Surprisingly tonight he came back, while I was writing this blog. The time is around 9:30pm. The children were watching the Cartoon Network channel. He looked tired. I thought today he would not come back, as tonight is Friday night. It had been so many Friday nights that he never comes home already. This afternoon, he came back home and took his car and a luggage bag already. Next week, he will be
He took his bath and said want to sleep early, and he said he wanted to sleep inside the bedroom. He slept in the Queen size bed. After watching the cartoon, I asked the children to sleep as Issac tomorrow have to go to school for the holiday replacement day.
He whispered and asked me, can he hugged me and sleep. I just replied, “Can I do not want? I have to make myself used to it, sooner or later.” He even slept more closer to me…
“Today, I got meeting. Azizi had resigned from SAFF Builders but Brother Andrew promoted promoted the whole of SAFF Builders to higher position,” He said in subtle way. He is quite upset as Brother Andrew did not promote him instead he promoted those of them are not qualified as he is. He told that, actually Brother Andrew would like to have a dinner with him tonight, but he declined.
I said, “probably Brother Andrew wanted to tell him the reason why he is doing that, probably I do not know how to talk, but there is nothing that you cannot discuss or talk to your brother, because you are brothers.”
“I know, working with him is not easy especially his way of working, but just do not pressure yourself too much, and it is a job. Just make it thru, then that is another project profile for you already.”
He holding my hand, hugged me, his face was closer to my face and hugged me.
“If in future, you have find someone you love and even you will have the family with kids. The first thing I might think off, for sure it would not be fair for these 2 kids. But, eventually, when you have another family, please do not give up if facing difficulties, because you will feel sorry if you do that, like you are letting us go now.”
He said, “If I had found someone, I will let you know ya,”
“No need,” I said in lower tone. “But I got a feeling like you are actually found one already.”
“You will change, I know because you have believe in God.” I sat up in the bed. “I must change too for betterment…I feel sucks…”
He just pated on my back.
When I laid down, he slept more closer to me. He hugged me…kissed me…I tried to push him away…but he is too strong…He touched me at my nipple…my arms…and want to make love with me…I just keep on struggling…He just make love with me…I can feel his lips on my lips, on my nipples, on my face, all over me…at one moment, I felt so relaxed and felt beloved by him…I know it was not long and true feelings from him. I really miss that, how we making love once and long time ago.
I sat up and said, “Why are you doing that? We are going to sign the papers already. You will make me feel awful only, as for the past 1 month, I feel suffer already.” I looked at him. He looked so guilty? I do not know.
My love for him, I do not know…may be times will tell…
心大了，所有的大事都小了；
看淡世事滄桑，内心安然無恙。」
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