Grateful for Gaining Strength from Your Testimony

Dear Elder Yu,

I do not know how to describe to you the joy I felt when I read your email. You have learned and gained so much knowledge that the Lord wants you to know during your first living endowment! I love how you came to understand the simple truths and the knowledge of how much Heavenly Father loves His children.

I could not comprehend the things that I learned in my endowment during our 1^st temple trip at Cebu Philippines Temple. It took me some time, even my second trip to the temple – Hong Kong Temple, only to realize the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for me and my small family.

This brings my memories back then to our family Hong Kong temple trip in 2019. During our family temple trip: Annabelle and you went missing in the busy streets of Hong Kong; your Daddy lost his job; your Daddy’s car broke down on the highway on his way back to Kulai after he came back from temple, and many more.

I realized that Heavenly Father blessed us with so much more after the Hong Kong temple trip. Annabelle and you gained your testimonies: both of you know that Heavenly Father hears and answers your prayers; You all have the testimony of the Holy Ghost that guided you to find your way back to the group safely and went back to the temple patron house.

I knew that it was not a coincidence that your Daddy lost his job while we were in Hong Kong. I know that Heavenly Father wants him to come back, He wants him to stay nearer to us, closer to the family, rather than having a woman outside in JB.

Everything happened for my sake and our family's good. I am so touched that I know that all these happened because Heavenly Father knows that I am trying my best to be faithful, striving to keep my covenant with Him. I can feel Heavenly Father’s love for me and my family.

I love how you mentioned that you can feel the Lord’s presence standing beside you while you are in the Celestial Room, checking on you how’s life being on earth? Is life treating you well and did you have fun? You are so hilarious on this!

My first thought was that it was not fun at all! Maybe it is because I have been too hard on myself facing all these challenges and feeling alone. Too many frustrations, upsets, and disappointments blurred my mind and hardened my heart to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit!

Your first invitation to me to write and share with you has somehow lessened the burden on my shoulders as if the Savior is yoking with me together. I can feel as if I am gaining the strength I need, the Holy Spirit flooded me with the memories and the testimonies that I had to me, the comforting words from Annabelle whenever I was feeling down. I know that the Lord is working on me through Elder Yu and Annabelle.

Like you said, “He will never abandon us but rather wants to help us. And we can get a of His divine help and guidance, when we do our very best, to obey our covenants with Him. Unless Heavenly Father breaks the promise, we are always in a covenant with Him. No matter what.”

I love your parable about an orange. It reminds me of “becoming”. The gospel of Jesus Christ is about the continuous active process of becoming. This is something that I learned in this week’s Come, Follow Me when reading Alma Chapters 36 – 38. It was the counsel that Alma the Younger gave to both his sons, Helaman and Siblon. Alma testifies to Helaman of his conversion after seeing an angel of God. Alma is the perfect example of “a becoming”. We might not as Alma as a singular event, but rather every small and simple means that makes up the process of becoming. It is ok if we are not perfect, but we are striving. That is the idea of becoming.

I feel as if everything is so coinciding when receiving your email and it is healing to write my thoughts and shares with you. I gained so many insights from you, Elder Yu, and my beloved daughter Annabelle Yu. Both of you indeed strengthened me and gave me the courage and strength I needed to go through the path before me.

Seeing you standing in front of the temple, made me want to go back to the temple and feel His presence. I know that Heavenly Father wants me to return to the temple because there is something He wants to reveal to me. It is stated in my patriarchal blessings that I will receive revelations about my personal lives, I will receive revelations of the lives of my family and I will receive revelations from Heavenly Father that His love for me is pure and exquisite.

Frankly, I have a feeling, and not sure if this time, the relationship between your Daddy and I could work or fix back anymore. But I just got calm and assured feelings in my heart that everything would work out for good for me. So, please do not worry and I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are watching over us!

Love,

Mommy

P.S. About the temple work, let me sort my family tree out then will give you the information. I actually have a name, my great grandfather but I only have his surname, I do not have his first name, as I have tried to search for some time. However, the FamilySearch system showed that his name is ready for temple ordinances even only has a surname. I wish I could have his first name and I know how to address him… if not, I can only call him 陈先生 or 陈太公 …hmmm…

Grateful for Your Questions

Dear Elder Yu,

Time flies, and this is your third week in the MTC. I hope you are well adjusting to your new life in Utah. We could see your bright smile and joy for the past 2 weeks when you video-called us during your P-Day! We love our missionary son so much!

Things happened between your dad and me since you left for Utah for your mission. I know I shouldn’t tell you all these things and burden you with all these things. It should have been resolved between myself and your dad, but it was so hard...

Your Dad kept emphasizing, that Alvin and Yi Peng can't be husband and wife any longer. He wants to be just a friend, not a couple in a relationship. Last Sunday, I saw his video posted on his TikTok account, he was having breakfast with a girl whom he called his lover in the video. I was very upset and called him immediately. I asked him why he treated me like this. I stopped the call, and your dad texted me a long message later in the evening. I did not talk to your dad since last Sunday as he only called Annabelle. I do not know how am I going to live through the past week.

Until last week after your P-Day call, and I asked you about the conversation you talked about, you posted questions to me, which reminds me that I should put my focus on Jesus Christ instead of dwelling on the sadness, frustrations, disappointments, and anger, which I cannot control. I felt something in my mind and heart as your questions directed my attention back to the Savior.

You asked me: “What made you want to be baptized and enter the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? And what was/is your testimony when you entered that covenant with the Lord? Cause making that decision is a very hard yet sacred choice that you have made. So I wanted to understand why you choose to follow the Lord ever since that moment when the missionary invited you to be baptized.”

Well, to answer your first question, “What made you want to be baptized and enter the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?”

I think I shared this a long time ago. time ago with you and Annabelle, that I always believed and knew that, there is a Creator even when I was much younger as a primary child. I am grateful that I have a mother who gave me no restrictions when I wanted to seek learning, even a long-distance correspondence of religion studies to learn about Buddhism and God.

I think the main reason why I want to be baptized and enter the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is because I prayed to Heavenly Father in Jesus’s name to seek His help to gather our family as a whole again after your Daddy and Mummy went through our first divorce. I promised Jesus Christ that I would someday go into His Church as a family and in my heart, I was wondering which church I should go to. When our family walked into the baptism fond, I knew that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true church on earth and led by the Savior because of the little promise I made at that moment, only Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and myself know about it. And He made it happen, bringing a broken family back together again!

“What was/is your testimony when you entered that covenant with the Lord?”

When I entered the covenant with the Lord, I think I had the testimony that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and my family so much, that He sent His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ to die and live again for me; I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I know that family can be together for all time and eternity; I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always with me because I can see Their hands in every single aspect of my life, from helping me to get our current home, how the Lord paved the path in front of me after divorce, reunite with your Daddy, registered of marriage again, and how the Lord directs our family towards His Church. All these are the testimonies that I had. All these small pieces and bits strengthen me to keep the Word of Wisdom, the Law of Tithing, and make myself worthy to enter my baptismal covenant with the Lord. I further walked into the temple and made temple covenants with the Lord, even though I only went to the temple twice.

Writing here, I find that it is funny, as I will still be able to write all these things calmly because I thought it was supposed to be the opposite. Anyway, it is a healing that I can change my focus to the more important matters now. I am grateful to the Lord for getting me to where I am now. The Holy Ghost has brought back my sacred spiritual memories reminding me to remember the Savior. I am thankful to Elder Yu, for posting these questions to me because I know you are guided and instructed by the Lord.

I am grateful to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, who gave me the precious opportunity to become a mother to His divine son and daughter, Issac and Annabelle. After you go on with your mission, Annabelle helps a lot in the home. She takes care of her Mummy like her big brother. I feel blessed that I have 2 not so little guardian angels anymore to teach, share, encourage, uplift, love, and care for me! I love both of you so much!

Elder Yu, I hope I can learn and grow spiritually together with you over the coming 2 years. So, please do not worry about what happened in the home and focus on your two years to serve the Lord—"invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.”

Love,

Mommy

Image via https://latterdaysaintmag.com/hand-in-hand-with-angels/#google_vignette

Letter to My Children

Today is a national holiday – Nuzul al-Quran. We had a good sleep throughout and woke up at about 9 a.m. Issac wanted to go to the nearest Puchong Prima photo studio to take his U.S. visa photo. Then we went for our lunch at Kopitiam near our home.

We decided to go to Main Place USJ21 to have some ‘lepak’ time in Starbucks as now Starbucks has every day during Ramadan month has RM5 on a second handcrafted beverage with any handcrafted beverage purchased. We got ourselves a chocolate cream chip and a peach passion blossom cream Frappuccino.

We had a good time spending time together doing our interest. We went to Popular for a while and we had our early dinner at Ayam Penyet Best Station. I am glad we had a good time together this afternoon.

This reminds me of the letter that I wrote to my children in my Institute assignment: list five or more promises that will help me “rear [my] children in love and righteousness, provide for [my children’s] physical and spiritual needs, and teach [my children] to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizen wherever they live” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,”) After each of the promises, I need to write to my children why I think it is so important that I, as their parents, fulfill that promises. And need to refer specifically to the sixth and seventh paragraphs of the family proclamation for ideas. Here is what I wrote:

Dear Children,

I promise to pray with you every day. I know it is important that you have a personal relationship with your Heavenly Father. I know He is there, and He will hear and answer your prayer. You can pray to Him anytime and anywhere.

I promise to study the scripture with you. I know you will find peace and strength to resist temptations when you study scriptures daily because scriptures are the words of God. You will invite the Holy Ghost into your life.

I promise to teach you by example how to budget time and resources. Teach you about self-reliance and the importance of preparing for your future. It encourages you to independent learning to unlock your potential and grow to be passionate and capable contributors to the work of salvation.

I promise to spend individual time with you, letting you choose the activities and the subject of conversation, and eliminating distractions by putting away electronic devices. I promise to help you create happy memories by building our family traditions, meaningful vacations, and wholesome activities.

I promise to be there and listen to you if you approach me with a problem, see issues from your point of view, and resist the urge to give you a solution. Instead, ask questions for clarification and arrive at a solution together. I want you to know it is ok if you make a mistake, and making a mistake does not affect my love for you.

Love,

Mother

Tender Mercies by Annie Henrie Nader. Image via AltusFineArt.com

This is a painting of a mother with her two children, and an angel supporting her. It is a sacred moment of sacrifice, endurance, and great love. This painting is also a tribute to the many tender mercies in our lives – the sweetness found in motherhood, and also the angels who come to our rescue in the form of friends and family. By seeing these tender mercies we come to know God’s great love for His children.

One Piggy, Two Pesos USJ Taipan

Today all 3 of us were busy with church activities. In the morning, Annabelle got her online seminary, after which Issac and I fetched her to the Asia Jaya LRT station as she had a girls’ outing with her friends to meet at Pasar Seni.

Issac came with me to church for the Puchong Branch Primary Service Project to clean the Church. After which he stayed at the Church for his YSA Devotional. I just drove back home, did some household chores, and had a nap. I must be so tired that I slept from noon to almost 4 pm.

While Annabelle was on LRT, she called and said that the sister missionaries would like her to join to teach a lesson to the new investigators at The Carpenter’s Daughter Artisan Bakery & Café. Issac was back at home from his YSA activity. We just waited for Belle to come home and went out together.

Both Issac and I dropped Belle at the café at USJ 9, and then we just drove around and searched for our dinner. After we discussed and made a few comparisons, we decided to go to Two Pesos. Two Pesos is well-known as a hot pot specialist.

Issac chose the Tajine Seafood Pot 一品海鲜塔吉锅, originating from South Moroccan classic cuisine.

It uses the notion of heat circulation in a tower to retain the water content in food materials while extracting the inherent moisture and taste of components—a truly natural seafood relish.

I just chose the Sesame Chicken Pot 酒香麻油鸡锅. It is an authentic Taiwanese way to savor delicious chicken.

In a dedicated pot, stir-fry finely sliced ginger in premium sesame oil before adding aromatic rice wine and distinctive soup broth. The best method to enjoy nourishing chicken soup.

We were almost finished when Annabelle called to say that her appointment with the sisters missionary was finishing and she had yet to have her dinner. Then, I just picked her up at the café, and she ordered Milky Seafood Pot 牛奶海鮮锅 when she reached Two Pesos.

It is derived from their top chef's secret recipe, the smooth, rich, and nutritious French-style milky soup is designed with the most enjoyable soup that will not be found anywhere else.

Issac took out his book and did his reading while waiting for Annabelle to finish her dinner. Our dinner is so nice and we enjoy our ‘we time’ together as it is quite a comfortable dining environment for families.  We feel as if we had a great time after each of us had our activities during the day. It is a great evening, reminds us back to the time when we were at our old house at USJ1 and the time being together during there were only three of us.

Letter to My Spouse

There was a final project that every student required to complete during Week 13 while I was taken my Institute class of REL200 The Eternal Family - The Project: Understanding Sacred Duties few semesters ago. I can choose either Option A: Building Faith and Providing Encouragement or Option B: Letters to Current or Future Family.

I had chosen Option B. I required to write two letters: one to my future or current spouse, and one to my future or current children. In the letter to my spouse, I need to list five or more promises that will help me love and support my spouse as an equal partner. I have to ensure that my promises focus on the divinely appointed role of my spouses as mentioned in the sixth and seventh paragraphs of the family proclamation. After each of these promises write why I think this promise is so important.

It was quite an emotional roller coaster while I worked on this assignment. My term with Alvin was not good at all. I feel as it was awkward and not comfortable at all, but after pondered and prayed much, I had written the following letter.

Dear Alvin (Husband), 

I promise to have faith. It is the first principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is not only faith in God and His beloved Son, not only in the living prophets, but faith must be the first principle of our marriage – to have a sincere and ever-growing faith in you and also in our children. We attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evenings, pray, and study the scriptures together. Our faith will grow as we keep the commandments, and so will the harmony and joy in marriage.

I promise to respect and support you by your side by focusing first on home, helping and sharing responsibilities, and making our homes a safe place where everyone in the family feels love and a sense of belonging. It is because every family member is different with our unique gifts, abilities, and differences. Teach our children by being examples in keeping our covenant and the Lord’s commandments.

I promise to read the scriptures with you more often as a couple. It is because the best place to go for insight into marriage is to the Lord – through prayer and the scriptures. Searching the scriptures to find counsel is a way to strengthen our marriage.

I promise to “reason together” with you as we hold the family councils, which means no arguing, haranguing, or backbiting but instead reasoning with soft-spoken voices. After “reason together” and being guided by the spirit, we decide to move confidently and harmonize with the Lord. It is because I know that I should stand equally yoked together, just as we are meant to share equally in every blessing that the Lord endowed to our family when we made our temple covenant in His presence. I know that we can achieve the eternal objective of becoming one before God.

I promise to pray for the love which allows me to see the goodness in you. Pray for the love that sees weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your joy mine. Pray for the love to want to bear your burdens and soften your sorrows. It is because I know I am imperfect. All these unseen differences accumulated day after day may add to a possible future breakdown in our marital relationship. I promise to pray with you and include our Heavenly Father in our marriage. I know that He will help bring us even closer every day.

Love,

Your Dear Wife

Worlds without End by J. Kirk Richards. Image via jkirkrichards.wpcomstaging.com

I feel as if it is impossible for both of us to reach there, but I know that I should and shall trust in Him that He knows what the best for me and my family. I love the Lord with all my Heart, Mind and Soul. I could not imagine my life without Him - to calm my fears, gives me peace and comfort. I know I am in His good hands. My Redeemer lives.

A Nostalgia Saturday

Annabelle started to take her IGCSE exam this year. She will take her first 2 subjects, Chinese as a Second Language and O Level English.

Today she is going to take her Chinese Oral exam at Sri Emas International School at 1.30 pm, and she needs to be there at noon.

Issac initially wanted to attend the Institute and he left home early thinking of using LRT to go to church at PJ. He called us while we were on our way out from home for our breakfast at Hoong Foong Dim Sum at USJ 21.

Then I told Issac to use the LRT back to USJ21 station to meet us at Hoong Foong Dim Sum. The timing was just right and we had a scrumpalicious and fulfilling breakfast!

After which we dropped Annabelle at Sri Emas, Issac and I headed to Citta Mall to chill at the Starbucks while waiting for her oral session to end. I was writing my journal on what happened over the past 2 weeks. We got a great deal at Starbucks where we got 2 drinks at only RM25.00++!

Both of us almost forgot that Issac needs to go to Jane Yap Atelier to take his artwork photo, while I need to reload and top-up my Touch n Go card at Citta Mall! We managed to get it done before we fetched Annabelle.

We fetched Annabelle at about 2.00 pm and we headed to IOI Mall Puchong to get some books for both at the Popular Book Store. I was gazing at the bookshelf and something caught my eye. It is an interactive journal which I think is interesting. I just told Issac that I am kind of lost after got to know his dad’s thing. I need something to focus back as I have sort of lost my direction in life.

Issac shared with me that he experienced the same as when he got to know about Alvin. He is now trying to do what he can to the Lord’s will – to help others and be Christlike. I was sharing with him that, apart from that he must be taking care of himself first before he could help others. I know what is my final destination in life, but it seems as if I need to take a step back and reassess my priorities, to reconnect with what I truly want in my life. Of course, I have a job or just started my career after hibernating for so long to take care of the children. Then three of us managed to buy the books we wanted, and we were happy about that.

We decided to have our dinner at the mall before we headed back home. This was our dinner at the Noodle King House. A restaurant specializing in noodles, especially in its Signature Fried Fish Head Noodles with its superior soup base.

While we were heading home, Issac said that today it seemed nostalgic to him, as he remembered days when the three of us used to go out together during weekends. My heart was broken when I heard that. Yes, these were the feelings where we used to have every weekend during they were much younger – three of us had each other to rely on and depend on…

Church Membership

This afternoon we received a WhatsApp message in our family group chat. It is a message from him.

Dear Koko and Mei Mei, I have things to tell u all.  This Thursday church will have a membership interview with me at 830pm.  Daddy admits I am not a person who follows thy commandments I may choose to release as a church member and retrieve my temple recommend.  Let me find out where am I and what to choose ya.  The following advice like to highlight for the coming event:

1) Koko end May 24 we will still be in Bangkok temple but I won’t be witness you in the temple ya cause I cannot enter.   But no matter how I will be with u all in Bangkok.

2) Koko you are a Melchizedek priesthood already, and a well grown up gentleman.  Daddy is proud of you and Mei Mei for self-learning and being so obedient children.

3) This is always my family which I will be taking care of ya.

Don’t worry about me.  I have very strong faith in the Father in Heaven, he still and the Holy Ghost always guide me on every path I go.  I still pray and listen to thy message.

I love you all ya.❤️

I can feel my heart aching when I read his message. I feel disappointed and sad as he is considering to give up his church membership. I have treasured my church membership so much that it is the most precious account that I could have in the world. I do not understand why he can treat it so lightly. I feel pain and broken again. It is the feeling that I felt once a long time ago, now after 12 years I feel it again.

I try my best not to judge but why does he still think that the Holy Ghost is with him? “the Spirit of the Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples” (Helaman 4:24). Even though we have received the gift of the Holy Ghost, the Spirit will dwell with us only when we keep the commandments. He will withdraw if we offend Him by profanity, uncleanliness, disobedience, rebellion, or other sins. This is not the path that Heavenly Father asked him to walk. Instead, Alvin using his agency to choose his own path now.

I hope my instinct is wrong. I feel as if he is considering or maybe wanting to convert the woman to Christian as she is an Indonesian Muslim. Or either he would consider to change religion? I do not know, but I do know that since long ago, whenever he fell in love with someone, he would be madly madly in love and would do things like this. I am not sure but this is not the first time he being through this. It happened before during our divorce. I feel heartache or rather heartbreak again…

My heartbreak is merciless grief that comes in waves, depriving me of both appetite and sleep. It is a shard that never goes away from my stomach, though maybe the edges will get softer with time. In quiet moments, it short circuits my head and chokes my breath, feeling as real as death and bereavement. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of love I put my everything into.

Those feelings appeared again… I feel as if Alvin and I are not made for each other because this is the second chance we have and still we end up like this. Both of us could not compliment or complete each other, instead, we became the worst version of ourselves which is not the best couple and friends for each other. End up he could not keep or uphold his covenants and become better.

I told Annabelle and Issac that I must be madly in love with their dad during the premortal life, that I must keep on begging and convincing Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that Alvin and I must be together when we come to earth. That is the reason why we are here we are now. Both their dad and mummy got so many opportunities to fix and repair but still in vain.

My heart was overflowing with gratefulness for the gospel and the abundance of spiritual gifts that had arrived to support, guide, and assist me, especially my two little angels who lift me every time. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me and my family, and I know my Redeemer lives!

Guiding Light by Annie Henrie Nader. Image via AltusFineArt.com

Lead kindly light, amid th’encircling gloom. Lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene – one step enough for me. ~ Lead, Kindly Light; Hymn 97