3rd Week in the FIEELDD

早上好，Hola, Hello, Bonjour and Ehhh TALOFA!!

Well this week has been hmm its been a calming moment in the storm, but still amidst the wild storm at the same time

It is amazing how the Lord truly knows each and everyone of us. After Monday's devotional and Tuesday's P Day which explains why the week went by so fast

1st Lesson

So on Wednesday after P Day I got hit with a large level of sadness and inadequacy like a truck. And that really took a toll on me. Started crying and just trying to handle the amount of stress I have and just I really really tried with every single choice I made to grow. Yet I felt like I am not enough, never enough. Not enough to socialise with the world, not enough to satisfy the demands of the world and Ultimately never enough to do His work as He did. In His shoes.

However I also know that I am improving, I need time and I am a child of God with divine potential. Still I pushed myself and wanted to learn faster, wanted to grow better and wanted to not waste a single second on my mission. But it still felt overwhelming, being drowned with so many expectations and goals I planned for myself. In an ocean of self-assessment, self-criticism and self-destruction. Nonetheless the best thing that has happened for me is my companion. He was there when he heard the children hymes I played to soothe my anxiety, he was there to see my tears and even there to hear my shaking voice. And he helped me through all those worries. Best first word he said was

"Do you remember what I said to you about God betting on you, Elder?"

"Yeah, He does not bet everything He has on a single 19 years old boy. He always has a backup plan"

And I slowly explained that knowing the knowledge is easy. But acting on them is a journey. That I know I have to be patient with myself, that The Lord never expected imperfections in me. However the ideal version of the missionary that I want is so far away from where I am now. And that my mind is processing the negative thoughts and just heeding on the things that can edify and help me learn in a new perspective but doing it alone is sooo hard and almost impossible. Elder Fleshman then proceeded to explain to me.

"It's a great thing to have such high expectations, but know that you can't reach it all in a few dys. Like you are in the mission field for 2 weeks. No one expects you to be perfect. Not even the savior. But if you are consistent and try everyday, every moment and every second and never give up. You can do it. And you have the Savior's help as well. I have a talk I want to show you"

And so I started to feel better, understand a bit more about myself by just pondering on how I ended up in this situation and recover. We then headed to a chapel using a car, whilst on the way just started chatting on how my mision experience has been. Once we arrived in the chapel, he searched for a BYU talk given by Elder Wilcox called "His Grace Is Sufficient" Which is an amazing talk. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/brad-wilcox/his-grace-is-sufficient/

The Savior suffered for our sins, that way He can atone for all our sins, consequences of our choices, heartaches, pain physically and spiritually and ultimately our imperfections. He paid the demands of justice, so that His arms of mercy are there to claim all that she can. And that arms of safety is us. To help us in our imperfect state so that we can learn and grow to be better each time we make a mistake. His arms are there to catch us when we fall short, so that He can lift us up and higher up as far as Heavenly Father is. And what we need to do is to do our part. Adding in our effort. So the calling that we have chosen to accept. To be a missionary, a part of the Arm of Helaman, a president, a leader and more.  Isn't the savior's grace there to help us to improve from our part to perfection. So if the Atonement fills the gap between our effort to the state of perfection. Then who fills the gap between where I am right now and my part? Cause I don't feel enough, I don't think I am doing enough to reach for His aid.

Well how can I reach my part?

How can I grow stronger to do my part?

Well the truth is from Elder Wilcox. There is no line to which we have to reach to gain the Savior's help, because He has paid for the full price of justice. Not half way, not a quarter, not even a single cent left but for the whole thing. That we can gain His divine help wherever we are during our mortal journey. So while the Savior paid the full price of justice what He expects from us is practice. Practice to knock doors, practice to compliment, practice to share the gospel, practice to comfort others, practice to show charity and practice to be His Disciples. To become like Him, that we can be perfected through Him.

The Atonement is like a piano class as Elder Wilcox mentioned. "Mom pays the piano teacher and she pays the full debt, so what does she ask her child for? PRACTICE, Does the child need to repay the mother? nope. Practicing shows appreciation for the Mom's incredible gift. It is how the child takes advantage of the amazing opportunity Mom is giving him to live his life at a higher level. The Mom’s joy is found not in getting repaid but in seeing her gift used—seeing her child improve. And so she continues to call for practice, practice, practice."

"If the child sees Mom’s requirement of practice as being too overbearing, perhaps it is because he doesn’t yet see with mom’s eyes. He doesn’t see how much better his life could be if he would choose to live on a higher plane."

Because the Atonement is there to help us improve, but ultimately as Elder Dallin H. Oaks said Its purpose is change. So that's the beauty of the atonement. And from there I gradually learn to be patient and to love myself even more. I will get there, we will get there. Not on our own but with the Savior's help. Always.

2nd Lesson

To always have the Holy Ghost by your side. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland April 15, 2021 - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/missionary-devotionals-2021/2021-04-0150-elder-jeffrey-r-holland-april-15-2021-1080p?lang=eng#title1

This talk gave me a whole lot more insight into the Holy Ghost and how we as missionaries should always have God's help by our side. That we must always live in a way to always have the Holy Ghost with us, from waking up, to preparing yourself, to Preaching the gospel, to testifying of your testimony, to planning and SLEEPING!! Beyond that Having the Holy Ghost is not like a coat that you leave it at home and can put on whenever you want to go teaching. But it must always be with us even on P DAY! To build ourselves spiritually, daily and consistently. Lastly, to teach by the spirit.

D&C 50: 17-18

17 Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way?

18 And if it be by some other way it is not of God.

Its a really good reminder that whenever we teach, always have the Holy Ghost. Because by doing so we teach it in the Lord's way. and like Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said

Listen to Elder Bruce R. McConkie on this matter, and I’m quoting, “Let us make [this] clear,”¹¹ he said, “there is no conversion, no spiritual experience, unless the Spirit of the Lord is involved … Now note, what you’re saying is true, everything you say is accurate,” and I’m still quoting Elder McConkie, “[but] it is not of God … Conversion comes and truth sinks into the hearts of people,” he says, “only when it is taught by the power of the Spirit,” close quote.¹²

Did you get that? It can be right. It can be accurate. It can be true. It can be technically right and not converting—not technically of God. So this work is true, elders and sisters, and the Spirit is the ultimate and essential teacher of that truth.

So let's strive to always have the Spirit in our hearts wherever we go and serve. That we can do our purpose and help others to turn to God. Lastly, in every companionship like a duo and trio. There must always be a trio and quadro. To have the Holy Ghost in every companionship, that way we can work together and with God's power as well.

3rd Lesson

Words Matter, and thats something I came to realise during my mission. It's so intriguing how our words can hurt, cause scares, traumatise and destroy. At the same time build, heal, nurture and succor. I love that so much and it's a blessing that we can use our words in a good way to express ourselves and if we did hurt someone we can also heal them and seek forgiveness. And I love the talk Words Matter cause Elder Roland A. Rasband recites the things our prophet said

President Nelson has a way with words. He has said, “Keep on the covenant path,” “Gather Israel,” “Let God prevail,” “Build bridges of understanding,” “Give thanks,” “Increase your faith in Jesus Christ,” “Take charge of your testimony,” and “Become a peacemaker.”

so we can do much better and stronger.

People

I have had the opportunity to meet with so many people and while nothing crazyyy really happened. Yet I come to find so many children with so much beauty in them. I found that each one of them are as unique as they are. Moreover each one has their own trials and challenges that they need the gospel in their lives. A baptist guy with a mountain of faith in the Lord, a marine that finished his service with a beautiful family, a couple that is learning all about the gospel of Jesus Christ and a returning member that has her own challenges with addiction yet choose to continue and find all the way and has the eyes to see the many miraculous gifts God has given to her. While I want to help them all at once. Nonetheless setting goals and plans to help them really really helps a lot. To guide them to the truth and let them explore for the joy they can receive.

Sometimes I wonder, are all these the things the missionary who taught me had to do to help my family and to come and learn about the gospel. Cause doing missionary work indeed is not easy, but after all like Elder Holland has said "Salvation is not cheap, so this work shouldn't be easy" And I am really grateful that the missionaries that I met when I was 9 are able to build a connection with my family, guide us as we studied the scriptures and let us grow on the right soil to understand and nurture our own testimony, faith and knowledge of the gospel. Man I miss Elder Stratford and Elder Paiwai. Nonetheless pressing forwards and onwards.

I have come to love my mission every single day. Though it's sometimes boring, I came to realise that's not the case. Because everyday there's something new. Everyday there is someone to Help, to Love, to Share and to Invite.So I am getting used to living with the Gospel and to serve others that they can come unto Christ.

Some Food Pic, Pretty Yellow to me

Some extra MTCCC PHOTOOOO!!! Makes me Trunky to go back to the MTC. ALSO FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL AT MTC READING THIS PART! TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS TO HAVE ELDER DAVID A. BEDNAR OVER THERE GIVING YOU GUYS A GO AND DO EXPERIENCE!!! How was it? email me...