APOSTATE APOSTATE IT"S TUESDAY WHY ARE YOU SENDING EMAIL HAHAHHHAHAHHAHA!! Let's GOOOO
大家好！你们则么了？
There's a reason cause Monday we had a devotional and so it made our P DAY (Prepararion Day) shift to Tuesday. So no worries I am a good Missionary . THIS WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZYY. Especially how much fun and joy I have experienced during the week!! But also the hardships and trials I have been through are tough. ⚰️⚰️.
So here is a few struggles I met with :
1st Hardship
As I went through the week I came to learn that one of my senior comp Elder Stallings left last Wednesday. And the sadness it gives which made me and Elder Fleshman really really sad. Like we were in the car driving to a lesson. Elder Fleshman and I had just finished our Door Knocking. To which we didn't really feel the spirit with us and for me it was because I missed Elder Stallings and my emotions were in grieve and just sadness. Hardly any positivity neither optimism. As I looked over to my left whom is driving (my comp) I realized the amount of expression those pair of eyes were holding, coloured by the slight stripes and lines of micro vessels at the edge of the eyeball, with a luster of tear at the edge of the eyelids as if the tear itself is synchronizing with the eyes doing its best to not fall.
Nonetheless when he asked how I felt during those Door Knocking and how I felt during the whole day. I hesitated as I spoke which to maybe give a lie to comfort him. When he asked "Is it because of Elder Stallings?"
My voice broke and heart leaked, the mind overworked with holding in the emotions and worries and Ultimately the cause of these emotions. Missing Elder Stallings. As I spoke tears came gushing out and I realized till then why the spirit withheld from us. Because of this feelings and not being able to express them is the problem. To which my trainer also started crying and I know that He felt prompted to ask "Is it because of Elder Stallings?" Which the Spirit was so strongly felt in the car that it just might become tangible
I loved how my trainer started talking how much he missed his trainer as his trainer too is going to leave with Elder Stallings. And at that moment I came to realized how important it is to comfort with those in need of comfort, and to mourn with those who mourn. During the car ride we teared up and shared our experiences of the time we hold most precious with that leaving missionary. Which I am soo glad we had that conversation. As I got to come even closer with my trainer. He said something I loved the most "Your comp becomes a part of you" and I love that. ❤️ which made me think as well living and understanding my comp is basically preparing me for marriage and especially having an eternal comp and that does make sense in a sense. Nonetheless I am still stable don't worry about me I have a strong desire to fulfill and make the most of my mission
As the days passed, I noticed how much desire and eagerness I have to improve and to apply the gospel doctrine into my life. And I realized how much people need the gospel in their lives. Even in UTAHHH!!!. And I want realized how the scriptures can really be liken into our lives. To apply the gospel in whatsoever hardships we have. And to learn and love others, sharing the gospel with others even when they are from different religion. To share the Gospel and invite them whether if they want to come ever closer to the Savior. So that's 1 hardship I had to face.
2nd Hardship
The second hardship was during Friday, where we went door Knocking and we found a lady pastor from another church. As we met her t her door step, she invited us inside her house and as we chatted she started to talk about how do we know the gospel is true. And as my companion and I started to testify on the things about how she is afraid that we believe in the wrong thing or a fake. That we couldn't be save and we will be fallen. So while she was trying to bring us down passively. The Holy Ghost is there to testify of the things that I know, that all that I have learned of the gospel is true. However after that encounter as the day passed I had some doubts that came into my heart.
Gradually I can feel the adversary getting stronger to which immediately I detected and started to identify why I had these doubts. I know that the Holy Ghost testify of the things which I learn is true, I know that the gospel has blessed me in my life and my family and I know that because of the Gospel I can gain these joy and happiness beyond that the reason towards why I decided and go forth on my mission. Nonetheless I got so caught up with the doubts and worries in my mind and heart, to wonder what I learned is true or not. And I just couldn't process the emotions and thoughts I had which got me into a spiral of negative thought. Not knowing how to nurture my testimony and how to search for the answer. However I am so blessed how I have my companions there to help me through that hardship and struggles. Guiding me let me find back my testimony of the gospel and helping me to come and know that everything I learned from the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. That the Gospel, Prophet, Plan of Salvation and the Book of Mormon is true.
I soon got to learn of a few verses that helped me a lot to nurture my testimony are:
1. 2 Nephi 4: 15-35
2. Helaman 5 : 6-12,47
3. Helaman 6 : 34-36 (To overcome the feeling of not knowing what to learn left in the gospel)
4. Helaman 8 : 16-24
5. Helaman 10 :4-16 (Whenever we are serving Him we can be like Nephi, that "the power of God was with him/her)
Monday 12/8
I am so glad I had the opportunity to attend a devotional with nan invited speaker Elder Brian K. Taylor and I loved how he reminded of a missionary talk given by Elder Jeffery R Holland. To ponder if you were Peter and you are visited by the Resurrected Savior whom you know has been resurrected. When He visited you the Savior asked you 3 question
"(Your Name) do you love me? "
How would you answer that question? if so He asks you another question
"(Your Name) Do you Love Me?"
How would you answer that question? if so He asks you one last question
"(Your Name) DO YOU LOVE MEE?"
How would you answer that question? And HE continues
"If you do love me, WHY ARE YOU HERE? I asked you to be my disciple, my friend, my instrument! I needed you! I needed someone to do my work where were you? I trusted you so why are you back here? Must I ask you a third time (Your Name)?"
Like Peter we must leave our nets and fishes, our past lives and our habits. In order to serve a mission, to help Him in His work and to be a Disciple of Jesus Christ. To let go completely and become His Brother, His Sister, His Friend. To let Him help us in magnifying our callings. Like in John 6: 9-13-
The lad with 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes, when we give Him our talents, skills and gifts, He will magnify them to feed the 5000 or mathematically with wife and children the 10000 people. That when these loafs of bread an fishes are gathered and its give back to us with 12 full baskets of them.
So let our efforts be strengthened with the Savior's grace. Whenever we fall short, He will be there to extend His arms to embrace us in His arms of safety. And lift us up to reach a place beyond our own imagination and understanding. So for missionaries lets work with the members to invite and teach them about the restored gospel as well as letting them learn of the love their Father in heaven and Their Savior Jesus Christ loves them.
I love how repentance is one of the most spiritual message. in Helaman 5: 6-12. That the Savior sacrificed Himself to atone for our sins. That we may not have to drink that bitter cup. And after that taught us the condition and blessings of repentance through His angels and prophets. That ultimately to build our foundation on the Rock of Christ. That we may never fall to Let God Prevail in Our Lives. That He died for us that we may attain joy, but beyond that. His works is able to be a blessing for all of us.
D&C 18: 10-13
10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;
11 For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.
12 And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.
So imagine the joy our Savior has whenever we seek His grace daily, to rely and trust in Him that He will lead and guide us to help those who are ready to learn, come, love and live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I was able to visit to a Native American Sister and help comfort her. I came to realize how the scriptures can be liken to our everyday lives, how the Savior is there to guide and council with us. To bear my testimony of the Savior's help during my mission journey, To meet and visit a released Mission President and also an institute teacher with a ton of books in their house and its crazy how he has his personal library. And to be there in comforting and striving myself to become ever more better!!
I know that He loves us all and I know that the Gospel is true. He loves us all and I know He will always be there to support us in everything that we do. And I say all these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ Amen.
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