I Can Feel His Grace…

This evening only 3 of us have our dinner together. We choose to have our dinner at KFC near our house. There were not much of crowds queuing as compared than usual, or may be we might be lucky as we reached Puchong Prima earlier than usual.

I checked my purse during I wanted to pay for our food. The notes inside is left with 2 pcs of RM50, my mind was thinking like… Hmmm… it is really fast…as I just withdrew the notes just last Friday.

And, just half of it I had to pay for the car new dry battery as the old battery just died off in front of Mecaje Academy, when I wanted to fetch the kids back from school.

Then my mind sort of thinking about the outstanding credit card amounts that I need to settle before this coming Saturday.

I was calculated in my mind that how much that I still short off, so that I am trying my best to avoid the credit card interest that will be imposed.

I was sitting down by the table where Issac and Annabelle chose, near the full glass façade of the KFC shop. While eating, and toying in my mind how to sort the things out.

Suddenly, I felt that I do not know whether I have sufficient for the instalment of the house, utilities bills, their art classes fees, and so on… I am not sure I can handle it. I just can not see it, how to increase what am I earning right now, so that I have a little bit buffer every month end.

But sometimes, I just feel so inadequate… at the same time, continue and persist to do the things which I supposed to do, such as: paying tithing every month, keep the Word of Wisdom, try my best to do my calling as the Primary Counsellor, try my very best to be a better mother and wife, try my best to teach both Issac and Annabelle to love God, and the list goes on…

Especially now, I am not sure whether I can comprehend in what I have been through, and at the same time try my very best for the above…I just felt I am drowning.

When I was looking out through the clear glass, and may be just seek for some “light on the other side of the road”. Then, my hand phone message ringed. I took it and saw it – my claims are approved and will be credited in my bank account by this week.

For that moment, my heart was filled with gratitude, because I can feel Heavenly Father and Jesus’s grace and mercy for me. I can feel His love for me and my family. He is there for me, and with me…

I looked at Issac as he was reading his story book after he finished his dinner. And, I looked at Annabelle as she was still eating her chicken rice. I felt more grateful to Heavenly Father, for I am blessed having 2 lovely children and I feel so honour being their mother and I am participating in this great work of Heavenly Father.

I can’t hold my tears and it started rolling down on my face once we got into our car, and drove home. I was so touched… I was crying for a long time, until I finished my routine vacuum and mop the floor in the home. Then, the tears stopped…

I was thinking about last April the General Conference talk “My Peace I Leave Unto You” by President Henry B. Eyring about peace that the Savior give:

“Remembering may be one of the most precious gifts the Spirit can give you. He will “bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever [the Lord has] said unto you” (John 14:26). The memory may be of an answered prayer, of a priesthood ordinance received, of a confirmation of your testimony, or of a moment when you saw God’s guiding hand in your life. Perhaps in a future day when you need strength, the Spirit may bring to your memory the feelings you are having during this meeting. I pray that this may be so.”

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:26–27).”

“My Peace I Leave Unto You”

President Henry B. Eyring

General Conference April 2017

I just wanted to write this feeling down, so that I can still remember this day.

That I can feel His grace and mercy and as like the Spirit was telling me that, “Don’t quit. Please keep trying and keep going. Please do not give up, for I am here with you every moment. I do hear you.”