Sleepless Night

I am puzzled about what had happened last night. May be this is the reason why I went to the fortune teller at Jalan Ipoh this morning.

I was thinking of want to ask for advice about the relationship between Alvin and I, what would happened to us this year? and of coarse at the same time, get to know the forecast of this year?

The sad thing  is sometimes God doesn’t give you what you think you want… I have been waiting at the small waiting area at the first floor for nearly 2 hours, still not yet my turn to meet the fortune teller.

I have no choice but have to leave the place, as I have to go to Clearwater Residence for the coordination job. Just like that! I had been running up and down, rushing here and there, but end up did not manage to clear my doubts and questions in my mind and heart.

I was so depressed the whole night. After the kids were soundly sleeping in their beds, I walked out to the living room and sat down alone. Crying…and crying…felt so helpless…and upset…disappointed…

I do not understand, why until till now I would still shed my tears because of him? It is going to be 1 year since the day he asked for divorce and separation.

He had been made it clear to me that, we would not have any chance to being together again. Why? Still I am the one whom cannot let go?

I have to learn to let go of you! Even though you are everything to me!