Perfect... Imperfection... Seeking A Balance...

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Looking Outside: Refrain from Boasting

Matthew 23:12

12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

Like the Pharisees, if we try to exalt ourselves above others, we will be abased. To be abased means to be lowered or humiliated or to become less respected. If we are humble and serve others, the Lord will exalt us.

The phrase "shall be exalted" implies that the Lord will lift us and help us become more like Him.

Alma 38:11

11 See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength.

Alma's counsel was intended to help Shiblon develop righteous attributes. Our efforts to develop righteous attributes prepare us to teach and serve others. One aspect of pride is putting greater trust in oneself than in God.

Pride is also evident when a person thinks they are superior to or more important than others. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride" (Robert D. Hales, "Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 73).

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I have truly experienced the grace and tender mercy of the Lord guiding me to resolve my recent mistakes in my work. It is indeed a humble experience for me. This past week's experience reminded the days when I tried to know God and Jesus Christ - when I went through the pains and heartache after my divorce. It is the same process.

What I can say is I am grateful and humbled for this experience, and I have been able to see the blessings and tender mercies that the Lord has given to me. It all started with those mistakes, and the challenges still keep coming for the last week and this week. I still need to on and off check the stocks and the completed work done at the site while doing office admin and some accounts works. All these are still manageable.

It was all started with my car. Throughout this week, I noticed something different and sounded whenever I turned my car's steering wheel. Due to it is time to service the vehicle. Thus I decided to drive into the service workshop last Saturday and have a check. I thought it would be minor, but it turned out the steering rack needed to change because it was wholly spoilt, and the mechanic advised that it is critical to change it straight away. I called Alvin, and he asked me to seek another opinion from the mechanic near my office area.

After the service workshop had serviced the car, I drove slowly towards Ara Damansara and safely reached the mechanic's workshop near my office. After getting the second round check, it finally confirmed that I needed to change the steering rack. The mechanic gave me a quotation shortly. I discussed with Alvin over the phone, and we concluded and proved to change, and I need to leave the car there over the weekend because the mechanic can only get the required parts on Monday. Alvin helped to pay the fees of RM1,665. It is cheaper than the earlier service workshop quotation. No choice, I took a GrabCar back home. It is such a tired Saturday for me.

Now, I reflect on the past week. I was always praying for safety and protection from Heavenly Father before I went out from home every day. I do not know why and it seems like I have a feeling of got to be extra careful this week, especially when I was driving. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father and my Savior for protecting my children and me during in our car journey for the past weeks. I know that it is not lucky nor fortunate, but because of Their love for us.

Sometimes, I thought I was strong enough to carry whatever had happened in my work on my own. I forgot to pray to the Father more often than I did after my work's more serious problems had been resolved. But still, there are always here a little, and they're a little hick-ups on the way.

I indeed had no idea that the load of the things that continued coming my way would become more extensive than I imagined, and I still need to rely on the Lord's help to carry it. I would need to put away my pride and be willing to humble myself and pray to Him to seek guidance, strength, and wisdom to go through each day to have peace of mind and go to bed every night.

I know it is still hard for me to develop the humility to serve others in my calling. Whenever I look for these past weeks, I am reminded of the tender mercies of the Lord when I needed them the most. It gives and increases and inspires me to look for small and simple ways to serve others every day.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Looking Outside: Accept Church Calling Willingly… to be Continued

Mosiah 2:16-17

16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.

17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

I listened to one of the Come Follow Me lessons on the Book of Mormon Central YouTube channel three weeks ago, and something caught my eyes and mind on what the presenter shared in the Doctrine and Covenants 124.

Brother Taylor shared his favorite scripture verse in this entire long section of 124 because it is so profoundly relevant and so applicable to our lives and, more specifically, to his life: "Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you, my servant Joseph Smith, I am well pleased with your offering and acknowledgments, which you have made..."

Brother Taylor reiterated this to the young lad that gave the apostles two fish and five loaves of bread which Jesus had multiplied and gave the food and fed the 5,000 people. The Lord asked us to provide him with what we had - it is our offering.

"God is not asking you to perform a level of Joseph Smith and Emma Smith. God is not asking you to have the capacity of an Enoch or an Abraham and Sarah. He is asking you to make an offering of what you have. Whatever your five loaves and your two fish are, it is that offering that you give to the Lord."

"And then notice the second thing, 'and acknowledgments.' I do not know precisely what the Lord meant by that, but I know what it means to me, at least today, at this level of my spiritual maturity, with plenty of room to continue to grow.”

“It is that idea that I acknowledge who God is. Who am I? Who other people are, and my complete need for His grace, my dependence upon the Savior for all that I have, for all that I hope to be and to become, it is that acknowledgment that softens the heart, that says, I need thee, oh I need thee.”

“That acknowledgment opens channels of revelation for me to be able to tell. It is not about me; it is about connecting as many people as possible with the God who gave them life and who wants to redeem them. It resonates with my soul. I want to be more like this, to be more willing to offer all that I have.”

“It seems that God often does his work with people who are not filled with time and energy, and even talent at times. I love the fact that if you look at the scriptures and if you look at the history of different dispensations of the gospel.”

“He takes the world's weak things, which may not feel like they are on top of their game, and he says, will you go to work in my vineyard today? And sometimes he calls at the most inconvenient times where you think, oh, this is the worst timing possible.”

“And yet, that is when some of the greatest miracles are performed. God is still performing miracles despite our weaknesses. Why? It comes back to the first part of verse 1. It is because of your offering and the acknowledgments that you have made.”

“Do not ever get discouraged with whatever your commerce or swampland may be in life. If you keep digging, you keep working, and you keep offering what you have got, even if it is just five loaves and two fish for a group of 5,000. The Lord multiplies the harvest.”

“It is the Lord who takes whatever our best is, even when we are feeling down, and he magnifies it and makes the kingdom grow despite our struggles. There is something beautiful about acknowledging his hand in that process.”

”You do not have to run faster than your strength; you don't have to compare yourself to anyone else in the world. Your life didn't begin at birth. You have so many experiences. You have so many talents, so much to offer, and much to acknowledge to the Load. As you move forward in faith, trust in him more than ever before.”

“Saying, I will give all that I have to thee, even though I acknowledge it is not much. However, I will offer it all, then be still and watch how amazing his power and capacity are to multiply your offering. In the process, you will discover the story of the life that's inside of you, and it is a beautiful story. You are the hero of that story, with the help of the Savior.”

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I still can remember this lesson I learned about three weeks ago. It relates to me and resonates with my thoughts about my Church calling to be a Relief Society president. I had WhatsApp to President Augustine about releasing my calling last two weeks during my work mistakes happened. It was too much to bear for me. I felt that too much was on my plate, and I could not eat it all and digest it all simultaneously.

This topic of accepting Church calling willingly - is not a new topic to me. Ever since I was called as Relief Society President, I think I was doing good in my calling and ok during the first year. I guess it is because there were not many trials and challenges that came to me at that time? After I started to feel the tension, pressures, and burdens on my shoulder, I could not take it anymore.

The thought of getting released is not new. I had asked for release before last year before MCO during February. Due to MCO and I have to stay at home, things became more relaxed, and with the help of both understanding counselors, we were able to minister with the sisters through WhatsApp video calls. It was an excellent experience for us.

After the MCO, I neglected my calling as Relief Society President again. The thought came again, and I thought that the sisters in the branch deserved a better sister to be their president who has time and is dedicated to serving them well. Then it subsided because I was thinking of wanting to try again.

These thoughts came and went, and it was just like a cycle. I am in that circle that it seems like I could not come out of it. It was quite a surprise to me when I was researching how I can develop humility, and this topic came out as one of those how can I humbly serve others.

One thought that came into my mind is: maybe the Lord wants me to learn how to rely on Him in helping His daughters in the branch. It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Lord never requests me to serve His fellow men alone by myself. This is His work. I have been given opportunities to serve His daughters of Zion, relying on Him humbly, and He will guide me through the Holy Ghost.

It is just like what Taylor taught in his class - the Lord asked me to give Him what I have to offer humbly, and He would multiply whatever I have to offer sincerely.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

Philippian 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

After the meeting with the client last week, I did remember that Yeap asked me to carefully calculate out the current stocks at the site and determine if he needed to order extra carpets from China. I remembered that he told me to come out with options for him. Then, I worked through the night, and I came out with three options and WhatsApp to him the following day. Eventually, he called me and told me that this was not what he wanted. He mentioned his final decision and asked me to make sure of it. I was speechless, and my mind was suddenly blank at that moment, thinking of how can I do it.

After putting down the phone, Jessie called a short while and mentioned her disappointment that I did not use my brain to think about how to solve it and asked me if I just wanted to be a despatch only. I kept quiet and listened to her dissatisfaction with me, and she said I just wanted to throw the problems back to Yeap only but did not want to face it. She finally hung up her call. I can feel her anger toward me.

I felt so sad, very down and helpless for that instance. After praying to Heavenly Father and thinking for a while, I called the installer to do a physical site measurement at the site the next day, Thursday, a Deepavali public holiday. I called Alvin and told him that I needed to work on the Deepavali holiday and could not accompany him and the children.

E Chin asked me to pray to Father before I do everything and seek His guidance to work the things out. I did it on Thursday when I was doing the site measurement, and everything went well after spending four hours at the site. I had peace of mind and felt the comfort that the Lord gives.

On Friday, I sat down in the office, calculated the available stocks and site measurements, and checked if we had sufficient to complete this project. I find that it is just enough, and I do hope that it is. I reported the outcome to Yeap, somehow our telephone conversation cut off, and he did not call back. I guess he was satisfied with the results of my findings. This week is indeed a long week for me.

Fortunately for my PathwayConnect study, we have started our team semester project, and I have very supportive sisters in the team. Thus, it is not so much pressure for me as I have to work alone on the weekly assignments.

I am grateful that the Lord's guidance helps me to go through this week. I am thankful for E Chin, who works in the Lord's hand in willing to talk to me and advise me to seek the Lord's help. I am grateful that Alvin understands my work situation and is willing to care for the children for that Deepavali holiday.

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These are the words of Paul in a letter to the people of Philippi, “For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phillippians 4:11). To be content no matter what circumstances we are in is easier said than done. To my surprise, I learned that Apostle Paul wrote these words while he was imprison in Rome.

I read an author in her article wrote, Hannah Pirzadeh “We Can All Find Joy within Our Personal Prisons,” Liahona February 2021 issue:

“Unlike Paul, most of us do not spend our days locked up within prison walls. But so many of us can be locked in a prisonlike state of mind—trapped within a trial that appears to be closing in on us. Our prisons could be a lost job, the death of a loved one, loneliness, fear, financial turbulence, addiction, hurt, or anxiety. When we feel locked in our own personal prisons, do we, like Paul, fill our hearts and our speech with thankfulness, hope, faith, trust, and joy? Could we look back at our times in prison and refer to them as the happiest chapters of our lives? How is that even possible?”

“This becomes possible when we believe what Paul believed when he said, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). It is through Jesus Christ that we can be so full of joy even in our darkest places, “in whatsoever state I am” (Philippians 4:11).”

“When we are in our prisons and pray with everything we have got, thanking Heavenly Father for all He has done, we can truly rest assured that everything will be all right because of Jesus Christ.”

“Just remember, it was because of Christ that, when Paul was in prison, he wrote the happiest book of the Bible. Our own prisons can be our happiest chapters too. As President Russell M. Nelson taught, “When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation … and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives.”2 We can be happy and strengthened through Jesus Christ, in whatsoever state we are.”

I am thankful for the peace and comfort that the Lord has given me during these troubled times. I know I could not make it through this week without my Savior's help.

I have learned to rely on the Lord daily for the strength and knowledge I need to go through each day throughout these past two weeks.

And, today I learn that I can do all things through Christ who strengthened me,in whatsoever state or circumstances I am in.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Looking Inside: Savior’s Example of Completing His Atonement

Mosiah 18:8-10

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

When we are baptized, we enter into a covenant with God that we will serve Him and keep His commandments. One way we serve God is by serving His children. Things we are willing to do when we are baptized are “mourn with those that mourn”, “comfort those that stand in need of comfort”, “stand as witnesses of god at all times and in all things, and in all places”.

Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79

77 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen. 

79 O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

When we partake of the sacrament, we witness that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ, that we will always remember Him, and that we will keep His commandments.

We can show our willingness to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ include standing for what is right, telling others that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sharing our belief in Him, and participating in His work.

When we are faithful to the promises we make during the sacrament, we can always have the Spirit to be with us.

“You receive great blessings when you keep the baptismal covenant. As you renew it, the Lord renews the promised remission of your sins. Cleansed from sin, you are able to ‘always have his Spirit to be with [you]’ (D&C 20:77). The Spirit’s constant companionship is one of the greatest gifts you can receive in mortality. The Spirit will guide you in the paths of righteousness and peace, leading you to eternal life with your Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ” (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 148).

And now, in my work, the mess that I have to clear stands in front of me. We had a meeting with the client this afternoon. I could not defend our company because I know all this happened partly due to my mistakes. My boss asked me to go back to find the solution again to solve these issues because the earlier resolution seems not to work after this afternoon's meeting.

After driving back to the office, my mind was cluttered, and cannot think anything else. I was trying to pray, and still, I could not have peace. I picked up my phone and called E Chin. She shared with me her similar working experiences similar to mines. She encouraged me to face it and solve it. And, that is the way Heavenly Father probably wants me to learn. I did ask E Chin to pray for me to go through this time patiently and humbly.

After listening to what she was trying to say, suddenly everything is so deeply relevant and applicable to me right now, especially after this week's Institute lesson studying Savior's example of completing His Atonement or mission on earth.

For this week's Institute lesson, we are studying about The Sacrament and Jesus Christ's Atonement. We are required to identify something in our life that is difficult to endure or that we are fear we may not be able to endure. Also, to identify ways in which the Savior's example of completing His Atonement can help us endure to the end.

There are something I learn from how the Savior's example of completing His atonement:

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Firstly, the Savior's unconditional love for Heavenly Father and devotion to Him. During His suffering in Gethsemane and the events after which would lead to His Crucifixion, He could have fled or defended Himself.

Instead of withdrawing from the painful events before Him, He went towards Judas and the multitude and took the disciples with Him. He could have destroyed His enemies but instead allowed them to arrest Him. He could confound His enemies verbally, but he supplied the evidence against Him they sought during the trials. He could have called upon legions of angels to defend Him, yet He chose not to do so.

Jesus Christ was willing to submit to His Father's will, and he willingly submitted to the betrayal, arrest, and trials leading to His Crucifixion. He knew that these events were part of Heavenly Father's plan for Him. Jesus Christ is humbly submissive to it.

Secondly, Jesus Christ endures well. He knew it was not easy at all for Him to go through His mission on earth. He is being obedient and still, served, healed, comforted to all during His ministry on earth with His Christlike Attributes - humility, diligence, obedience, patience, charity and love, virtue, knowledge, and hope. All these are Jesus Christ's characteristics, but I believe that He developed them throughout the years from young to adulthood. It is the same as I am. I can learn and grow to be more like Him.

Frankly, it is indeed challenging for me to go through this challenging time of mine. It is undoubtedly the most stupid, careless mistake that I have ever made in my working life. I have to face it and go through it. I will and need to pray to Heavenly Father to give me the strength and wisdom to turn this challenging time, hopefully not a painful learning experience for me and most seriously affect my company.

"Jesus chose not to be released from this world until He had endured to the end and completed the mission He had been sent to accomplish for mankind. Upon the cross of Calvary, Jesus commended His spirit to His Father with a simple statement, 'It is finished (John 19:30 (Links to an external site.)). Having endured to the end, He was released from mortality.

"We, too, must endure to the end" (Robert D. Hales, The Covenant of Baptism: To Be in the Kingdom and of the Kingdom (Links to an external site.), Ensign, Nov. 2000, 6).

And now I think this is that moment that it is so difficult for me to endure. Today I suddenly realized that ever since the start of the Christlike attribute journal project for the institute for this semester, I desired and wanted to learn more about humility.

For the past few weeks, the events that had happened seem to give me a real-life first-hand experience to learn to be humble. Especially for these mistakes which I made in my job, indeed requires me to learn to pray to Heavenly Father, be submissive to the Lord's will, and learn how to solve these issues and rely on His wisdom.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Looking Inside: Rely on the Lord for Help

Alma 26:12

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

This week, something happened within our family, and the event affected every one of us. I feel tired and helpless. I feel down and sad and wonder why all these happened. I feel helpless.

I know that only my prayer to Heavenly Father will ease my worries, and I could only get the comfort I need. Like the past few days, a simple prayer to the Father has to break so many times, and I got to remind myself not to stray away and come back to my devotion to Father. I feel useless. That was the feeling I felt on Sunday.

Today I indeed need and rely on the Lord to help me now. I had made huge mistakes in my work. I had missed out on so many quantities in the ongoing project. Some part of it was due to the site condition. Oh! I need the Lord's help on this one! All these mistakes might make me lose my job, and I feel so helpless!

Today, I was in the office doing the calculation and waiting for the final input, and then presented the carpets that I needed to order and talked to my boss over the phone. I know only Heavenly Father can make these vast mistakes pull through so that my company would not delay the overall project, get the penalty and affect the company reputation.

I burst out in tears when I called E Chin. It is like everything happened at the same time! Till I unable to handle it! All the family issues, my work, my study, and my calling. E Chin asked me to pray to Heavenly Father before I do everything and read the scriptures more because the words of God are the only thing that can pull me through this challenging time.

I do not have a choice but to face my own mistakes. I do not put enough attention into the things that had caused this. I just prayed now to seek Heavenly Father's help to smoothen everything from now to the process of opening up with my boss and praying that the purchasing of the needed additional carpets can get smoothen looking at the tight timeline and schedule.

My boss was indeed angry, and I was trembling when I talked to him. I still need to go to the site tomorrow morning to double-check the stock quantity to finalize the order quantity.

I never realized that the scriptures I wanted to focus on had given me a real personal lesson on how I need to rely on the Lord for help. I had slacked a lot on my daily prayers and scriptures study. E Chin reminded me that I had lost my focus on my ways, and it opened up for the adversaries to attack me.

My foundation of faith is not strong enough, and I keep on shaken whenever the trials come. My faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is not strong enough for me to stand on my own.

According to E Chin's advice, I prayed all day in everything I did today at the office. The amendment of my mistakes is not complete yet, and I still have tomorrow to work on and prayerfully to sort out by the end of tomorrow.

It had come to an end of a day for me to go home with peace of mind and comfort heart. I know it is the comfort and grace and mercy that the Lord gives me, even though I had made a colossal mistake. I know that only the Lord can pull me through in this whole mess that I made. I am grateful for the peace and comfort the Lord give. I am grateful for His love for me.

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The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Looking Inside: Recognize, Confess and Forsake Our Sins

Mosiah 26:29-30

29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

30 Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

Doctrine & Covenants 58:43

43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.

"Repentance is more than simply acknowledging wrongdoings. It is a change of mind and heart. It includes turning away from sin and turning to God for forgiveness. It is motivated by love for God and the sincere desire to obey His commandments" (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2011], 28).

To repent, we must confess and forsake our sins. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

"Confessing and forsaking are powerful concepts. They are much more than a casual 'I admit it; I'm sorry.' Confession is a deep, sometimes agonizing acknowledgment of error and offense to God and man" ("The Divine Gift of Repentance," Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2011, 40).

If we confess our sins before the priesthood leader and the Lord, the two different people need to grant forgiveness. If we confess our sins and repent in the sincerity of our hearts, then we will be forgiven.

Bishops and branch presidents hold priesthood keys to help those who have sinned seek forgiveness. While only the Lord can forgive sins, priesthood leaders play a supporting role in assisting people to receive that forgiveness. They keep all confessions confidential and help those who confess throughout the process of repentance.

As often as we repent, the Lord will forgive us. This principle comforts someone who is struggling with a particular sin. It is wrong to use this truth to justify the attitude that says, "It doesn't matter if I sin because I can always repent." This attitude mocks the suffering and price paid by the Savior to atone for our sins.

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I feel as this week's scriptures relate to them and this week's lesson of forgiving someone, but this scripture is how I can recognize my sins and seek the Lord's forgiveness. It is about forgiving others.

The Gospel Media credit to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Looking Inside: Choose Not to be Offended… to be continued

88 And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.

The Lord's instructions for us when someone has offended us is to reconcile with them privately. Reconcile means resolving differences and restore harmony.

I feel this week this scripture verse indeed suits me for what I had been through for the past week. I still not yet go to work officially. Our office is still working from the home method. It is not working from home for me because it requires me to go to job sites or deliver samples to my boss's client's office.

Physically, I can say that the nature of the job would make me exposed more to the Covid-19 viruses. My pay is still half-month of the original salary, and the company allows me to claim on a mileage basis on each trip or job site that requires me to go. The company still would not pay my EPF contributions, and I am classified as a contract worker if this goes on.

I feel this is unjust for me, and my heart is not satisfied with my current job conditions. I still have monthly commitments that I need to fulfil, such as home loan, vehicle hire purchase loan, monthly medical card insurance payments for myself and my kids, monthly allowance to my father and his insurance.

With the half-month pay that I am getting now, it is nice to cover all those monthly commitments but not enough for my daily expenses, such as extra food or staple that I will buy for the family. I had already withdrawn from my EPF accounts some of the monies I can draw, and it comes to an end soon, especially at the end of this year.

I feel insecure at all. I just wondered why my income has been getting lower and lower over the years?

This past week, my boss asked me to do this and that at the very last minute. I need to take Issac to Sri Emas International School to take his IGCSE ESL exam. The next day, I need to bring him to Management and Science University to take his second dose of Pfizer Covid-19 vaccination.

I felt so pressured because everything came in at one time, and I needed to attend to my boss's given assignments at the same time. I heard and looked at everyone already went to the office and worked like normal, but not my office. I feel being mistreated. I felt uneasy when talked to my boss over the phone listening to his inpatient voice tone, as I am not doing my job even with my work from home pays, and it made me feel hurt and uncomfortable at all.

Then, this week Christlike Attributes Journal's plan came into my mind about the one thing that I want to focus on this week - choose not to be offended.

Elder David A. Bednar 2006 General Conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them” came into my mind,

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected… However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

"As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

I never thought that chooses not to be offended part of being humble. We are humble when we acknowledge our weaknesses and decide not to be offended by someone's words or behaviour.

I love the story quoted by Elder Bednar in the Book of Mormon, about a time when both Captain Moroni and the chief judge Pahoran were corresponding amid warfare. Captain Moroni accused Pahoran of being thoughtless, lazy, and neglected for not supporting the armies in the frontline.

"Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, "Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart" (Alma 61:2, 9)."

The following words from Elder Bednar indeed woke me up and reminded me that I did not act in a manner consistent with my specific Christlike attribute, which is being humble.

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, "it mattereth not."

I can choose to say to myself, "It mattereth not." Most importantly, I should not take things grudges into my heart, but listen and do as what Elder Bednar counselled,

"If a person says or does something that we consider offensive, our first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly, and directly with that individual. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood."

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What a counsel! I am grateful for the inspirations that just came right in time!