My Email…

FROM:

• Ipeng Too

TO:

• Alvin yu Shee thai

Thursday, 22 March 2012, 16:08

Dear,

Like wise, i am calm when i write this. And, this is how i feel...

When i get to know you that time, 10 years back, you are always dressing up as you mentioned, did i ever stop you from dressing up smart?

did i ever stop you from buying the things you like or desire?

Change...truly, i think you are not the only one change, me too.

After we married and having kids, i had stopped smoking... i had stopped drinking beer, liquor...i had even tried my best to adapt all the changes including my own works, from a project exec to become an office purchaser, i even change a job, not to say a dream job but is consider a 'give and take' choice i had to make, that i had to sacrifice my stable income to a lower income but i would have the time to accompany my children. That it is a brand new experience to me. I had left behind activities with friends, family, etc., just to cope with day time jobs, fetching children on time in the evening, talk to them,  play with them, perhaps not enough time to talk, and listen with you more often like we used to be.

I do change a lot, don't you agree?

Both Issac and Annabelle are still young, but Issac is starting to feel it already..

This morning, Issac asked me in the car," Mummy, daddy come back today and sleep?' "Daddy sleeping in the office?" " I love daddy."

Do you know that every night till certain time, Issac is asking about you?

There is a night, just last week, he is asking,

"Mummy, why daddy do not come back and sleep?"

"No, daddy got works to do."

"Mummy, i want Daddy to take care of me."

"Em..why? you don't want mummy take care of you already?" i just smiled at him and said.

"No. I want Mummy and Daddy together take care of me.". Then, he kiss and hugged me.

I do not bring this up to you earlier, is because I do not want you to feel like: family and i are trying to stop you from doing the things you want to do, i.e., your project, part time income to support the family, your company with Ah Heng and Chieng...

Don't you see? He is growing up and starting to feel it. He need a father besides him, grow up together with him.

Earlier on, you did bring up these issues and told me wait for the children to grow up first.

But why now? you want to divorce now? Why now?

Can't you wait until both of them grow up till they finish their collage as you mentioned earlier? Why such a rush and hurry? Is there any legitimate reasons behind this?

Can you tell me a reason why such a rush? Can't you wait for both grow up and then we only talk about it? For Issac and Annabelle sack, can't you wait?

                                      *****               *****                *****

I had been drafted for this email for the past yesterday and today, I had been crying and crying, stop, and again, and again…

Morning, after I had sent both to the school and Teacher Joyce’s house, I can not able to work already. Then, I received a sms from Alison that, today she is meeting Grace and she need the file. I unable to go to the appointment, I just drove to Taman Sea office, joined the SY2 Supervision session for a while, then had a talk with Alison.

Alison advised me to think carefully, should I be continued like this. She did share with me Yvonne's experience, and if possible consult a lawyer on the legal aspect. I cried…I passed on Grace’s file to her.

During the time, Daddy sms me, “Ve you read my email…” Then, I got 2 missed calls from him. I was in the meeting, thus I just sms him back, “Meeting.”

My heart was so pumping so fast that. He is so eagerly to know my answer?

I drove back to the school, as I need to collect the RM100.00 that the government subsidized on the students. I saw him in the class, so quite. I went down to the school book store, unfortunately it is closed.

I came back home to continue my email…

Around 3:30pm, I went back to school again to buy the Issac’s missing Bahasa Malaysia Buku Activiti Jilid 1.

I came back home again, emailed out my consent.

He did not come back tonight…

I can see and feel Issac is very sad, that Daddy did not come back.

“I want to call Daddy…” He asked me.

I called. His Daddy is not picking up the phone. “Daddy not pick up the phone, Daddy sleep already”

I slept beside my boy. I just heard he is saying, “ Daddy said, Daddy will come back.”

My tears was unstoppable when I heard my boy said this… I just turned aside and cried.

Why? Why you have to make your own son like this?

I have to take care of my two little babies with all that I got…