Determination

Last night I was so tired that I slept early together with the children. I heard the sound of the doors and I knew that he was back last night. He just walked to the next bedroom. I can hear he was on a tele-conversation. Perhaps with Nicole? I can felt my heartache so deep, but what can I do other than that?

I still do not understand, why till now I am still the one whom cannot let go? No one loves me any more, why I have to still cling on? This evening, he told me that tomorrow he will go to another church. I can not but to ask him, “Is Nicole coming along with you?”.

After hearing my question, his tempered suddenly came and told me off at the face said, “ I am telling you one more time. I am coming back is not because of you, but is because of the children. Moreover, it is impossible that I will love you any more and we cannot be together again! Please remember this!”

After which he was there keep on mumbling and scolding… He really do not have any conscience at all and do not respect me at all. My pride had been stepped by him under his feet. Perhaps he already forgotten about how he asked me to use my credit card to pay his own new furniture for his new home just few months ago… after he got what he wanted he would just kick you aside. What and how worst one character one can become? I have seen it in him.

I do not want to think about him anymore, but to just concentrate and focus on what I supposed to do:

• Help the children to do well in their studies, let the children have a healthy mummy.

• Help the children to walk out from the impact of my divorce.

• Be my children’s best friend.

• Having a good habit and healthy life style, because this will influence my children too.

• I would want to buy a house that better than the current one we stay.

• In order to do the above, I need to pick up whatever I left on Prudential business too.