Perfect... Imperfection... Seeking A Balance...

Saturday, February 23, 2013

A ‘Him’ Dairy…

After sending off both Issac and Annabelle for their art class at Jane Yap Atelier, I was hanging around at Citta Mall.

While waiting for them, I went to the Times Bookstores and have a look. Accidentally, I found something interest me – a colourful spiral bound note book. It have a beautiful cover with black colour base.

I still remember I did buy some note books just like this for Issac and Annabelle at Popular Bookstores sometime ago. Now both of them using it as their sketch book.

Suddenly I have a thought: that I want to use it to write down all my feelings and thoughts about Alvin. I feel a little bit strange for myself having that kind of feelings…

Both of us have been officially divorced, and I am no longer his wife, but still why I still have this kind of thoughts towards him? As he had told and mentioned to me so many times already, that he no longer have any love or feeling towards me…

I feel sad, really sad and upset to myself, but may be, may be by writing down all those things, matters or emotions which I feel about him, it may help me to let go of him…

I really do not know what is there install in front of me in the future? Anyhow, I will have to go through it, as my life still go on, hopefully there is a rainbow at the end of the corner of the sky…

His heart is no longer belong to me…

I was pretty indecisive between 2 designs of the note book and finally decide to chose a black cover with a little bit of colour on it.

I guess it is more suitable to describe our relationship like the book cover -  may be we can be better friends instead of husband and wife. A more comfortable way for us to get along as we watch both our children grow up…

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