The Lord Wants Me to Magnify My Calling

Today for so long that I, finally sat down and reading Come, Follow Me – The Book of Mormon.

I am reading Jacob 1 and 2. It was the time when Nephi was old and dying, he had assigned his own younger brother Jacob to teach the word of God. To Jacob, teaching the word of God was more than an assignment from his brother – it was an “errand from the Lord,” so he laboured diligently to “magnify his office”.

President Gordon B. Hinckley  taught that we magnify our callings “as we serve with diligence, as we teach with faith and testimony, as we lift and strengthen and build convictions of righteousness in those whose lives we touch”.

Think about your own “[errands] from the Lord” as you read Jacob 1:6-8, 15-19 and 2:1-11. Why did Jacob serve so faithfully?

What does his example inspire you to do to magnify your Church callings and your responsibilities at home?

I am not sure this had been planned earlier by the Lord, that He would wants me to know that, I should… and I should magnify my calling, before I just given it up and told Branch President about my concerns.

When I saw these questions, I am stunned. It seems as I have give up and give in to the calling that the Lord given to me because of my own personal struggles and personal family matters.

I feel guilt as I do not measure up to the things the Lord wants me to do. May be the things can be better if I just rely and pray to Him and find a way to listen to Him. Most of the time I am thinking of my paths ahead are blurry and I am unable to connect to Him somehow. I should have pray and talk to Heavenly Father more.

Everything seems started to crumble in me after we came back from Kuching. The counsel that we had indeed gave me a huge punch on face. So was Alvin. That was why and how I got from him a lot lately.

Alvin did tell me to my face that I am not mature enough to be a mother and my mentality still stays where I was 20 over years ago, and that behaviour and mentality of mine would not be accepted by him and his family.

I was hurt and feel pain. For over this one year ever since I had accepted my calling as Relief Society President, I was wondering what the Lord wants me to learn in this calling? Or what are the things that He would wants me to learn faster, so that I can face the challenges in front of me in the later days?

I have been thinking a lot lately after came back from Kuching that I should have focus more on my own family. Most of the time, Alvin’s behaviour towards me easily distracts me emotionally. I feel as overwhelming of the work, home and calling.

I feel as I cannot concentrate and focus on to ministering the sisters, and it is not fair that I keep on holding on that position. That is why in the midst of the various kinds of thoughts I had, I talked to the Branch President finally on my decisions to be released.

Branch President did ask me to go back and pray about it. I did as what he asked me to. I feel the warmth in my heart. Eventually, every time when Alvin started to tell me off, the thoughts of to be released would rise again.

Finally, I went to Branch President again and told him what I think is the best for me.

Well…back to the questions: Why did Jacob serve so faithfully?

Jacob serves so faithfully even though his responsibility was difficult, because he cared about the people and he wanted to obey God’s commandments.

What does his example inspire you to do to magnify your Church callings and your responsibilities at home?

Last night we just had our Relief Society Presidency meeting through the WhatsApp video call. Both my beloved counsellors are so great and amazing! I feel as this would be the last meeting that we had…

And today I read the scripture and frankly I am kind of regret – why I should give in my calling every time Alvin had sounded me? If only I could have a clear mind and peace heart that seek for the divine help, and continue be like Jacob, I am sure that everything would be going great. Because as what Jacob said in the scripture, “But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them;…”

But what I had done was done, and I have to continue in doing what my responsibilities at home but this time I will learn to rely to the Lord more in every decision I make.

“And so to everyone-- man or woman, girl or boy-- who has been called or who will yet be, I will give you my counsel.

First, you are called of God. The Lord knows you. He knows whom He would have serve in every position in his Church. He chose you. Your call has eternal consequences for others and for you. In the world to come, thousands may call your name blessed, even more than the people you serve here. They will be the ancestors and the descendants of those who chose eternal life because of something you said or did, or even what you were.

There will be times when you will feel overwhelmed. One of the ways you will be attacked is with a feeling that you are inadequate. But you have access to more than your natural capacities, and you do not work alone. The Lord will magnify what you say and what you do in the eyes of the people you serve. All He asks is that you give your best effort and your whole heart.

Do it cheerfully and with the prayer of faith. The Father and his beloved Son will send the Holy Ghost as your companion to guide you. Your efforts will be magnified in the lives of the people you serve, and you will know that you have seen the arm of God lifting those you serve for him. And lifting you.”

Rise to Your Call

Elder Henry B. Erying

October 2002 General Conference

Oyokodon 親子丼

Today is a Sunday, thinking of want to try this Japanese recipe as we normally see in the Japanese restaurant.

Oyokodon 親子丼

Ingredients:

• A - Bonito sauce, 2 tablespoons
• A - Mirin, 2 tablespoons
• A - Water, 100ml
• Onion, ½ pc
• Eggs, 2 eggs (beaten)
• Spring onions, 10g (cut to scallions)
• Chicken chop, 1 pc
• Steamed rice, 1 bowl

Preparation:

Actual Day

1. Mix [A] and prepare for later. Slightly cut the chicken chop to make it easier to cook.

2. Heat up the frying pan over medium-high heat. Place the chicken chop with skin facing down to slowly pan-fry the chicken oil out. Further pan-fry till the skin turn to golden brown, then only turn to the other side and fry till cook.

3. Use the chicken oil to stir-fry the onions, add in about 150ml of the mixture [A] into the pan. Till the onions turn to translucent, add in the chicken chop, add in 1 beaten egg, and top with the scallions. Continue to cook about 2 minutes, add in another 1 beaten egg before take out from pan.

4. Top on the rice and garnish with scallion and serve with a bowl of miso soup.

Initially I wanted to prepare one for Alvin too, but he told me that he can not promise that he would be back home having lunch with us. I was kind of disappointed that he would not be able to try on my cooking, but then I told to myself that it is ok.

This is my first attempt in trying make this Oyokodon, and children like it very much! Overall, I am pretty amazed of myself too ^^

Mecaje Primary Popsicle Making

The senior primary students were taught to make their own fruit flavour Popsicle.

They are using watermelons and oranges, and some others fruits. They are using blenders to blend the fruit juices.

They scoped the fruit juices into the popsicle moulds, then just freeze it in the freezer.

Every student is trying to do for their own. It is a fun activities for the Primary students!

Belated Valentine’s Breakfast

Alvin and I are so impressed and touched with Annabelle’s initiative to cook our breakfast this morning. She told us it is the Valentine’s meal for both Alvin and me.

It is a very simple breakfast but it made us very happy. Annabelle purposely cook for us – eggs, hot dogs, bread toast.

There is a a photo with Alvin of coarse – 2 of us. All of us are happy with the meals that the children prepared.

You Go Where You Look

I came across this article on the blog of the Church website. It talked about how a woman was adhered to her future husband’s advice during a bike ride on a mountain trail.

This indeed reminds me that Alvin gave me several years ago about the same advice but it was during I was driving the car on a U-Turn road. He said, “Instead of looking at the road barrier, look where you want to go; the car will follow. This is the same principle that I learned when I ride my motorbike as well.”

It surprised me at that time. It sounded so simple, so I tried to give it a try and focus my eyes on the road ahead instead of the curve road barrier which I was so afraid that I would anytime just bumped on it.

To my surprise, the car went right where I wanted it to go. So I have make it a habit when I drive on any curve or U-Turn road that I should focus my eyesight onto the road where I want to go.

I only come to realised that the Spirit wants to tell me that, it is the same principle that I could apply in my daily living life as well. If I focus my attention on the distractions of the world or my problem or challenges now, I find myself keep on troubling how and why both Issac and Annabelle were come to this stage.

And I find myself spiritually thrown father away from the destination I thought I was heading toward. However, if I strive to think and seek for divine guidance from the Lord on the all the things I can think of and do, I would be strengthened and directed beyond my own abilities.

All I need to do now is to find out what is their current study level status as what Alvin was told me to do. I should focus and get this information out, and further plan from there.

I remember that I did write in my journal not long ago last year about how Jesus Christ walking on the water in the middle of the storm toward His disciples out on a ship. The disciples were initially afraid, but then Peter recognized the Savior.

Peter asked if he could join Him out on the water. And he did! Peter succeed initially walked on the water, but then his focus shifted when he began to notice the wind and waves crashing onto him, and he began to sink.

I think it is the same as the road barrier or the challenges in our life. There will always be obstacles, and they are often frustrating as most of the time, I was not fully understand and comprehend on “Why me?”. Instead, I should learn to look where I want to go, because I go where I look – the same principle as driving in the curvy road or U-Turn road.

When I apply this principle in practical life, look for the solutions and seeking inspiration and direction frequently throughout my day in formal and informal prayer, and then acting upon on that inspiration.

Focusing my attention to the right thing and to the Savior does not make the obstacles go away, but it does make me stronger. The obstacles is the stepping stone that leads me to knowledge. The obstacles is the stepping stones to add on the pebbles of the faith I have.

I feel as this is the continuation of the things or knowledge that Heavenly Father wants me to know since yesterday. He reveals to me that He knows ME. He knows what I have been through. He knows that I am struggling in become the mother that He wants me to be for both Issac and Annabelle. He helps me to know what should I do. He never give up on me, even though I myself almost giving up.

What Do I Miss All These Years…?

I was feeling hopeless, guilty and my mind was troubled for the past 2 weeks ever since I came back from Kuching. Last night, and tonight again Alvin told me off regards to both Issac and Annabelle school current syllabus. We were discussed about this last week and Alvin requested a report of their studies.

I was feeling helpless and guilty after the ‘counselling’ the other day at Kuching with Sister Agatha. And here again, I had been lectured by Alvin. Suddenly I just felt that there are so much loads and roles that I need to be.

I am not a good wife. I am not a good mother. I am not a good daughter. I just do not know how to manage my children. They are seems like still kids and do not know about manners when they are in the public.

That supposed to be my responsibility as a mother to nurture them. Alvin was so angry that the children were still watching TV and did not play their music lesson, do their homework and do the revision of the subjects learned. He told me off, “If these things still did not change, I would do whatever I told you 7 or 8 years ago!”

I know what he meant. It means he would walk off from this family. All these are not the things he wants and all these things supposed to be my responsibility to do it.

I know that I should be doing all these things… Everyday I came back from work, I was so tired and just feel exhausted after bathing almost 8.30pm. I had difficulties in concentration more on staying focus to look and check both Issac and Annabelle homework.

I have always had a strong testimony of the children growing up in the Church and their love to God come first than anything else. That is why I was enthusiastic during they were in the Primary time, and teaching them on the ‘Faith in God’ program.

However, when it comes to their academic has always been the exact opposition of my learning as a mother on how to teach them. I found myself fighting and struggling to even stay calm and hold my tempers as I try to teach them and checking on their subjects.

May be it is due to my childhood time, my mum did not use this method to teach me. I was quite an independent child when it comes to study. I know what I want. I know that I have to study hard in order to get into the local university. Even though in the end I end up with fail almost all the subjects in STPM, but that was another story of mine.

Ever since I got the calling as the Relief Society President, I was still in the delema of shock and surprise if there is things which the Lord wants me to learn through this calling that able to help me to grows especially in my marriage and my family. And yet every time, I am not getting the answers.

I felt my sense of guilt keenly whenever I red this from the The Family : A Proclamation to the World:

“ HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives – mothers and fathers – will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

“… Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities… Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children…”

And here I am, sitting down alone after been scolded by Alvin. Tired of the guilt, tired of trying. Ready for letting go everything. But then, I felt a gentle pull suggesting that I should browse through the Church website. I saw an article.

I realized that I was not having a faith crisis as I thought I am going through every time challenges came out, as this children education discussion between Alvin and myself was not the first time. This discussion had been repeated again and again.

It seems as I do not know how to get things better. After I read the article, I suddenly know that God knows all my struggles, He knows all the reasons focusing was hard for me. I felt a flood of God’s awareness of me. He knew ME because I am His daughter.

Frankly I did too little and learned too little for the past 5 years and I had taken too much time to learn. The Lord revealed to me that I can do better. The Lord was not judging me or withholding blessings because of my imperfections; He was letting the blessings and knowledge pour down because I was where I needed to be. He helped me in this moment unfold a bit of my history to understand what I had gone through and what I learned during the past years since my remarriage with Alvin.

Isaiah wrote, “Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord… and he will teach us of his ways” (Isaiah 2:3).

The Lord will teach us in His House. He has promised it, and we can count on His promises. But His path is not our path. His ways are not our ways. And His teachings might be different than what we think we are coming to learn.

I was not missing all these years but Heavenly Father is watching over me all the time. I was being taught all along. I realized that I was, and I am having an opportunity to practice my faith – to trust in the Lord that I can lean on Him in changing myself to become a better mother. I can see that my vision extended, and my spiritual knowledge increase.

Good Bye, Hat Yai 30 Dec 2019

We will be leaving Hat Yai and travelled back to Malaysia. Initially we would like to take the train going back, but it seems like all the train have to pre-book online and there were no more seats.

We checked for the express coach too, it is the same. As we were lucky that there are still seats available for 4 of us, we immediately purchased the tickets yesterday. The time is around 9.30am. Thus, we had arranged Yuri to come to collect the rental car from us.

We had our breakfast at one of the coffee shop nearby. We just had a simple noodle soup then we went to the express coach tickets agents there to board to our coach back to Malaysia.

Along the way we can see the green paddy fields when the coach passing by Perlis and Kedah. The scenery is so beautiful. We can rarely see this scenery in the middle of Kuala Lumpur.

We came back quite late to home from our Hat Yai and Phatthalung trip. Well, it is not saying that late but it was almost 10 hours of journey on bus. We started around 10.00am and when Alisan Golden Coach reached TBS, it was almost 7.30pm.

We had almost 45 minutes LRT rides from TBS Station to Puchong Prima Station. It was merely 9.00pm when we reached our home sweet home.

Well… this trip is worth while for us as the monies that we spend and we had almost 1 week holidays with travelling to Hat Yai and Phattalung. Overall we were very happy and satisfy with our year end holiday trip this year.