claim on a mileage basis on each trip or job site that requires me to go. The company still would not pay my EPF contributions, and I am classified as a contract worker if this goes on.

I feel this is unjust for me, and my heart is not satisfied with my current job conditions. I still have monthly commitments that I need to fulfil, such as home loan, vehicle hire purchase loan, monthly medical card insurance payments for myself and my kids, monthly allowance to my father and his insurance.

With the half-month pay that I am getting now, it is nice to cover all those monthly commitments but not enough for my daily expenses, such as extra food or staple that I will buy for the family. I had already withdrawn from my EPF accounts some of the monies I can draw, and it comes to an end soon, especially at the end of this year.

I feel insecure at all. I just wondered why my income has been getting lower and lower over the years?

This past week, my boss asked me to do this and that at the very last minute. I need to take Issac to Sri Emas International School to take his IGCSE ESL exam. The next day, I need to bring him to Management and Science University to take his second dose of Pfizer Covid-19 vaccination.

I felt so pressured because everything came in at one time, and I needed to attend to my boss's given assignments at the same time. I heard and looked at everyone already went to the office and worked like normal, but not my office. I feel being mistreated. I felt uneasy when talked to my boss over the phone listening to his inpatient voice tone, as I am not doing my job even with my work from home pays, and it made me feel hurt and uncomfortable at all.

Then, this week Christlike Attributes Journal's plan came into my mind about the one thing that I want to focus on this week - choose not to be offended.

Elder David A. Bednar 2006 General Conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them” came into my mind,

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected… However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

"As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

I never thought that chooses not to be offended part of being humble. We are humble when we acknowledge our weaknesses and decide not to be offended by someone's words or behaviour.

I love the story quoted by Elder Bednar in the Book of Mormon, about a time when both Captain Moroni and the chief judge Pahoran were corresponding amid warfare. Captain Moroni accused Pahoran of being thoughtless, lazy, and neglected for not supporting the armies in the frontline.

"Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, "Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart" (Alma 61:2, 9)."

The following words from Elder Bednar indeed woke me up and reminded me that I did not act in a manner consistent with my specific Christlike attribute, which is being humble.

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, "it mattereth not."

I can choose to say to myself, "It mattereth not." Most importantly, I should not take things grudges into my heart, but listen and do as what Elder Bednar counselled,

"If a person says or does something that we consider offensive, our first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly, and directly with that individual. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood."

What a counsel! I am grateful for the inspirations that just came right in time!

Looking Inside: Now is the time for me to… Grow in Humility

In this week, our weekly Institute application is to write and complete the following sentence: "Now is the time for me to…" with one way we will act on being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Our assignment is to pay particular attention to the first thing that comes to our mind since this may be a prompting from the Holy Ghost.

When I saw this assignment, I immediately thought of the Christlike Attribute Journal that I wanted to focus on humility, which is one of the Christlike attributes. Besides that, we have to be specific about what I need to do to increase my discipleship in this area: Humility.

I wrote about this earlier at the beginning weeks while starting my Christlike Attributes Journal, and I wrote down my planning and places to focus on and follow through for this entire semester. There are a lot of habits that I need to break and relationships that need to change, especially my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

"The first step on the path of discipleship begins, luckily enough, in the exact place where we stand! We do not have to prequalify to take that first step. It doesn’t matter if we are rich or poor. There is no requirement to be educated, eloquent, or intellectual. We do not have to be perfect or well-spoken or even well-mannered.

“You and I can walk in the path of discipleship today. Let us be humble; let us pray to our Father in Heaven with all our heart and express our desire to draw close to Him and learn of Him.

“Have faith. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened [see Matthew 7:7 (Links to an external site.)]. Serve the Lord by serving others. Become an active participant in your ward or branch. Strengthen your family by committing to live the principles of the gospel. Be of one heart and of one mind in your marriage and in your family.

“Now is the time to adjust your lives to be able to have a temple recommend and use it. Now is the time to have meaningful family home evenings, to read the word of God, and to speak to our Heavenly Father in earnest prayer. Now is the time to fill our hearts with gratitude for the Restoration of His Church, for living prophets, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood power that blesses our lives. Now is the time to embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, become His disciples, and walk in His way” (Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles The Way of the Disciple (Links to an external site.), Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 75–78.)

I was supposed to focus on this week: praying to Father to help me grow in humility. I realized that I have difficulties in praying to the Father. When I started to pray, my mind was constantly filled with so many 'To-Do Lists' reminding me I needed to do and follow-up.

Sometimes, thoughts would slip into my mind while praying, and my mind would begin to wander around. Most of the time, my prayer would not be complete in Jesus's name. This situation indeed disturbs me for quite some time, yet I do not find a better solution or determination to address this issue.

"Nets are generally defined as devices for capturing something. In a … more important sense, we might define a net as anything that entices or prevents us from following the call of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God.

“Nets in this context can be our work, our hobbies, our pleasures, and, above all else, our temptations and sins. In short, a net can be anything that pulls us away from our relationship with our Heavenly Father or from His restored Church. …

“It is impossible to list the many nets that can ensnare us and keep us from following the Savior. But if we are sincere in our desire to follow Him, we must straightway leave the world’s entangling nets and follow Him.

“… Our lives are so easily filled with appointments, meetings, and tasks. It is so easy to get caught in a multitude of nets that sometimes even a suggestion of breaking free of them can be threatening and even frightening to us.

“Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are—as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don’t matter.

“That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance—that is essential” (Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Follow Me (Links to an external site.), Ensign, May 2002, 15–16).

After learning and studying the truths I learned about discipleship this week from the scriptures, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It is time for me to address this so that I can increase my discipleship in this. Prayer is fundamental in getting to know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I expressed my concern to Issac and sought his opinion and advice. He paused and thought for a while. He suggested that I think of Jesus Christ or remember His face when I pray. That was preciously the thought that came into my mind when I pondered how can I improve this problem of mine.

The other thing that came into my mind is President Russell M. Nelson's counsel on the revelation.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith set a pattern for us to follow in resolving our questions. Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom, we may ask of God,⁸ the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. He sought personal revelation, and his seeking opened this last dispensation.

In like manner, what will your seek open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will "grow into the principle of revelation." ⁹”

Another thought that came into my mind is that I need to write down before I pray. Think about the things I need or want to pray for or things that I am thankful for. Writing all these down to help me remember and focus on the concerns that I want to communicate with Father. I think I should practice to incorporate all these more fully in my prayer.

• My prayers are earnest and sincere (see Enos 1:4).

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Grow in Humility… to be continued

• Pray to our Father to help us grow in humility (see Helaman 3:33–35; Ether 12:27).

Helaman 3:33-35

33 And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church—not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God—

34 And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.

35 Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.

I feel as it is so coincident that I would say. I prepared and studied for Institute Lesson 3, which the lesson just uploaded the other day. Usually, I would start to do the reading assignments in MyInstitute App. We were learning about Jehovah's Premortal Life.

There is a conference talk by Elder Richard G. Scott (1928-2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles titled, "Jesus Christ, Our Redeemer." He was bearing his witness about Jesus Christ, and in the conclusion of the talk, he left with these phrases:

"Oh, how grateful we must be for the Atonement wrought by our Redeemer, Jesus Christ! It gives life richness and joy when we live the pattern described in this scripture:

They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

These scripture verses are precisely the same as the above that I wanted to focus on this week. I feel that I did not pray much as often as last time. Thus the first thing I want to focus on is to pray to help me grow humility.

As we fast and pray and yield our hearts to God, He will cause our faith in Jesus Christ to increase and sanctify our hearts despite the hurtful behavior of others.

When I am humble and have faith in Jesus Christ, He will make my weak things strong. These are the promised blessings that came when I learned to be humble, as last week, the scripture study regards the blessings that I would receive.

I always have difficulties in finding the same time, same place, and pray to Heavenly Father. My heart and mind are so occupied with so many things in my daily life.

Setting a goal to pray is not new to me, but every time I could not keep the plan, I made and did it. The same as exercise goal, too, sadly.

Oh.., how I wish I have the determination and means to come closer to the Savior!

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand

Apart from our family conversation story, the first miracle story of looking for our home now is another testimony of recognizing the Lord's hand in my life too.

Can you imagine this home of ours? I bought it through 'auction'? And my girlfriend and I, with no experience at all, went to the auction and managed to auction it down?

I was seriously looking for a new house after learning that Alvin had already purchased a place of his own. It was kind of devastating news to know at that time. The reason being was we had been staying in our USJ1 home for quite some time. It is a low-cost flat. Its location, amenities, and accessibility to the highways and main roads are excellent. Just the environment itself is not so ideal.

Due to it is cheaper in rental, thus attracts most of the foreign workers stay here. The residents here mainly are from a little bit lower than the middle-income class. There are always motorbikes and cars racing in the middle of the night and considered the environment is a bit not so safe nor ideal to raise the children under such environment.

I always dreamed of moving out of this place and getting a better place for the children's sack. This dream does not come true. I feel so hurt and determined that I should look for a better house with a better environment for both children and myself. Thus, the search and hunt for a new house started.

Firstly, I was looking at Subang Jaya and USJ areas as we lived here for quite some time. Sadly, the properties prices here were so high. I was unable to find something within my budget. One requirement that I was looking for is an apartment unit that comes with a swimming pool facility. Both Issac and Annabelle love swimming and play water.

One day I was sitting in front of the computer. I was surfing the internet, as usual, to look for a property. I expanded my search area to the Puchong area, which is just next to USJ. I felt prompted to type in some keywords such as "swimming pool condominium Puchong."

Surprisingly, the images amazed me as I could see a mini Sunway Lagoon swimming pool in one of the search results, and I quickly clicked in to check where the location of the apartment. It is Desa Idaman Residence at Puchong. It is love at first sight! I scrolled through the property website and immediately loved its resort's style and the feel of home it portrays.

Getting to buy a unit in Desa Idaman Puchong had immediately become my goal. I always checked the website if there was a sale from the owner that wanted to let go. After a week or two, I came across a proclamation of sale advertised on the iProperty.com.my website.

After enquiring from the relevant property agent, I got the necessary documents and started doing my homework on the unit I wanted to bid. I went to the property management office to check the outstanding maintenance fees and utility bills, at least get to know how much total monies I need to take out and payout first before the bank reimburses back. Jessie helped me to check if the property had been caveat.

I checked and searched for the existing owner's lifestyle on his Facebook account through checking from his photos how are the conditions of his house are like because we were not able to go in and view. Jessie accompanied me go to the apartment to check the surrounding environment of the apartment.

Till the auction day came, I went to the bank to buy a banker's cheque for the 10% deposit for the value of the auction's property. Jessie and I went for our first-ever property auction. It was indeed quite an extraordinary experience for both of us. It is not like you would go for an auction every time and so frequently unless you work in a company related to it.  There was another interested buyer as well that bid together with us.

Finally, we managed to bid on the apartment unit. Even though I felt it was a bit more than what I expected, I needed to top up the additional monies to the surplus of the 10% deposit of the auctioned price. The required amount was precisely the amount I had for my children's ang pows' monies in my purse. That morning, I was prompted to take along their 'ang pows' monies in my purse as a 'good luck' sign. I felt so blessed for that instant. It is like fated to get this unit.

When I looked for the locksmith to change the locksets of the house, and the first time I walked into the home, the house was all nicely done up. The previous owner had the entire house done up with a lovely plaster ceiling. The unit has a grille door at the unit's main entrance and the yard area, together with all windows in the bedrooms and living room. The air-conditioner points and lighting points were there, without the fittings of course. The previous owner did most of the renovation in the house in good condition, including bathrooms with nice vanity tops. All I needed to do is to install the kitchen cabinets, wardrobes for all the bedrooms, painting, lightings, and air-conditioners only.

I was so stunned then, and I knew it was God's gift!

• I am sincerely grateful for the blessings I have received from the Lord (see Alma 7:23).

Alma 7:23

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

Looking back, it was indeed the Lord’s hand in this most important event that happened in my life, that I got to purchase the dream home I wanted and desired. Sometimes I wonder who am I and how I deserve so much from God? I am indeed grateful when I can see how the Lord shaped my life and His arrangements in my family and my life.

Looking Inside: Recognize the Lord’s Hand…to be continued

After joining the Church, I began to look back and see how the Lord's hand was in my life. I always remember my conversion story the most, and I love to testify how Lord's handcrafted in my life and my family's.

Alvin and I were divorced before. I still remember the night vividly after I put down my phone talked to him. I was so devastated and just looked up and shouted to God and asked Him if He exists, bring my family back together as a whole to me.

That was the first time I prayed to God in Jesus's name. I just told Him that I surrender everything to Him and let Him guide me through, and at that moment, I thought I needed the strength and someone to tell me what to do next. Of course, I wanted my husband back, but I just let God lead me at that moment. If we are fated back together, then it's God's will.

From that first night prayer onward, God started to do His miracles on my and Alvin's paths. There were nights I prayed to God that I would walk into His church one day, but it is not me alone. I will walk in His Church together with my family as a whole. But so many churches? I was thinking in my heart, which one?

It was never an easy process for Alvin and me to get back together, and we were still quarrelling along the way. At some point in time, I felt I wanted to give up. Some thoughts came to mind that "you should do this," which asked me to concentrate on both children, work on my self-reliance, and look for a home for the children and me. I was ignoring those thoughts, and things got worse. Eventually, I just followed the promptings, and things started to get better.

Sister Joyce and brother Felix invited us to their Church when they knew we were looking for Church and going to Church. I remember I talked to God, and I wanted to go to His Church. Our family did attend a few churches before, but we felt that something was missing, but we couldn't tell what that was until we came to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

That was my first prayer to Him that, asked Him please to bring back my family again. I was praying to Him that I wanted to go to His Church. When the day our family was baptized, and I looked back, it was Lord's hand in every single detail of my path and Alvin's path. These two different paths finally joined back together in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I want to testify that it is Jesus Christ who led us to His Church and it is His merciful hand that had rescue our broken family. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s Church that had been restored on the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith. I share all these in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!