Sister Reply…

This morning he came back early in the morning, before 6:00am just to take his things and a few clothing for his water Baptist tomorrow at Tropicana according to him.

And, today he will go to Genting Highlands with Heng, people invited him. I just said softly, “ You invited people? or people invite you? ” He just said, “ I  go with Heng,” Eventually, the truth is – he is going with his lover.

Then, he just went into the bedroom, kissed Issac and Annabelle, told them that he was going to work, then he left our home.

Really and true, pointless waiting for him every night and keep my hope there. There is no hope and I have to learn to let go.

Friend told me accidently that, he asked Heng to rent out a room for him and it is the master bedroom in Heng’s house. This is going to far, even though is friend also cannot takes people advantage like that. He did bring his lover back Heng’s house once and slept in the master bedroom, that is why he is asking Heng like that. Really shown that this man do not have any manners at all, doing things like that, even to the friends, taking advantage on people.

Friend asking me do not check on him already. Just ignore this man and deleted him from my life already, do not need to cross check where is he going? what is he doing? when is he come back? who is he with now? how is he doing now? All these doesn’t matter now. What matter is I have to doing well, and take care of my 2 children, then only worth it. I have to live better than.

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Below is Sis Agatha’s reply on his email yesterday. I am a bit upset on that, but all these does not matter now…because I do understand…blood is thicker than water…even now I am a mother myself…

Sent: Saturday, 7 April 2012 7:10 AM
Subject: Re: personel matters.

Vin,

I am sorry and saddened to hear your narration of the past 5 years of your life.  I am even more sad that you are living in a marriage full of hate and the thirst for revenge on someone whom u once thought could be your partner in life.

Well, while u and family are in Kuching both of u always gave us the impression that u guys are a happy-go-lucky family so when u suddenly drop the bomb to say the 'divorce' word, it was really shocking!!!  Like I said, we know u but how much do we know about Ipeng?  U know 妈 and I are always very careful where it comes to daughter-in-laws - i.e. we try very hard not to find faults in them becos that way it will cause u guys and your wives to quarrel.  I think 妈 & our late 爸 are the best parents-in-law in this world.  Their motto has always been "As long as they are happy, then it is ok with us".

Vin, I apologize for my strong tone of voice but again I want to emphasize we just want to find out what happened bcos it is so sudit den and not to condemn u.  Can u imagine how 妈 feels when she heard about it?  First, it is Ah Lek &  Anna and now it is u and ipeng.  Well, Ko's case is already history and Ying Ying is now all grown up.  I just hope whatever happened, u all have the courtesy to tell 妈 what happened cos u are all her sons and honestly when u guys never seek her advice in life, she felt that she is useless and no one trust and confides in her.

Vin, from your email, we can tell that ur mind has been made up long time ago.  We will not encourage u to go thru with it but neither can we stop u bcos this is something personal and only u yourself know what u want in life.  BUT to leave a marriage bcos of hate and vengeance is psychologically very damaging to yourself. Learn to let go lah Vin.  There is a famous saying "Forgive your enemy but never forget them", but then again, don't treat ipeng as ur enemy lah.  Perhaps as a woman and ur wife she is equally hurt by your betrayal (ur affair) and her present character is probably her way of revenge as well, who knows.  U want to punish her, she wants to punish u, .....  well, Vin, marraige is about committment, a lot of hard work, a lot of tears, anger and a lot of joy and laughter at the very end.

Vin, like I always tell u, don't talk in such a defensive manner, be it w your family including us and at the work site.  This causes tension and unease and at site, u offended people without realising it.

Talking to Ko does not mean u have to resign.  He is our 大 哥 and Ko being Ko is very concern about all of us.  If u find it difficult to start the topic, perhaps we can start for you and no, it doesn't mean we want Ko to stop u from your decision.  By talking out your problem with your family, perhaps u can find peace in your heart so that in future, IF and IF u find someone u think "suits u" as u put it, u will not unconciously transfer the bad experience from this marriage to your new life, otherwise u will be torturing yourself.

U know how close we all are as a family.  Anything just let us know and call for help early.  So how is the arrangement for the 2 kids if the 2 of u go your separate ways?  That is 妈's concern bcos children are innocent victims of divorce.  妈 said she doesn't dare to say much cos u didn't ask for her advice.

Anyway, Vin, I just want to let u know, that u think through properly with a calm mind and if that is your final decision, no one can stop u BUT u must make sure that u will NOT live in regrets.  妈 is very old already and 爸 has left.  If u guys have time, do call her and talk to her or if (financially) possible, come and visit her more often.

Well, Vin, U take K.  Don't shut us, your only immediate family, out.  See u on 爸's 100th day.

Regards,

姐

理解你的人不需要解釋，
不理解你的人，也不需你解釋，
真正懂你的人，絶不會因為那些有的、沒的而否定你。