An Heartbroken Email…

FROM:

• Alvin yu Shee thai

TO:

• ipeng ipeng

Wednesday, 21 March 2012, 7:18

Dear,

I won't not know whether what i'm going to say is right or wrong or to do so, but the feeling is right forsure... elderly always advice the feeling never lie...

Dear, we ve been together over many years... and over the years a lot of things happen through us, especially me my life my courrier, and wat makes me realise is that in fact i reconize myself even more clearer then before.  I like dressing up, like getting myself looks younger, like and like more individual social life, but although wat has being changed to me, kids are always the first part of me... of course very lucky that u got your dream job works on and free arrangeable time to look after kids... in fact u are a good mothre and lady (honestly) but i m the one which fail to acting myself be a good husband.. this statement i m not telling me having affair and affected us no please don get it wrong, is simply i read my self clearer then before like i choosen roman catholic going back where i belongs why cause reason of papa, my guardian past away already i need a spiritual guardian i need a religion to live with... not affected by anyone except myself.. similar to what i felt myself in fact not a good husband, but a good father only..

I propose don affect kids life and let them happily live at a happlily atmosphere, but us i suggest to divorce, but still friend, all this family responsibility still on me as usual but there will be a room for me to see and look forward of my future... home wise i just ask for living room sofa, relationship i will still be kids super hero father and till they are 15 i will slowly explain to them, if if if they dislike me by then i got no choice, but i forsee might be the possitive side, between u and me can't be a pair of couple also no need to become enemy, i will still care of you that will make us a very good friend, ya..

I know not a message able to chat through the toughs but be honest their never an affair which affecting us, is completely myself and my feeling and of wat i see myself.. Those history of sms you see in those phone haha all gone all settle i rather single and think of wat i like then getting another issue to kill me.... well after u have read this message don panic ok arrange a time we need to talk through it...

go now cheers... ok

         *****                  *****                   *****

This is the email that he just threw like that?

I feel a bit odd that he mentioned he would like to go back to the Roman Catholic last night… I just shared with him the thoughts and founding's I have with the YouTube about the Buddhism teachings.

I cannot help myself but pouring out my tears after I had sent both Issac and Annabelle to school and Teacher Joyce’s house.

I went back home and cried…I can feel my heart is etching and bleeding…after all this years…I still cannot uphold and protect my family? my 2 little babies?

I drove to Aunt Jasmine’s house and sat quite a long time…

What should I do?

He told me that his previous relationship with the Thai massage girl had gone, just settled. Eventually, I found out later that he is starting to fall in love with a sales executive which I think would be become his project supplier or contractor…almost meeting up everyday..she is 27 years old, 10 years younger than me. She is a Roman Catholic.

The man I had lived for almost 10 years, just would not change his character.

Divorce?

I guess he got no feelings towards me except just for the kids sack.

I really hope I can calm down and think what I really want? Am I going to live on like this for the rest of my life?

I love him..if I do not love him, I guess I would not feel so sad and heartbreaking. But, really, what is love to him?

He came back tonight. I just pretended nothing happened. He looked tired and avoiding me. Very annoying looks when I wanted to talk to him. After 10 years, am I so…?